I’m 21 and recently graduated from college and then landed a job but I’m one of the very few lads among my friends who hasn't had a girlfriend.
Girls simply aren't attracted to me. I haven’t got good facial features, I’m as skinny as a stick, even though I eat a lot. I haven’t filled out like everyone else, but I’m over 5'9 or 5'10 so it looks really bad.
where ever i go no girl looks and smiles at me, i'm a shy type so i don't usually initiate the conversation first... Dude like I'm so awkward and ugly looking, I've never had a girlfriend. girls don't like me and I don't blame them. Not having a girlfriend at my age made me less of a person, i feel like a total loser in my entire life...i know i'm picky when it comes to girls.i really like the pretty ones and it is always been a fantasy for me. Before i'm a smiling person but later on i stopped it because i think that even if i wear my greatest smile no one will ever like me so whats the point on smiling other people. I slouched a lot and embarrassed to take my shirt off if i were to go to swimming until there such a time i got an awkward situation where i see couples all around me and started to think that "you will be single in your entire life". I really have some self esteem problem here and i wish i don't exist anymore...help me guys...
Most Helpful Guy
Girls are generally less concerned with a guy's looks compared to men. For guys (as demonstrated by you), physical attractiveness often ranks as #1. If a girl is hot, the guy will start chasing her. It is only AFTER he has established she is attractive - that other factors such as humor, intelligence, compatibility...etc...will play a role.
That being said, what is it that attracts a girl?
Let's assume you look perfectly fine, and that appearances are not a factor for you.
Can you think of another reason why a girl would not be attracted to you? I'll give you a hint, and your message explains it all.
The basic social norms still hold true. While girls want equality, the basic natural instinct of wanting a man to protect them will ALWAYS hold true. That means women search for men who are good decision makers, and who are more confident than them, and able to protect them (I don't mean physically).
You obviously have developed a low self esteem from the lack of a girlfriend. It shows in your message. But it has also developed something known as the "self-fulfilling prophecy". You expect to be rejected so much, that when you approach a girl to ask her out, you sound defeated to her. She will immediately sense this as a sign of low confidence and self esteem.
I would say THAT is what prevents you from getting a girlfriend. It is NOT your appearance, but your mannerism and lack of confidence.
While you are assuming that you're the ugliest SOB on the planet, I can point to much uglier, fatter, dumber men than you. The difference is that, despite their ugliness and lack of intelligence, they THINK they're the shit and that they're the best thing since toilet paper. A girl will find that quality attractive, and that is what you need to work on.2
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