Im constantly picking myself apart, help?

I am constantly picking apart every part of my appearance and personality and I just find stuff wrong with everything about me. Even when people tell me the opposite I just don't believe them. This lack of self confidence makes me shy as well and I have trouble getting guys to know/like me because of that but I don't want to be shy. I want to be that girl that everyone likes and wants to get to know. Also, I feel like I'm caught up in all the ideas of who I could be but I don't really know who I am... If that makes any sense, thanks in advance for any advice


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've always been shy too. I've lacked self confidence most of my life. what helped me was my job. right out of high school in a small retail store. I had to interact with all sorts of people and i mostly just grew out of it. I think most people grow out of it with age at least somewhat. I happen to like shy girls so thats not totally bad. If you want, message me a pic and a little about yourself and ill tell you what i think about you. Ill be honest, im sure there's tons of things about you that are wonderful. Maybe it will give you a little ego boost.

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What Guys Said 2

  • A professor once told the class this story: A graduate student (science) was about to start using an electron microscope to study some slides. He started by taking a brand new slide, just out of the box, and put that on the mount, so he could calibrate the microscope. He looked through the lens and thought something was wrong, because he saw all these little marks and stuff on the BRAND NEW slide. He asked the professor about it who said: "EVERYTHING LOOKS BAD UNDER 50,000 POWER."

    If you put yourself under a microscope, you're not going to see yourself the way you really are, because you're not focusing on the whole person that you are. Think about all the famous models and movie actresses who have what some people might consider to be "flaws." They are all beautiful women, and widely regarded as such.

    At your age, it's also not unusual to have sort of an identity crisis about who you are. But at the same time, you know deep down when you really feel strongly about some thing, or someone. You do, right? THat's the deeper, real you. It's there. It's always been there, and always will be there. Something, or someone, that can make you cry, laugh, get goose bumps? Those things are touching the real you.

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  • It makes total sense... I'm the same way. If something happens i always find a way to make it my fault. Either my personality or physically. I don't know why I do it, but I overcome it every day. And you can too. You just need to start believing in yourself and being confident. You can do it. :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • Are you my twin? lol I feel the same way but honestly you need to find things that you like about your self and expand on it. I love my eyes, so I wear make up that makes my eyes stand out and then that makes me feel better and makes me believe people when they say I am beautiful or what not. Look up self help books as well, they help a lot. I hope this has helped you. :)

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