Why a taken guy acts interested in me and what I should do?

I have started in a new job and there is this guy I have a crush on. I was sure he liked me too because he sent a lot of signs. He was very nice and helped me in everything. He smiles to me much and is constantly joking with me. He always looks at me a long time. Sometimes he acts really nervous around me, for example he drops stuff to the floor. Then sometimes he just ignores me and can't look at me in the eye. Some of the other coworkers sometimes say weird things about us...like for example that we should walk together when we leave from the workplace...or I should tell him that he is cute...I know they are joking but that is just weird...The problem is that I recently found out he has a girlfriend who he has been with quite a long time...So I really don't know what's going on or what I should do...I still like him a lot but I feel that it is so wrong because he is taken..


Most Helpful Guy

  • cause people can't control it if they find someone attractive. you should do nothing. he has a girlfriend and that should be all you need to know to just be friends with him. if the relationship he is in fails then maybe you can step up to the plate. but you don't want a guy who will either cheat on his girlfriend or will dump a girl just to be with another girl because it shows that they are fickle and are only committed to a girl until another one comes along.

    now if a year or so you two just seem to have an amazing connection (like soulmates) maybe then if he dumps his girl for you it's OK, but this guy clearly just has a crush. nothing should happen based on a new crush. be his friend and leave it at that for now


What Guys Said 1

  • Ah, no one is ever really 'taken.' We always are exploring, it's normal. Go ahead and be friendly to him; it won't cause any harm.

    If you avoid looking at him, it will likely start gossip at work--they'll wonder if something was going on and you broke up..!


What Girls Said 1

  • I'm sorry to say this, but I think getting involved with someone taken is asking for trouble.

    How long have you known him? How long has he been with her? I think it's a bit shady on his part to behave like that whilst hiding he has a girlfriend. It sucks you've found out just now that you've developed a crush on him, but I highly suggest you try not to pursue him. If his relationship fails -and- he takes enough time to be ready for a new relationship then it'll be fair game, but for now It's probably a bad idea.

    Even if he dumped her girlfriend and started pursuing you right away, there's a high chance it wouldn't work because once the rainbows and butterflies fade away, you both might stumble upon a relationship with no solid foundation. After that, how long before he finds someone else, or you turn out to not be that into him, or he misses his ex? It's sadly a difficult and unfair situation for everyone involved. I learned it the hard way!

    On top of that, you're co workers...with all it involves.

    In short, I think this is a volatile deal. You don't have to stop talking to him or do something very abrupt, but please be careful and think things through. Once you can decide what to do, you could either fade things away, confront him or pursue him. If you do the last, just try to make sure his feelings are genuine.

    Best of luck!