Help!!! I feel ugly because I'm too skinny- and no clothing looks good on me?

I’m 21 and recently graduated from college and then landed a job but I’m one of the very few lads among my friends who hasn't had a girlfriend.

Girls simply aren't attracted to me. I haven’t got good facial features, I’m as skinny as a stick, even though I eat a lot. I haven’t filled out like everyone else, but I’m over 5'9 or 5'10 so it looks really bad.

where ever i go no girl looks and smiles at me, i'm a shy type so i don't usually initiate the conversation first... Dude like I'm so awkward and ugly looking, I've never had a girlfriend. girls don't like me and I don't blame them. Not having a girlfriend at my age made me less of a person, i feel like a total loser in my entire life...i know i'm picky when it comes to girls.i really like the pretty ones and it is always been a fantasy for me. Before i'm a smiling person but later on i stopped it because i think that even if i wear my greatest smile no one will ever like me so whats the point on smiling other people. I slouched a lot and embarrassed to take my shirt off if i were to go to swimming until there such a time i got an awkward situation where i see couples all around me and started to think that "you will be single in your entire life". I really have some self esteem problem here and i wish i don't exist anymore...help me guys...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls are generally less concerned with a guy's looks compared to men. For guys (as demonstrated by you), physical attractiveness often ranks as #1. If a girl is hot, the guy will start chasing her. It is only AFTER he has established she is attractive - that other factors such as humor, intelligence, compatibility...etc...will play a role.

    That being said, what is it that attracts a girl?
    Let's assume you look perfectly fine, and that appearances are not a factor for you.

    Can you think of another reason why a girl would not be attracted to you? I'll give you a hint, and your message explains it all.

    The basic social norms still hold true. While girls want equality, the basic natural instinct of wanting a man to protect them will ALWAYS hold true. That means women search for men who are good decision makers, and who are more confident than them, and able to protect them (I don't mean physically).

    You obviously have developed a low self esteem from the lack of a girlfriend. It shows in your message. But it has also developed something known as the "self-fulfilling prophecy". You expect to be rejected so much, that when you approach a girl to ask her out, you sound defeated to her. She will immediately sense this as a sign of low confidence and self esteem.

    I would say THAT is what prevents you from getting a girlfriend. It is NOT your appearance, but your mannerism and lack of confidence.

    While you are assuming that you're the ugliest SOB on the planet, I can point to much uglier, fatter, dumber men than you. The difference is that, despite their ugliness and lack of intelligence, they THINK they're the shit and that they're the best thing since toilet paper. A girl will find that quality attractive, and that is what you need to work on.

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    • ok thanks for the comment you are right i developed low self esteem for not having a gf...its just i'm too shy to approach and talk to girls...how would i improve myself? i only ask a girl twice in my whole life, should i fake myself in order to gain confidence?

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    • very true i always think that i'm out of their league and always assume that they will never like me and have liked someone else

    • I love that last paragraph

What Girls Said 9

  • aw I'm sorry to hear you feel like that.
    Have you tried increasing your protein intake and working out? E.g. weights?
    You probably can't get "buff" and big, but you could definitely build up some nice lean muscle.
    I actually prefer lean guys over larger guys.
    I'd never had a boyfriend by your age either! I've only ever had one, and that wasn't until I was 24! There is nothing wrong with not having been in a relationship before! I meet lots of people in their 20's who havn't yet been in relationships.
    Please don't lose hope, you sound so lovely and sincere!
    And is that you in your profile picture? because if it is, you're a pretty good looking dude! :)

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    • thank you about the compliment but you are the 1st person who told me i'm pretty looking, is my profile picture blurred? i was wearing my national costume prior to my graduation

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    • But I've been able to message people before and vice versa, when we are not following one another. My profile certainly isn't set as private.

    • I'm following you now

  • I know one look that looks great on skinny guys. You should go for the skater look.

    But of course you can trim it down some and make it your own.

    I would recommend skinny jeans, some with the wholes in it, T's, maybe a beanie but that might be pushing it lol. I would recommend a lot of black and white red or any color you like. Oh and sneakers or high tops.

    I hope this helps, but despite all of the stuff I said don't down yourself its nothing wrong with being skinny many people would kill to be your size.

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    • yeah i know its just i'm confident about myself...well thanks for the advice, is that u in your profile picture? if it is let me tell you this you are so hot

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    • Well don't because I'm not

  • Try steroids.
    Not a joke. Just for a couple months and get a personal trainer. Then with the correct diet, supplements, and exercise, you may be able to keep the muscle mass. You have that type of look where if you bulked up and got a hair cut, more of a faux hawky type... but still short...basically have your hair stylist trim the sides and back.

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    • dont try steroids. just work out.

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    • well no...it depends on the person and how much self control they have... all those hormones can make you feel invincible...in a bad way.

    • yeah that is like a viagra sort of invincibility that he have

  • To be honest, I don't mind if guys are really skinny or not. Besides, I think someones personality is much more important than his looks.
    Oh and, nothing is wrong with smiling, I rather smile back at people than smile at people that doesn't smile at all :)

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  • Do a protein diet, it'll help you bulk up along with regular exercise to build muscle and tone your body. try styling your hair. Most of all try be confident, it is really key, be nice and confident, you'll be able to get the perfect girl for you.

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    • thank you for your time commenting me, i hope i can meet the girl for me, i feel like i'm forever single

  • ergh you are definitely not ugly!!! Its your self esteem and shyness that stops you. The sooner you realize this the better so start working on it. Good luck!!

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    • you sure about that? maybe you find my picture blurry

    • Dude your picture is fine she is right its your self esteem and shyness that is stopping you not your looks they ain't all that matter.

    • i'm so helpless i don't know where to start

  • It think this is more of a self-esteem issue than more of an physical appearance problem and maybe you need to less your standards or become more confident..confidence can take a person a long way

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  • Hey, umm im sorry im too lazy to read all of this, but ill answer ur question,
    Go to the gym, :)

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  • Grow a fringe.

    Go to Gym to get some toning. Are you philippino?

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    • yeah why?

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    • You can always do push ups anywhere. It's 'free'.

    • yeah i did but i do get stronger but i dont get big

What Guys Said 8

  • Going to the gym will not necessarily make you huge. I can tell that you're an ectomorph (Your body type), your body burns calories faster than anyone commenting on this post. Your metabolism is like a race horse and there is nothing you can do to stop it, all I can recommend doing is just EAT CONSTANTLY, even when you don't feel like eating. If you are going to go to the gym you have to do specific workouts for your body type. Doing the same workout as the huge 180 pound guy won't work for you. Do your research on this and just start to eat, workout, eat, workout, eat, (Keep in mind you need to rest but I think you get the point). Goodluck and remember that you can always push yourself, not to make yourself more attractive to other people but to yourself.

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    • yeah even if i don't lift a finger my body burns fast like hell, every time i eat with my friends when we got a chance to see each other my friends always wonder u eat a ton but not getting any fats unlike them i'm the only one who stay slim even after graduating

    • I'm the same way man, no worries. I probably weigh way less than you. The day will come when your friends are jealous that you have no fat and can eat whatever you want (Happens around the time they get kids and they don't have time to workout, so I hear.

    • yeah i learned that the person's metabolism slows as he/she age some say when i get married thats the time i get bigger than before

  • you need to brighten up dude your clothing ain't bringing you down its your attitude people can sense that sort of stuff it gives off an aura if you will.

    You need to wear what is comfortable to you and wear what you actually like not what other people like if your not comfortable being yourself then how can others ever be comfortable around you or even like you for who you are.

    If you want to get bigger go to a gym here is a tip sets of small reps and heavy weight build muscle sets of large reps with light weight tones your muscles and sets of medium reps and medium weight does a little of both. Remember have a strong and proper form it will build more muscle then simple lugging heavy weights around.

    Also my friend you ain't ugly and when you think you are and you actually start to believe it, it will drive women away be confident in yourself and your abilities.

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    • there are few things where a woman wants you it is either you are good looking and have a bank account like bill gates anyway i'll just improve myself and won't bother my issues, and u said i'm not ugly thank you but if i'm not ugly why not even a single girl like me?

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    • nevermind dude hehe

  • Stand better and get damn clothes that fit.

    Thankfully a fair number of women consider tall and slim ideal.

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    • I'll mention a few things...

      If you've never tried lifting, go ahead, lift, and crank your food intake. If you're not gaining fat or muscle, you're not eating enough for your metabolism, period.

      If like me you're blessed with the ability to gain fat but not muscle, its... not likely happening easily.

      In my case it probably helped me mentally that I took up boxing, where being long and thin can be used as an advantage. It helps you stop thinking of yourself as 'skinny' and instead see yourself as long and lean. Most people are just fat.

    • before i always prefer to be fat rather than to be skinny, i eat fairly but not a lot, i'm not in a well off family so i dont really eat what i want i really eat what is available, but i h8 to think other people think that i'm anorexic and eat once a day, thanks for the advice

    • i did an arnis when i was in highschool and a little bit of karate when i was in elementary but i do get stronger but i believe because of the sweaty activities of it i never get fat

  • oh, u should go hit the gym and bunch up with ur buddies and go to bars and just lose it, also going to strip clubs might help, you pay them to like you lmao

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    • paying them to like me is no challenge

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    • yes, but with money only... if u just want their bodies of course *wicked grin*

    • nah i don't want to use them for my satisfaction, i want someone who will love me of course

  • Eat more, work out, you'll be more confident.

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  • Hmm maybe workout bro? I don't know you seem fine to me but then again I am not a chick ha

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    • you only saw my face hehe workout is the only solution

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    • ok dude thanks for the info

    • No problem bro^_^ Altho only start gymming if you wanna do it for yourself. If you go in there to get your points up in chicks books. You won't last longer and hell dude you seem fine ha, For them you dont even need it. Just up your game or something lol

  • Most skinny dudes say they eat a lot, but they actually don't eat enough. The simple answer is to eat more and to exercise/lift weights. Don't make excuses like a pussy.

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    • not making excuses either you know i'm not from a well off family and easy for you to say because you can buy food what you want i can only eat whats available and it is not plenty our food is budgeted for daily consumption and won't have extra for me and my family won't be able to eat something in the future

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    • My phone is annoying, let's try that again. Maybe try looking on YouTube or google for a cheap bulking diet?

    • maybe i do have researched about it anyway i will eat at my very best to get myself stuffed a bit

  • go to the gym and eat more. Look up how to bulk. You need to eat a lot more protein and carbs and workout at least 3 times a week. Only do cardio as a warmup otherwise you will lose to many calories. Also girls are more interested in personality than looks. Just fake confidence until you become confident. Check out simplepickup on YouTube helped me a lot

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    • i've probably seen that one on YouTube but me and them are at a different level

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