I am beautiful (or so I'm told), but...

I've always been told how beautiful I am..a guy has actually stopped me in the subway and said to me "do you know how beautiful you are? holy hell"..

but..guys rarely approach me. I only get asked out by really not so attractive guys, and ended up dating one of them for 2 years because I felt like I could never get better. I feel really ugly, so now I'm wondering, am I actually pretty? or have guys just said that to me to get with me? OR what could it be?

i don't mean to sound arrogant, I'm just wondering why this is?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have had the same problem. I always thoght I was ugly, but couldn't really put my finger on what exactly about me was so horrible. I get compliments all the time. I wasn't aware of the problem until a couple years ago. I ran into a guy I had gone to high school with. I talked to him. He finished the conversation saying he couldn't believe I actually talked to him. I asked him what he meant by his statement. "You were one of the prettiest girls in school. All the guys wanted to date you." When asked why I was never asked out, his reply was "we were all afraid you would blow us off".

    After hearing that, I decided if I was ever going to have an active dating life, I would have to go the extra mile in making guys see the more approachable, easy-going side. It has worked.

    The reason you have such low self-esteem is because guys have been scared of getting turned down by you, so they don't even bother. Because this has happened, you think the only guy you can get is like the guy you dated for 2 years. He was probably the only one smart enough to figure out you were a real person, not a doll. He probably knew he was ugly, and figured if you talked to him, he better jump on it. Hope this info helps you out like it has me.

    If you need to experiment a little with it...try putting on a ball cap. I will almost bet that you will get hit on. For some reason, guys will think you're "one of the guys". I guess that's easier for them to approach than a beauty.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You're kinda assuming that because you're attractive, that somehow translates to automatically being in a relationship.

    I think the problem is that you're waiting for things to happen to you, rather than taking control of your life.

    Have you ever asked a guy out? Ever initiated a conversation with a guy you thought was cute?

    How do you respond when guys talk to you? Are you open and friendly? Because I can tell you that no matter how good she looks, I'm not going to spend a lot of time on a girl who's distant...

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    • I'm super nice, not bitchy in the least bit, I try to appreciate every convo I have, so I'm very nice to guys who speak to me. I've never asked a guy out, I'm afraid of being rejected.

    • One of the main reasons guys don't ask out girls is because we're afraid of rejection, too.

      But I've learned that rejection hurts a hell of a lot less than wondering "what if"? for months...

    • Good persepctive

  • not to build your ego without seeing you but it could be the case that your so pretty most guys are intimedated by you and think they don't have a chance or that youd have to be in a relationship with some rich older man.

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  • Yeah so its kinda hard to tell if we can't see you.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think sometimes being really good looking can actually scare guys off from asking you out, as they prob feel you're way out their league or something!

    You prob need to try to be a bit more forward and show that just because you are good looking doesn't mean you're not obtainable and maybe up your own ass, which some people may think if you haven't tried speaking to them. Don't just wait for people to make the first move basically =)

    If you see a guy you like go for it, as he's prob scared lol

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  • I have the same problem. Guys almost never approach me, and I never had a boyfriend or anything. And don't settle for a guy because you don't think you can't do better. That's a bad thing to do, and it'll only hurt both you and the guy. I'm sure you are a very pretty girl, but you'll be so much prettier if you have confidence in yourself. Believe in the compliments that people give you, and don't leave any room for doubt. I know it is so much easier believing negative things over positive things, but this should help. Also, I'll tell you what a couple of people on here told me. Find things you really love about yourself, and embrace it.

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  • Guys are sometimes intimidated by pretty girls. They may think that you will turn them down

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  • I agree with Neubauten. Being beautiful will get you noticed, but it does not necessarily mean you are destined for a great relationship.

    If you want something to happen, make it happen.

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  • The only time you'll truly feel beautiful is when you have self confidence and you are sure of yourself.

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