Advice For An Ugly Duckling

I'm so tired of being an ugly duckling, what can I do to become a swan? On a scale from 1-10 I'm like a 4. Is there anyway I can go from 4 to an 8?

I would post my picture but it's too embarrassing, so I'll try to describe to the best of my ability.

Style: Very plain and conservative, half of my clothes are 3-5 years old (some are even older). I do own some more fashion forward clothes that I rarely wear but I don't think I look good or comfortable in them. The vast majority of my clothes are t-shirts and jeans and my two favorite shirts have Hello Kitty on them but I'm too old for Hello Kitty and I should be wearing more sophisticated clothing

The shoes I have are adidas and they're pretty new (less than a year old) so I guess those are more fashion forward. I don't wear any accessories (my ears aren't even pierced).

Makeup: I actually just started wearing powder foundation but I don't really like it. It comes off on everything and it makes me sneeze. I have a weird skin color and I've bought three powder foundations and none of them match. Maybe I'm not applying it correctly? Occasionally I'll wear lip gloss but most of the time it's chapstick.

Hygiene: Hygiene is pretty good, but I don't wash my hair everyday because I know if I washed it everyday it would dry up and disappear, but I hear that guys are grossed out if a girl doesn't wash her hair everyday. I try to take really good care of my skin but it seems so ugly! I have large pores, splotchy areas, dark circles around my eyes, and there's always 5-10 pimples on my face at any given time.

Hair: I'm very lazy when it comes to my hair because it takes 2 hours to straighten. It's has quite a bit of damage on the ends from having to straighten it so I just put my hair into a ponytail everyday because there's nothing else that can be done to it.

I'm get zero attention from guys, and I know it's 100% because of my looks because I'm the nicest person ever.

I do try to get advice from my friends but they just tell me to wear bright colors and tell me that I shouldn't worry so much about what guys think about my appearance and that it's what's on the inside that counts, but that really doesn't help me.

Will someone take me under their wing and tell me everything that I should do? I don't expect to be one of those girls that get approached by guys everyday but if I could attract just one guy I would feel a lot better.

Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry it took me so long to reply everyone.


Most Helpful Guy

  • No bullsh*t what so ever, I glanced over the whole thread to see how big it was and literally spotted this sentence: "I'm get zero attention from guys, and I know it's 100% becuase of my looks because I'm the nicest person ever. "

    I'm the NICEST person ever -- have you ever heard the expression the nice one finishes last?

    It may be true, but sometimes women have it easier - so lets get to work!

    Clothes 3-5 years old - That's great that they still fit, but those clothes are OLD ;; they may be color faded / out of fashion etc... Take them to your local second hand store and donate them - be sure to get a receipt for what they would have been worth, this is a tax write-off for you or your parents ^_^ ;; After you have most the clothes gone, take your paycheck or some allowance from friends or family and go shopping - brings some friends with you or ask the associate to assist you (Its hard not to be shy, but they ARE there to help ^_^) Let it clearly be known you will go out of your comfort zone if you are doing it right... You could stay in your comfort zone, but were making a change remember?

    Hygene - Chica (girl) chica, chica... Wash that hair EVERY day, conditioner is a must ^_^ healthy hair isn't just for looks, it helps you from not losing your hair when your older! - As for the splotchy areas / pores / pimples - invest in Pro-Active, I used to be a model and it helped ALOTTTTTT... Be sure to stick to a schedule to force yourself to use the product, otherwise - it doesn't work (It will get worse before it gets better) -- As far as the dark circles - Get more rest, don't rub your eyes when you cry, and also use your ring finger to apply makeup -- any other finger will cause too much pressure and end up bruising the veins in your eye lids.

    Also, a side note on the clothing - and I'm not trying to be rude -- sometimes these "hello kitty" shirts work out great, most times.. not so much... I would strongly recommend you try changing to shirts that have a design with a small logo or maybe some well known companies larger logos such as Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, American Eagle... etc

    You can find some clothes that resemble the same style for cheaper at a local Ross or "wholesale" market

    Good luck and I hope that helped, if I can provide more assistance let me know~

    P.s. I'm giving you advice that I learned from trained professionals at IMD (Image Modeling Development) which is internationally known for their Models.

    • Yeah, I have heard the expression "the nice person finishes last", but I can't help it. Sometimes I try to be more mean...well not mean but less polite and compassionate but I can't bring myself to be that way. I like being nice and doing nice things for people and I think that I would probably get even less attention if I wasn't that way.

      Omg, I had no idea that rubbing your eyes creates dark circles.

      Thanks for all of the advice. I'll definitely try everything you suggested.

    • Your very welcome - additionally... You don't have to be "Mean" you just have to be not be so "into-the-relationship"... I would post what that meant, but there are 1,000,000,000,000 different meanings for that =)... Is there anything else that I may be able to help with? If not, add me as a friend and I'll try to keep you as up to date as possible, any and all questions ill try to help with

    • ^_^ If this helped you post it as "best answer" that way others can see it right below your question - future generations may be able to benefit from this also. Thanks for your time~


What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 10

  • i used to be an ugly duckling in highschool but the tables have turned...muahahahaha lol.

    just stay positive-improve your looks and what you can work on . and don't be so harsh on yourself. keep your nice personality and maybe read up on certain styles and trends. that is what I do.

    • Thanks for you advice. I would like the tables to turn for me!

  • Okay! First...

    Style: Awesome and it's never to wear Hello Kitty lol. You could wear them with skinny jeans.Wear some of your "fashion" clothes and when you look in the mirror don't think of your flaws or whatever. And 3-5 years is not bad!If you can fit them than that's awesome! A lot of girls which they could do that :D can always get some flats cause they go with everything and are dressy lol I have tons of converses and a could of flats cause I'm not girly so you don't have to have heels!

    Makeup: Buy some magazines for tips for your skin tone. Make up isn't a big thing but that powder stuff sounds weird...maybe you should not try that. Chapstick is ALWAYS good...lip gloss is sticky and can be too glossy!

    Hygiene: Guys don't have to know you don't wash your hair everyday and plus you're not supposed to because it can cause lice! For your pimples you can buy cream for it.

    Hair: Condition it! You don't have to straighten your hair all the time and let your hair out because to much ponytails can pull your hair! You should get your dead ends cut which is only about 20 bucks :D

    Yeah I kinda agree with ArtistBboy about being nice...People called me a push over so I would still be nice but kinda mean...if you get that lol sometimes you have to say no...!

    And btw...I bet there is some guy out there staring at you...but you just keep passing him!

    • I meant's never to OLD to wear Hello Kitty. :D

    • Hmm...I wonder who gave you a down. I appreciate you taking the time to give me so much advice. If I were to wear something dressy I would have to wear heels because flats make my legs look short and fat (even though I'm not even short or fat). I'll try to straighten my hair less but not wearing it in a ponytail will probably be a hard habit for me to break.

      I really doubt that there is some guy staring at me.

      What do you mean by "still be nice but kinda mean"?

    • Being called a push over..they were mean to call me that lol

      But yeah ponytails can pop off your hair...try maybe two ponytails or two buns

      And I think I gave myself a down lol It was an accident.

      And yes I think there is someone out there for everyone...if he's not staring then he's thinking of you. :D

  • i just think you need a little more self confidence. I know you probably won't believe it but your friends are right it it what's inside that counts. I will admit that guys will approach you if they are physically attracted to you but they won't stay with you because of your looks they stay because of your personality.i mean most guys aren't that I hope they are not anyway.

    bout the foundation, why not try mixing different shades together. not every1s skin tone will match. mine doesn't so I mix a lighter and darker shade together to get the right shade. it takes a little longer but its worth it and makes a lot of difference. also add a bit of concealer under the eyes to get rid of the dark circles. but seriously if you try it and it makes you sneeze then you shold stop using it. there's probably something in there that you are allergic to. either try another brand or you can look for one that is made with natural ingredients. It will obviously cost a lot more tho.

    Also if you can, try to get a couple of new clothes that you are comfortable wearing. Maybe a nice top that's not too baggy or too tight and some comfortable jeans, again not too baggy or too tight. And maybe a nice hair cut.

    Trust me if you are comfortable with what you are wearing and how you look it can really build up your self confidence.

    • Overall - great information ^_^ ;; I like it when people stay away from makeup / concealer because sometimes it can actually make a break-out worse! ... I like the information you presented and a valid point with your comment on "self-confidence" ;; it strongly shows when you are approached or your doing the approaching ^_^

    • Thanks for the advice. I will try mixing the foundation. Yeah the mineral powders have more natural ingredients, but I have yet to try them. I'm looking into getting a hair cut but I don't really know what much about what's in style. The confidence's really hard for me. The older I get, the lower my confidence becomes.

  • if you like t-shirts try topshop I love t-shirts and you can get some cute older like desighns like cookie monster and oscar grouch ect also their is a wide range of t-shirts with cute sayings and pics at the mo my fave is the how to make a band t-shirt(its pale blueand not in your face).

    im quite plain so to combat that I have died my hair a brighter/darker shade of my natural colouring . as for make up if you don't get on with powder and foundations try eye make up first just to make them pop.

    skin. my skin is terrible but try the no7 skin care range it has worked wonders for me.

    confidence! that's what you need to boost. then more guys will notice you.

    hey if you want to chat or any advice you can always ask me I no I'm plain but my boyfriend says I'm a cute plain.( I think he means it as a compliment. he likes shy plain girls.)

    • Aww I like the advice you gave me. Very simple.

      Yeah I want to be a "cute plain" (if there is a such thing). But I have one thing to say. If that's you in that picture, then you're so pretty even though you claim to be plain. Me on the other hand, I'm not so pretty and plain. There's a big difference.

    • Its like the one good pic of me

  • First off, I'm sure you don't look as bad as you think-we are our own worst critics!

    Style:Really you do need some new clothes-3-5 year old clothing is very dated by now. You say you don't feel comfortable in more fashion forward clothes so don't wear them! If you feel uncomfortable then you'll look uncomfortable and silly. It's always best to wear clothes that you feel comfortable in because you will be more confident in them. You can buy new clothes, just make sure they are your style and the clothes you are comfortable in! You don't need to look through magazines and then raid the stores for the newest trends. There are clothes for everyone out there! And I don't know how old you are but it doesn't matter anyway because YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD FOR HELLO KITTY! I hate it when people say they are too old for things-noone is ever too old for anything! Especially not hello kitty! It's soo hot! I'm going to buy a hello kitty top now because I had never thought of that until you mentioned it lol. Also piercings don't matter-lots of guys prefer girls with no piercings!

    Make-up:It sounds like you haven't found the right shade to match your skin tone yet, you should go to a make-up counter in a store and the assisstants (sp?) will choose the perfect shade for you. But I think you should stay away from foundation anyway, or use mineral foundation-normal foundation gives spots which is not what you need right now! Guys also prefer the natural look-remember that. Also, just using chapstick is fine. I only use vaseline on my lips! I hardly ever wear lipgloss-just on nights out sometimes.

    Hygiene:You don't need to wash your hair everyday-i never do! The more you wash your hair the more you get rid of the natural oils. Seriously, stop worrying about that-washing your hair everyday isn't something that all girls do! If you don't already start using facial wash, cleanser and toner-i use garnier every morning and it really helps to get rids of spots and to stop them from reappearing. I also use garnier facial wipes everynight and they are the best I've ever used and I see instant results! Dark circles are caused by lack of sleep so try and get at least 8 hours a day.

    Hair: Straightening your hair does damage it and 2 hours is a waste of your time! You need to go to the hairdresser-they will tell you how to style it if you ask them and they will get rid of split ends caused by straightening it. Also, not all guys like poker straight hair!

    Also, I hardly ever get approached by guys either and I have no problems with how I look. Maybe if you become confident enough with how you look you could approach a guy! The best thing to do is smile aswell! You'll look much more approachable! And make eye contact!

    Good luck :)

    • Thanks for the support about Hello Kitty haha.

      Well the 3-5 year old clothes that I have are the exact same as the ones that are less than 1 year old except for the jeans maybe because I have mostly flare and bootcut jeans but I see more girls wearing the skinny jeans lately. You're right, I do feel a lot more comfortable and confident in clothes that are my style (in other words plain), but I feel as though it's not grabbing me enough attention.

    • Show All
    • Flare and bootcut are the best? A few months ago I had a friend tell me that my clothes were out of style (specifically my jeans) and that I should try skinny jeans. So we went to the mall (I hate the mall but it's not so bad when I'm with a friend), and she got me to try on some skinny jeans and I hated the way they looked on me, so we ended up leaving the store empty handed. Okay, just smile when I make eye contact with someone? Okay that makes sense, thanks.

    • Well skinny jeans are in fashion at the moment aswell but I never wear them because they can be really unflattering. Bootcut jeans are always in fashion! They will never go out of fashion ever! And flare sometimes do go out of fashion but not at the moment! Ignore your friend lol.

  • I'd say go to a plato's closet or something and sell most of your old clothes and use the new money to buy new clothes.

    Now, the guy that's right for you isn't going to judge you on your looks. (my boyfriend sure doesn't lol [that picture isn't me, but I do have a picture of me on my profile])

    • Thanks for the advice. I sure hope that one day I too will find someone that doesn't judge me on my looks.

  • wow, ArtistBboy has an awesome answer! honestly, I'd just model someone I admire and try to be like them in dress/personality and it tends to work. good luck!

    ie: I love blair from gossip girl, so I try to model her if I'm not happy about an aspect of my life. ie; I don't like how I dress, so I steal her style

    • Thank you very much ^_^ - That compliment made me smile haha

      Have a wonderful evening and thanks for making my day~


    • I don't really have someone that I admire, but I'll have to start looking. I don't watch Gossip Girl but I looked at some pictures of Blair online and I notice that she wears a lot of dresses (something I could never do).

  • Take really good care of yourself. Put more time and effort into your looks and you will attract new admirers. As you gradually improve your looks and maybe get on a light workout plan (for endorphins and a cute shape) your confidence will probably naturally get higher. When your confidence is higher the way you even carry yourself around guys is going to be much more attractive too!

    • Yeah, I realize that I probably don't put enough time and effort into my looks but just how much time and effort am I supposed to put into it? I kind of like my shape now, I don't have many complaints about my physique, I just don't like my hair, face, skin, and lack of style. How should I carry myself around guys? Sorry about all the questions.

    • It doesn't have to be a high maintanence regime, but you should have some you time especially devoted to yourself. However long it takes you to do basic things like eyebrows, shaving, preparing outfits, etc. is up to you as long as your image looks good and you can maintain it. It depends on your lifestyle and comfort level. If you don't want to spend a lot on your hair you don't have to, maybe just work with natural texture and keep it shiny.

    • Do things like that just as you would brush your teeth or shower. Looking good and well kept takes time but it is noticed and well worth it.

      With guys, just be yourself. Be confident. Everyone has their own unique appeal and when you relax and just let go it will come across.

  • Beauty comes with time

  • try shopping at girly stores. like forever 21 or wet seal. =]

    • Okay thanks. I checked out their website and I like their selection and prices. I'm thinking about purchasing some things from both.

    • Yeah...and gadzooks is a forever 21 store too!

      My fave stores :D