Guys, when do you change?

When do you change from looking for fun, distracting girls to date..

and start looking for a girl to have a family with?

What causes the change?

Age?

Job?

Updates:
I just find, most the guys my age and younger, are only looking for fun and distraction.. not even really looking for a long term relationship...


But guys who are just 3 years older then me, are looking for more then I'm willing to give...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not a matter of changing. Guys don't change. They move onto different things. That's why so many guys avoid those "relationship" women. They keep trying to change the guy. They're never happy with the guy from the start. So they'll keep trying to change the guy to the point where the guy says "I thought she liked me..."

    The other fact of the matter is, having children in this economy right now is a luxury. The claim that "we made more jobs" is not really true because they're part time jobs and raising a kid without a full time job is suicide. So many people can't even get a full time job. So think about finding a full time job that actually pays good money. I'm not saying this in a "girls just want money" way, but merely pointing out that you can't raise a good family without a good job.

    As for age, that can go either way. Some 21 year olds go heavy into partying and others stay bookworms and never have a drop of alcohol. I never was big into drinking at 21 but I did have a lot of alcohol I think around my mid twenties. So it can any which way. You got middle aged and old people who are regulars at certain bars too.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Well I don't know yet... right now I'm dead against ever having kids... or even getting married in any way that has any acknowledgement of religion whatsoever (however hit up the registry office and have a garden party to celebrate, and maybe a non-religious ceremony, and I'm cool).

    I don't know yet because it hasn't happened to me... please don't! I don't want to have kids.. thought scares the $hit outta' me - for one thing I think it's.. well this might be considered controversial, and some might think I'm a bigot or somethin' but I'm just being honest, I think it's cruel to bring kids into this world. Fine with anyone who is not me or my partner having kids though. Just my personal perception is that I don't think it's fair to bring more children into this grossly over populated world clearly headed for disaster largely due to that right there the over population. I'm all for adopting though - don't see why don't people adopt instead of bringing more children about... I mean it's damn sure obvious that there are millions of children in this world who need a better life, in some cases who need loving parents. I'm not talking about poor children in Africa who have loving parents, because those children would probably prefer to stay where they are with their parents over getting taken to a more fruitful life without their parents whom they love. I'm talking about children who don't have loving parents - they are the ones who want adopting. They got brought into the world and now nobody wants them so why not help one of those poor souls out instead of bringing more kids into the world.. I bet it's a natural instinct thing though - natural instinct to continue the bloodline to make an heir.

    But even so, I might not want to be a parent in any conceivable way ever.. I don't for now and I hope I stay this way and find a Miranda Richardson or a Helen Mirren to go with it. I enjoy the company of myself a lot, and friends, and cute girls... maybe I'm a manchild or maybe I'm just not destined to grow up entirely. I'm okay with that.

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  • It comes down to the individual girl. If a great girl was around when I was 14 I would have been dead on devoted to her. While my taste in women has gradually changed over the years with each new experience, I've always been ready and willing for a serious devoted relationship with the right woman, even though I've partied a lot. I never felt I had to be free and wild. I just enjoy the short term companionship of naive girls that think they need to be free and wild when they're young until something serious comes along. You girls sure do take a long time to grow up.

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  • I only ever look for a serious relationship. My last girlfriend I asked to marry me and I thought of children, where we could live, how we could afford them but the whole thing feel apart. I want someone I can say cares the same about me as I do about them but I am not asking another women to marry me unless I know for certain they are ready for that kind of commitment and they never question my feelings for them or there feelings for myself.

    When I go out with a girl now I don't go out assuming this is the girl I am going to marry, I approach it one step at a time and try to see if they enjoy spending time around me and if I enjoy the time I spend with them I will consider us to go on a few more dates before we become exclusive (I am a managomist.)

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  • People are different. You just haven't met, or chose to see any. Easy as that.

    And do you make your intentions clear from the start when you meet guys? Take a look at yourself as well, you never know where the problem lies.

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  • Usually as we approach our 30s

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  • When she wants the same...

    Why is it whenever the guy wants to settle down, the girl doesn't, but when the girl wants to, the guy doesn't?

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  • I think it is the wrong time for me to start looking for a girl to start having a family with...

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  • I've always been the "settling down" type myself - regardless of my age, and so are a lot of guys...

    But usually by 25, guys tend to become homebodies ;)

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  • It really depends on the person. I've always only looked for serious relationships

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  • Whenever the right girl happens to run into me.

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  • When/if I realize the girl is even worth it

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What Girls Said 7

  • i think for most people women and men -despite what cosmo says- its the right person showing up right time or wrong time. not the money or job.

    some people,just don't want it and say they are not ready. but in reality its just not their thing. for people who value a real connection and recognize a person is special to them and are able to love- its never really a bad time. some times more difficult than others. but never bad or wrong time.

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  • i want to know too

    the guy I was dating was 6 years older than me, he said he doesn't want to go steady at the moment said what about 6 months later, I m so confused

    am not looking for steady serious relationship right now but I want it takes it slowly and goes steady

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  • i'm thinking it's the how gradual one's mind develops

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  • I als would like to know this.. I mean I'm sure its different for everyone, but I'm sure some common things are out there!

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  • When they realize its time to quit wallowing in their virgin sorrow or quit manwhoring and want to settle with a virgin girl.

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  • It really depends on the guy. Some guys want this from their early twenties and some don't ever want it. Some guys have it a while, get bored, and have affairs. You can flip that around for women, too.

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  • for me it was after dating douche bags and I realized if I wanted a good guy I was going to have to be a catch myself... good guys don't partying hoes..

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