I wonder when is it ok for guys to ask a girl for money? and at what point should a girl worry about being used? Times are hard right now and everybody needs help. I just broke up with this guy because he asked me for gas money two weeks in a row. He says he wasn't trying to use but that they cut hours and he just needs help right now. I don't know if I believed that since I paid for dinner and he tells me he doesn't have time for a girlfriend.
Ok, well I had a friend a while back who would ask girls for money no problem, he wasn't good at holding down a job as quick as he didn't get along with someone he quit... He just got out of jail and now his "girlfriend" is going to put him on her CELL PHONE PLAN... He's done this before and has very little intention of ever paying back.
Now, your situation... This guy quite possibly could be a user. It's fairly likely it is... many people say oh they cut my hours blah blah but even though things are tight and we're in a recession there are still plenty of places hiring! Coulda, shoulda, would have whatever... If you were going out with him for a while and you know he's usually good about money eventually relationships become a compromise so sometimes maybe you'll buy dinner and sometimes he'll buy etc. If you go on a long road trip maybe you fill one tank and he'll fill the other... The key word is a compromise... if you're giving all the money then its not a compromise...
It's likely you did the right thing by breakin it off with this guy... especially if you guys are newly in a relationship because you won't know what his spending habits are, or even if that money is going to gas...
Traditionally guys buy dinner and pay pretty much for most things in a relationship, at least for the start. obviously times have changed and are still changing so its up to you to know how much you're willing to give. generally 50% from each party is the norm... since it seems like you've been giving 100% you may wanna reconsider this guy
Maybe if you were close friends, and certainly not that often. He sounds like a using-ass douche bag to me. The guy can't even look out for his own finances- enough to pay for gas and food?! I can maybe see sharing some expenses if things got serious- but gas money?! REALLY?!
I wouldn't ask for money unless knew the person for a least year...But like you pointed out times are hard right now I don't think asking for gas money is asking to much he can't help if his hours got cut..Maybe he asked everyone else and they can't afford too?
Continuing on Shlei3 answer there, I must say, if he shows some effort to sort of paying you back, maybe by washing your dishes, giving you more back rub etc., then, there is a chance that he is genuinely in a pinch. If he is not doing any extra effort then I would lean towards thinking that he is trying to mooch off of you.
I think it depends on how long you've been in the relationship and how close the two of you are. I wouldn't have a problem helping out the person I loved, but if it was clear that he was just mooching (doesn't have a job, makes no effort to make ends meet on is own) I would let him go. You can usually tell the difference between someone having a hard time and someone who is just looking for a hand out.
Here's the way I see it, if someone wants me to lend them out money I would have some criteria before doing so;
-If I have known them long and know that they will pay me back
-If they they are good at paying me back even in another form (i.e. making dinner)
Essentially, I give people a chance to prove they are worth lending out money too. Yes times are tough but that means you have to look out for yourself above others. If this guy let you pay for dinner and gas without repaying you back in one form or another than it's clear he's not worth it. I don't think this particular guy is worth it and I think you made the right move.
If you are in a relationship for awhile it is okay to borrow money from the other person in reasonable amounts. If you are just dating, it isn't. Gas money could be okay if the other person is doing all the driving and it is only a couple of bucks, not a full tank. If he doesn't want you as his girlfriend he doesn't have any business asking you for money, point blank. If his hours got cut back he should have plenty of extra time for a girlfriend, thus he is a bullsh*tter. I refuse to pull anyone's weight or expect anyone to pull mine. Some people are just freeloaders though. He sounds like one of them. In the words of my 85 year old Italian grandmother, Good riddens to bad rubbish!
I know you meant well. But he never had the intention of helping you when you needed it
Just from the way that it is written, it seems as if he does not know you well enough to gain your trust. It is like being on a probation period for thirty days... Although we are in recession, the thought of him asking over and over makes me wonder if he had any dignity.
He is so not serious. How does he figure that he can receive money from you in desperation? Then in the next moment, he doesn't have time for a girl friend.
I'd say at least a year and it'd have to be a pretty serious relationship.
Why is he asking you anyways? Especially twice in a row? Can't he ask a friend or relative? Even if he isn't there just for the money, he still shouldn't be asking for it. It sounds weird to me. I have never had a guy ask me for money.