I work in a professional office. One day last summer I wore a dress - it was very professional, but still cute, stylish, and flattering. A guy in the office made me feel really uncomfortable by calling it a "hot dress", making multiple comments, and even trying to drag 3rd parties into it by saying stuff like "doesn't she look hot"?
Obviously he was out of line, but he doesn't work there anymore. I still haven't worn the dress (or anything like it) again because I feel like I'm doing something wrong if I dress in anything I know people might find "sexy", even if it is appropriate.
I also have large breasts which and can have awesome cleavage, but even outside of the office I feel like I'm doing something wrong if I wear anything that shows any amount of cleavage.
In general, I feel like I'm doing something wrong by wearing anything I know men like.
I have a boyfriend, so I think that might be part of it. He'd of course be upset if I wore something completely revealing, but he has no problem with me wearing things just because he thinks they are sexy - like dresses, etc.
It wouldn't be an issue, but I *like* feeling put together, confident, and attractive and a lot of times that's pretty synonymous with "sexy".
Unfortunately, some men assume that when you wear something that's sexy, you are giving them the right to make comments about your body. They also probably think you're taking it as a compliment though, so the comments are usually harmless (unless they're excessive like that guy). If you still look professional and YOU like how you look in what you're wearing then wear it! There's nothing wrong with it if it isn't violating any kind of dress code or just looking inappropriate. Embrace your sexiness :D
It's sad you feel that way. No doubt the guy in your office didn't help things. Examine yourself, did you have a traumatic experience, or experiences that would lead you to feel guilty over feeling sexy, or attractive? Perhaps you wore something that offended your father, who chastised you for it when you were younger? Something along those lines... it is important for a woman to feel sexy, like she is attractive, and you are not allowing yourself to. I do not think this is healthy.
The only reason you view those comments by those men as negative is because you've been taught that you should. When some women have complimented me on the way I dress or on my body, I've bee thankful even if I wasn't attracted to them at all. I definitely would never complain about it.
See there's a big difference in the way men amd women are taught to view the opposite gender. I'm probably going to get downvotes, and people are probably going to dismiss my answwr altogether for mentioning this, but it's cahsed by feminism.
Me and my girlfriend had this conversation a while ago. She does a lot to pkease me, especially cooking. At the start of the relationship she saw it as a bad thing that she did this for me, and yet she enjoyed it at the same time. The thing is it's natural to want to please members of the opposite sex (if you're straight), especially your partners. She'd been told all theway through her life that she shouldn't do these things for a man.
Men aren't taught this way, so they think they're just paying you a nice compliment. You shouldn't feel bad about that, it should feel good.
Wor has its own rules, and fashionable isn't part of them, often. You don't want to attract that kind of attention at work, even if the guys there aren't supposed to notice and may 'no longer work there' if they make an issue of it. Still, you will also be considered to have broken unwritten rules.
Save the cleavage and that dress for after work, as you are doing!
youre really pleasing us guys to want to see it with our own eyes. if you look gorgeous be happy with it. there are people out in world I would get cancer by seeing them. be happy or show us a picture of you clothing and get some nice attention
Immature men and hating ass women try to shame women's sexuality as a way to control them. There is a lot of power in being attractive, but many people try to make you feel guilty for it as a way of controlling your power.
That guy may have just been immature. Acting like he's 13 and never seen a hot girl before. Or he could have had a more sinister reason: He couldn't have you, so let's embarrass you and make you feel uncomfortable for being the hot girl I can't get with. So his mind trick may have worked, thus made you uncomfortable with looking attractive and getting admiration. So you let him control your sexuality
Or the fact that you let your boyfriend control your sexuality by not wanting to look sexy unless it's for him and he says it's ok.
Not only do women have power by being, feeling, and looking sexy, but you have the power of words too. If someone says something you find out of line, you can check them and put them in their place. You're a grown woman and you don't have to feel like you can't look good. You have the right to feel pretty and happy.
Yes its inappropriate to make that kind of comment especially you're in a work environment...it can lead to sexual harassment when he's getting other pl to chip in, to make meaty taunts out of you. This speaks more about him than you. He's being insincere and a bit out of control with his behavior. Guess he hasn't seen a woman that has titillate him for ages or he's just *thinking* too much about it.