Guys have you told someone you fancy that their average looking?

do you think its okay to tell someone you like that they are average looking?

A guy who apparently liked me told me that I was average looking. (btw I didn't ask for his opinion he gave it to me) I stopped all contact with him cos I instantly felt that he must be desperate to be speaking to me if he considers me average looking.

would you say that this is a red sign?

sorry red flag lol
I just want to make it clear that being average looking is fine since I am average looking myself but I would NEVER want my S/O to think I was average that's a red flag for me. I shouldn't be seen as 'meh' she's fuckable.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you like someone and are in love, that person becomes the most beautiful human being to have ever existed in your life. They might not be hot in everyone's eyes but in your eyes they are amazing and you see them for their entire being, not just their looks. Imo yes, it's a red flag. I'd assume he was never that much in love with you if tells you that you are simply average looking for him. Loves makes you fall for every part of the other person, looks included. There will be none of this average business. Everything about you will be beautiful for that person. Of course the kind of love I'm talking about here is that special, intense kind of love that you'd want. I'm not talking about love between two people that just settled for the other out of desperation or because they think they won't find someone else.

    • We're talking about LOOKS though, not any other kind of beauty. Men can't win, really. If we want only the hot girls, we're shallow and entitled. If we're happy to date girls we don't consider hot, we're desperate and entitled. It's just such arrogance and entitlement on the part of women who think this way.

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    • Ugh you really are not getting what I'm saying. "You don't need to consider someone to be above-average-looking in order to be in love with them" ... When you fall for someone they ARE above average to you. They are beautiful to you. How many times must I repeat myself. People who are in love with others think their partners are amazing, beautiful, stunning etc. etc. Go ask any of my friends who are in relationships and they'll tell you their partners are the hottest people in their life.

    • and that for them they are beautiful to them. All you need is that little bit of chemistry and love happens. Whether you are in your eyes average or not, chemistry/love comes and makes you beautiful to the other person. I would never settle for someone who just thinks I'm average and anyone who does are selling themselves short. Somewhere someone will find you beautiful and no one deserves a partner who doesn't think they are beautiful. That must be awful.

What Guys Said 7

  • Any guy who dates an average looking woman knows she's an average looking woman. It's a bell curve, which means most women fall right in the middle... average... that's just the way it is. Average doesn't mean not beautiful or ugly. Average just means you have facial features and body frame that is the norm for your age and sex. If you look above average, that means that you have a variety of stand out features that guy finds physically attractive. If you look well above average, you have most the features that guy finds physically attractive.

    I find the average girl to be physically appealing. I always say "Beautiful women are a dime a dozen" specifically because I find most women to be beautiful. As a straight guy, the female form is a beautiful thing that I find myself inexplicably drawn to. That being said there are certain women who I consider below average and might not be attracted. But that number is BELOW average.

    Most guys operate not on a number scale when it comes to attraction, but a pass/fail scale. If a woman is good looking enough, she passes. If she's does have the traits that make her attractive to him, she fails. Once she passes though, it's fair game. She could be "average" or she could be a "bombshell", it all depends on her personality and attitude. I've seen guys all the time pick an "average" girl over the "above average" girl because he liked the average girl more.

    A guy can explain that to another guy because guys get it. If you sit two guys down and you put an average girl and a bombshell in front of them, both guys know which one is better looking. If the one guy turned to the other guy and said about the average looking girl "She's the most beautiful girl in the world because I love her and she just looks amazing to me" the other guy would think "he's delusional". If however the guy had said instead "She might not be as good looking as that other girl, but as far as I'm concerned she's amazing and I'd pick to be with her over any other girl in a heartbeat." the other guy would completely understand where he's coming from. The first thing the guy said is what a woman wants to here. The second thing the guy said is how most guys explain it to other guys when their women aren't around.

    That being said, I would never tell a girl I thought she was average because I'm not an idiot.

  • I haven't told them that because I know they would get upset, but honestly I think the average girl is pretty.

  • Most women (just like most men) are average-looking. The difference is that most men are genuinely happy with average women, whereas (as your inference of his thoughts implies) most women are not genuinely happy with average men.

    So, no, it wasn't a red flag. But if he takes you back, THAT is a red flag, because he would have to be desperate to take back a girl who's cut him off like that.

    • And no I've never said that, but that's because I know that women like being lied to. If a woman told me I was the hottest guy in the world, I would laugh and not accept it, because it's a ridiculous thing to say. But if I say to my girlfriend that she's the hottest girl in the world, she'll buy it. She doesn't just appreciate the fact that I want to make her happy. She actually believes it to be true or at least believes that I believe it.

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    • Most of us would prefer to be above-average in looks. But, you have to recognize and accept reality. If someone considers me average, yes indeed I want to be called average.

    • by the way the guy who said this to me is average looking maybe so no i dont have anything against average looking men.

  • This is why girls get lied to so often - because some girls just can't handle the truth.

    • i wish this question generates a lot of views from the girls on here its very educational I must say.

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    • "wow you seem to think you know me."

      No, I never claimed to. But I think I showed, using your own words quoted in context, how you think about yourself.

    • great observation you have a keen eye I stood up and clapped for u.

  • Well not everyone is above average so it is kind of an accidental stab at possibly average looking people and there is an insinuation that you know you are better looking than most. I am not sure I see a problem with that but some may. I think you're a cool chick so don't shoot the messenger :). to get to the point I must say that guy is a supreme moron. If he wanted to date you or make any effort to sack you then telling you that you are average was not the proper way to go about courting you. I think you are lucky that he stated his idiocy so early on. I also think that it is necessary to be somewhat attracted to the person you want to be with. Very strange question deriving from a very stupid guy. He should take a class in courting.

    • I don't think I am better looking than most trust me but I cannot understand why a guy would be into me if he perceives me as average.

      and yes he doesn't know anything about courting and I am glad I stopped talking to him because I will be reminded of those words everytime I am conversing.

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    • judging by how guys have answered this question I will have a hard time trusting men now.

    • Well I would like to discuss this further with you and not on here. I can change the angle of your thoughts in a way that is realistic and comforting at the same time.

  • I just have one question for you

    Are you going to assume from now on that all guys are desperate if they go for you?

    • I have had mixed reviews about my looks. Some people thought I was very good looking, others thought I was average and others thought I was ugly as fuck. So if a guy perceived me as average then yes I would think he was desperate to be chasing me.

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    • look into that mirror and love yourself and never accept anyone that you are average or below average looking.

    • i meant never accept anyone that thinks your average or below average. lol

  • I don't see a problem with liking someone with average looks. I have before.

    • average looks are fine but how can you perceive someonee as being average if you are attracted to them.

What Girls Said 3

  • Um yeah I see a problem. I love how everyone on here has tried to justify his behaviour. What an odd thing to say?! Massive red flag! You did the right thing in staying away. I mean even if you find a stranger average looking, would you go up to them and say that? NO why? Because it is rude and hurtful. To say it someone you're potentially looking at as a future date? WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD.

    • No wonder guys on here have to come on here about advice for dating, if they think that is OK behaviour.

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    • Yawn, wow your girlfriend is lucky. You must be a right barrel of laughs to be around. So not only does she have a guy that is average looking and calls her average looking, she also has a bore. Done with this conversation thanks. Bye.

    • @jam66 you are on point I am surprised this guy even managed to have a girlfriend lol

  • I don't see anything wrong with you taking offense to what he said.

    No wonder the guys on here struggle to 'attract' women, they don't know the first thing about speaking to a man.

    Yes, most girls and guys are average. There are many who fall above and below the average line, but average is average for a reason.

    You didn't ask him for his opinion, he randomly gave it to you. It comes across as him saying that he's settling.

    No where in the text did you mention that you asked him or that you think a man should think the girl he *likes* is the most beautiful woman ever. But what type of guy really thinks he's gonna get the girl that he calls average (to her face)?

  • I think it's very rude to say so, specially if that opinion wasn't asked for. Is he freaking Adonis to go and tell people they're average? Even if he was most handsome man in the world, that's no way to tell a girl how she looks.

    If anything, he could have simply said what he does like about your looks, or very politely said what he thinks IF you had asked him in the first place.