do you think its okay to tell someone you like that they are average looking?
A guy who apparently liked me told me that I was average looking. (btw I didn't ask for his opinion he gave it to me) I stopped all contact with him cos I instantly felt that he must be desperate to be speaking to me if he considers me average looking.
would you say that this is a red sign?
sorry red flag lol
I just want to make it clear that being average looking is fine since I am average looking myself but I would NEVER want my S/O to think I was average that's a red flag for me. I shouldn't be seen as 'meh' she's fuckable.
If you like someone and are in love, that person becomes the most beautiful human being to have ever existed in your life. They might not be hot in everyone's eyes but in your eyes they are amazing and you see them for their entire being, not just their looks. Imo yes, it's a red flag. I'd assume he was never that much in love with you if tells you that you are simply average looking for him. Loves makes you fall for every part of the other person, looks included. There will be none of this average business. Everything about you will be beautiful for that person. Of course the kind of love I'm talking about here is that special, intense kind of love that you'd want. I'm not talking about love between two people that just settled for the other out of desperation or because they think they won't find someone else.
Any guy who dates an average looking woman knows she's an average looking woman. It's a bell curve, which means most women fall right in the middle... average... that's just the way it is. Average doesn't mean not beautiful or ugly. Average just means you have facial features and body frame that is the norm for your age and sex. If you look above average, that means that you have a variety of stand out features that guy finds physically attractive. If you look well above average, you have most the features that guy finds physically attractive.
I find the average girl to be physically appealing. I always say "Beautiful women are a dime a dozen" specifically because I find most women to be beautiful. As a straight guy, the female form is a beautiful thing that I find myself inexplicably drawn to. That being said there are certain women who I consider below average and might not be attracted. But that number is BELOW average.
Most guys operate not on a number scale when it comes to attraction, but a pass/fail scale. If a woman is good looking enough, she passes. If she's does have the traits that make her attractive to him, she fails. Once she passes though, it's fair game. She could be "average" or she could be a "bombshell", it all depends on her personality and attitude. I've seen guys all the time pick an "average" girl over the "above average" girl because he liked the average girl more.
A guy can explain that to another guy because guys get it. If you sit two guys down and you put an average girl and a bombshell in front of them, both guys know which one is better looking. If the one guy turned to the other guy and said about the average looking girl "She's the most beautiful girl in the world because I love her and she just looks amazing to me" the other guy would think "he's delusional". If however the guy had said instead "She might not be as good looking as that other girl, but as far as I'm concerned she's amazing and I'd pick to be with her over any other girl in a heartbeat." the other guy would completely understand where he's coming from. The first thing the guy said is what a woman wants to here. The second thing the guy said is how most guys explain it to other guys when their women aren't around.
That being said, I would never tell a girl I thought she was average because I'm not an idiot.
Most women (just like most men) are average-looking. The difference is that most men are genuinely happy with average women, whereas (as your inference of his thoughts implies) most women are not genuinely happy with average men.
So, no, it wasn't a red flag. But if he takes you back, THAT is a red flag, because he would have to be desperate to take back a girl who's cut him off like that.
Well not everyone is above average so it is kind of an accidental stab at possibly average looking people and there is an insinuation that you know you are better looking than most. I am not sure I see a problem with that but some may. I think you're a cool chick so don't shoot the messenger :). to get to the point I must say that guy is a supreme moron. If he wanted to date you or make any effort to sack you then telling you that you are average was not the proper way to go about courting you. I think you are lucky that he stated his idiocy so early on. I also think that it is necessary to be somewhat attracted to the person you want to be with. Very strange question deriving from a very stupid guy. He should take a class in courting.
Um yeah I see a problem. I love how everyone on here has tried to justify his behaviour. What an odd thing to say?! Massive red flag! You did the right thing in staying away. I mean even if you find a stranger average looking, would you go up to them and say that? NO why? Because it is rude and hurtful. To say it someone you're potentially looking at as a future date? WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD.
I don't see anything wrong with you taking offense to what he said.
No wonder the guys on here struggle to 'attract' women, they don't know the first thing about speaking to a man.
Yes, most girls and guys are average. There are many who fall above and below the average line, but average is average for a reason.
You didn't ask him for his opinion, he randomly gave it to you. It comes across as him saying that he's settling.
No where in the text did you mention that you asked him or that you think a man should think the girl he *likes* is the most beautiful woman ever. But what type of guy really thinks he's gonna get the girl that he calls average (to her face)?
I think it's very rude to say so, specially if that opinion wasn't asked for. Is he freaking Adonis to go and tell people they're average? Even if he was most handsome man in the world, that's no way to tell a girl how she looks.
If anything, he could have simply said what he does like about your looks, or very politely said what he thinks IF you had asked him in the first place.