Is my boyfriend playing mind games?

my boyfriend of 3yrs split up with me over a week ago,said he still loved me etc but needed a break but cause I didn't want to have a break he split up-said it was for the best we both was so upset an couldn't eat for days an stuff I begged but didn't work obviously I realized how stupid I was to beg. so I cut contact and now ain't spoke to him for just over a week I'm doing well! no texts off him either though. he used to have Facebook but deleted it cause he hated it and didn't know how to use it. so I was just waitin for the day he got it back after we split up. week later he gets it back an changes his relationship status to single :( so both of ours are now "single". few days later he comes on an hides the relationship status so no one can see it. I went to do the same but thought no why should i, I'm single so why hide it- he probs wants me to do the same so I kept it up. anyway the next day he comes on an then bit later I noticed he'd put it back up single again so everyone can see!so I hid mine then he hid his again! ARH! what's he playing at? don't know whether he's got Facebook to discreetly check up on me too haha cause he now I'm always on it anyway...please help?

 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • *grins* I think your playing the mind games. Most guys just don't think like you describe. We don't go about changing our FB profile to mess with our ex's. Even ones where on a break with.

    He's probably just not sure what status he should be posting. He's probably, like he said, honestly not sure and needs a break but is unsure wether to post a single status (after all, he doesn't know he wants to move on but knows he wants to meet other women).

    He's young and I would guess your his first or only serious relationship and he's reaching the cold feet stage of the relationship.

    If your into him in a big way... just set your status to something other than single and wait him out. If your getting over him, just live your life and move on.

    • So an update on me and my boyfriend...we didn't speak that much really when we have done he's interigated me about have I met other people etc. he's noticed I go out loads more now an is gettin a bit jealous an stuff! can't have me on Facebook cause it upsets him too much! so he's now added an deleted me twice! anyway this weeks he's told me thers a future with us 2,but wish he cud fast forward time to 5 years an be with me properly then,he says he won't get with anyone else.....

    • Sounds great. It gives everything the chance to work out, and if it doesn't you know it was not because it didn't have the chance ^_^. :)

    • Yehh,agreed too! haha,its only been just over a week for me so early days really! and if its space that he wanted in the first place, I'm givin it to him so hopefully he can think things through an see what he really wants. if come 1-2months time ish and there's been nothin then ill be able to accept it more and move on. But I know we love each other so this may do us good and if we do get back...and be stronger together, knowing what we did wrong.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He can only play mind games if you allow him to do so. Cut him off, leave him alone, be single. He will not come back, has no reason to come back, until you break up first, really and truly.

    • How does he learn this? Crying/whining/pouting? You've tried that, you've failed. What's left? Suck it up and stay, or pack up and go. Once he learns that he can have you or his dumb-*ss mind games, but not both, then, and ONLY then, does he change. Let him think he can have both, and he will--at your expense.

    • I see what you're saying, and I agree with you,

      BUT, unless you want to live with the relationship as it is, right now, mind games and all, you HAVE to break up, for real. Otherwise, he has no reason to change.

      Think about it. He thinks his behavior is acceptable--it's why he acts that way. He'll change is if he learns his behavior is UNacceptable.

    • Yeah ok id accept it but I stil know there is hope...i just believe there is and at the end of the day my fault if I find out its really not gonna work but I WANT it to work and I'll try my best to try make it work. I love him an I know he loves me,im not just walking away that easily.

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  • Facebook is the anti-christ. I dated a girl for 4 years. She broke up with me, yet kept her status as "in a relationship" for a month after we broke up. Then all the sudden one day she posted "single" and ever since she's been posting pics of her partying and getting drunk with her stupid friends and other guys, etc. I still love her so much to this very minute, and she doesn't even seem to care. I feel your pain, it's an awful thing. He wants you to come running back. She wanted me to chase her, I didn't, and I actually moved away. It's made things easy and difficult at the same time. One way to gauge a reaction is to de-friend him.

    • I know Facebook causes many arguments over nothing! I've realised that. I am holding myself from running back to him because at the end of the day he told me he's ended it,he told me we shouldnt be together - so why would he expect me to run back .. again!? ha,its up to him now theballs in his court. just hope hehas the balls to come back if he thinks its right. oh I'm tempted to de-friend him but scared incase he's like FINE not bothered type of thing :(? would it realllly cause a big reaction.

What Girls Said 1

  • Holy cow, I'm going through the same thing, exactly! My logic is (now I don't know your situation, just an option) he is on Facebook to check up on you. He is doing whatever he needs to do to get over the relationship, but that doesn't mean he has moved on. Now, you checked up on him so he is probably doing the same. Its hard to let someone go, by pulling away from them completely. Take it as it is, its just Facebook. Be thankful that he cared enough to voice his Facebook issues to you, that means its really getting to him. It's not easy, but at least he is on the computer thinking of you, rather then in some other girls bed... If he is playing games, your playing with him by responding to him.

    • Yeh I understand were your comin from I'm just stuck on what's the best option in my situation- deletin him or whatever,its hard to actually do it so I don't know if I can. ARHH

    • One day at a time. try not to make expectations, because if you, do you may be setting yourself for disappointment if you don't get the reaction you want/expected. I know the first bit is hard but this is about YOU now. If you don't wanna play games with him, then deactivate the account... Its only Facebook. If you take yourself out of the situation he may wonder more, or he will move on. That step is up to you. You can always come back to FB... But know that he is thinking of you regardless...

    • Yeahhh I totally agree with you haha! He knows that I'm always on Facebook so instead of having to text he's come back on it to check up over that discreetly. But I've realised this and I'm not writing an status' about what I've been doing etc to keep him guessin or wondering. so he's not benefiting from viewing it really. I miss him so much its been the longest week ever not contacting him. Just hope he finally realises we should be together again!

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