Do girls really want nice guys?
You say you do, but you certainly don't practice what you preach, at least most of you.
Most Helpful Opinion
One thing so-called badboys do that so-called nice guys don't is MAKE MOVES AND TAKE RISKS! I've spent entire evenings wondering if I'm EVER gonna get kissed by the nice guy and entire evenings wondering how the badboy managed to get his tongue in my mouth so quickly when I didn't want him to at all ever!
I'm not saying nice guys should stick their tongue down women's throats more often, but if you like her and you feel like she's giving you signs she likes you back, stop hinting around and giving her little signs you like her - she probably gets that and wonders if you are ever gonna do anything about it, and eventually that gets old and irritating with even the most patient woman so MAKE YOUR MOVE!
Another thing the socalled badboys do that the nice guys don't: If they are reasonably sure they are gonna get rejected they either do something really bold or they move on to someone who will not reject them, but they assess this fairly quickly while the nice guys are still trying to read mixed messages and worrying about rejection.
Here's another thing the so-called badboys do that the nice guys don't - and admittedly, it's based on a lot of arrogance that I don't WANT nice guys to have: When they get rejected, they don't dwell on it or take it personally, they think the woman is a fool for rejecting god's gift to her! DORKS! Haha! But there is something to be learned if you can manage to not dwell on it and not take it personally and just move on to someone else who will be more receptive to you.
So to sum it up, be a nice guy, be a knight in shining armor, sweep us off our feet and capture our heart with kindness, humor and spirit - we want that and we fall head over heels for it like you would not believe. Make that move - we want you to! But without being a douchebag badboy... And without acting like an idiot after we've had sex.
I think a lot of what decides if you are a nice guy or a douchebag is how you act after you've been intimate. This is when women decide if you are just using them, if you are gonna be clingy/needy/high maintenance, if you are gonna judge them or if you are gonna put them at ease and show them it's all still good, you'd like to be with them again and the decision is theirs too, but you won't create drama if they decide its not gonna work. Some nice guys really get nervous about the communication at this point - and rightly so - and so clam up, but this is when it's important to really communicate.
We all know what the douchebags do at this point, so this is when you stop taking cues from what's working for them, because they only know how to get girls, not keep them , so they create the badboy personna to cover up that shortcoming.
What Girls Said 95
I do want a nice guy but not too nice.
of course we want good guys. if I find out my guy is not good, then I won't be with him.
Gals know if they want to catch a guy, they have to do things to attract him first. We're told to work on our bodies, our style, our overall appearance as well as our own little quirks that are negative such as being too needy or too timid or too self-centered or too chatty...
"Nice" guys can still work on their approach ... it doesn't make girls jerks to not see it right off the bat. Most people want attraction and chemistry along with a stable relationship. This takes confidence and working on your flirting skills. Both men and women can work on their charm and approach to attract more people. The "niceness" is what can keep a good relationship running strong. This means beign considerate and kind, not being a doormat.
Guys use the word "nice" too much. Most of the time, they're referring to pushovers who are too passive, which isn't attractive. A guy can be assertive and still be a decent guy--those are the "nice guys" girls like.
I love good guys, in fact, I married one.
No, most girls do like cocky, arrogant assholes that they think they can change or will be different with them. Its the truth.
I do, but what nice guys don't know about the jerks is that they act like nice guys when they're around us, so what they're telling their nice friends is not the same thing they're telling us girls.Jerks are "Nice guys" around girls.
It's really stupid but all girls want a good guy but every guys a good guy on some level. The reason we go for assholes and jerks is cause they get our attention. As much as we bitch and complain that guys do all the things we hate but it's what catches our interest the thrill of the chase. Nice guys just need to catch our attention
I do like a nice/sweet guy. But I don't like him being sweet and nice 24/7
cuz that could get really boring.
I like nice guys.
We do like guys who are respectful but 1) a lot of the jerks first acted like this to manipulate us and 2) we also want a guy to joke around with us, even making fun of us a little, versus always being polite and serious. There are other reasons why it seems like only the "jerks" get the girls versus the "nice guys" though it isn't necessarily true, but these are just the 2 that I could think of on my own right now.
i don't know why,
but I'm attracted to jerks.
i hate that I'm attracted to them,
but I just can't help it.
nice guys aren't interesting, their predictable.
bad guys, always.. blow my mind.
their so exciting and unpredictable.
& there's something about nice guys,
it always feels like they have something to hide :/
yes. I don't want a player and be heartbroken. I prefer having an honest soul rather then a lost soul. I'm in a LDR and really hoping my boyfriend is a true soul and a nice guy.
YES, YES, YES! I'm really starting to get sick and tired of these douchebags that are running around wild! I have always been into nice guys! I think they are so sweet and genuine.
I think I'm one of the few who steer away from these cheap-talk, horny males. I have beautiful single friends who are waiting for these nice guys to show up ... until then, we pretty much shy away from dating at all. =(
I guess because of attraction. Women may WANT to be with a good guy, but attraction keeps them going back to the bad boy.
I would point out that it is the same with guys: guys say they want a nice girl, but many are so attracted to bitchy/mean/dominant women and they can't control it - they have to have her.
Confidence is very attractive to women and men. jerks have a lot of confidence.
Nice guys with confidence can be difficult to find - and if it comes down to a nice guy with no self respect and a confident guy who is a bit of a jerk, the sad truth is that women will go for #2.
However, this does not mean that women don't want to be with nice guys - a nice guy with confidence is what would make a woman truly happy.
I do. I want someone there for me if something were to happen and to comfort me. I wouldn't want a guy to leave me there all sad and still think I like him after that.
I think it has something to do with the whole wanting what you can't have phenomena. When a girl is with a "bad boy",she may desperately pine for a "nice guy." Vice versa for the whole having a "nice guy" and wanting a "bad boy".
i want nice guys and I tell myself that I want nice guys ... but sometimes they are just too nice...
I can't speak for all women, but I can tell you what I want:
*Want to cuddle
*Want to party
*Be tough enough that you don't actually have to follow through on kicking some guys 6 when he grabs mine
*Bring me flowers
*Tell me you're thinking about me
*Love your momma
*Be able to fix my car
*Be strong enough to throw me over your shoulder
*Have the ability to get drunk without being an idiot
*Talk to me like I'm human and have a brain
*Adore me and tell me I'm beautiful
*Have the guts to ask out the pretty girl, chances are no one else does!
Being a bad boy is a state of confidence, that's what attracts women more than anything. My man seems like the total "bad boy" type. Pro athlete, bouncer, big tough guy...he's the nicest man I know
Mature girls who are ready for a serious relationship will look for the good guys. When they have gone through their BAD BOY phase, they will come looking for you, but it may not be until they are in their mid to late twenties... I found what I thought was a nice guy and he BROKE my heart... now I have gone back to the bad boy phase because I am NOT ready for a real relationship...
Be the nice guy - the world needs more nice guys.
Yes..its so hard to find a nice guy..we want a guy that treats us nice that loves us and that won't run off after another female in a second.. But we do not want a little p**** either Sorta a combination.. If your mean to us well think your pushing us away if your nice well feel loved and comfortable around you.. but if you just be your self around us girls then I'm sure you will find someone good for you.. ^.^
YES! I don't care what other guys THINK is the case. But I personally love them. But it depends on what your view of a nice guy is. Of course we won't show interest in a guy if he can't get off his ass and talk to us. If a guy is funny, makes me feel comfortable, and feeling really good about myself then that's all it takes to get my attention. Personally as soon as I see the guy treating me badly or acting like a total ass I say "see you later, have a nice life!". I'm not one of those girls who are going to settle for something less cause I know I deserve to be treated good. So all you good guys don't give up! There isn't many left out there. If you want to find a nice girl be a nice guy. If you want a slut or just want the girl for the night then fine treat her however you want. So I guess I'm not one of those typical girls then! :)
yeah I dated I guy because he was so naice but I like them hot too.
Yes we like good guys some like bad boys, there is a difference there one is a guy and the other is a boy. Sometimes the good guys aren't sure how to make the girl notice them, maybe because their shy. And most of the time we girls fail to notice the good guys right under are noses and we don't figure it out for a long time. SO TO ALL You GREAT GUYS OUT THERE GO OPEN HER EYES! And show her the best guy was standing right infront of her the whole time! The best way isn't always the easiest so I wish you all luck! ^^
I'd like a nice guy. There are many nice guys out there, but I've yet to find one whom we're mutually attracted to. It's a numbers game. Don't stop being a good guy because you think being the reverse will help you score.
We want the nice guy that rides in on his white horse and saves us but @ the same time we want the guy who does something out of character! Just like guys hate predictability so do women. Stay respectful @ all times but every now and again spice it up
to an extent we want nice guys. we want a guy who is nice, but isn't pampering our every need. so open the door, and see how she reacts. if she thanks you, then do it more, if not... don't worry about it next time. it just depends on who you get with my griend. women are very confusing.
The girls that do so, stay single! now there's your answer. Not to mention, guys just wanna score (mostly), so they cheat, lie, ignore and whatever they can. Major turn off
I would love a nice man!
The world is full of
shallow girls who choose "bad" "rough" etc guys
shallow guys who choose "fickle" "princessey" "selfish" girls.
I believe this behavior has the same root in both sexes, there are complex psychological reasons as to why but basically it is a sign of a lack of emotional development of both sides. This question is worded like this is a female phemomenon and its not.
i prefer a guy with a set of morals who will stick by them even if that means he won't be as "popular". I don't like a doormat and many people confuse "nice guy" with "doormat".
bad boy = emotionally stunted/damaged = boredom buster, miserable relationship
good guy = emotionally strong/healthy = long term boyfriend material, happy relationship
doormat guy = emotionally stunted/damaged = boring, posible long term but not happy
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What Guys Said 34
From my own experience, and for the most party, girls do want a nice guy. But it's the bad guys who give them the most attention and are more driven than the nice guys. This is why girls are more likely to choose them. If your not quick on your feet, someone else will get there before you.
If being nice isn't working out for ya, then why don't you join the jerks, come on join the club. Do you really want to have to wait for a girl to call you, or you have to always call her? Girls call me constantly my friend, they text me all hours of the night, and it's getting a little annoying. Now the women are going to say well I will end up alone and single, really, now how does that work, I have a girlfriend right now, and before that I was getting girls in no problem, so do they just think all my knowledge of women is just going to disappear one day, and I won't be able to get a gf?
Some chick even posted on here that she was with a bad boy and he used her or something and now its driving her crazy. Bingo she can't stop thinking about him, this happens to chicks all the time, and guess what they will still come back to the jerk, but on the other hand if your nice, you get the lets be friends, or if actually do end up with a gf, she gets bored, she cheats, or she ends the relationship, and it comes as a shock to the guy, so he just stands there frozen like a deer caught in the headlights. I see that happen all the time.
If one strategy isn't working why not try another that will work, to me that is just common sense.
Girls like MEN, not boys who are either tying to "pay" for her attention (compliments, gifts, approval), or who are trying to "bully" her for attention (jerks who play games, insult her, or sexual perverts.)
Find a middle ground by being sincere, honest, but also aloof, mysterious, flirty, fun, a tease, and challenging.
Women want the game of dating to be fun.
If you're too easy, or too hard, for her to connect with (by being either needy, desperate, jaded, or angry), she'll push you away. But by being fun (flirting, laughing, going on adventures) but also being challenging (not letting her walk all over you, teasing her a little, and not showing her all your cards) you allow her to take her time to experience time with you like a reading a good novel. Let her learn about you over time, over many dates.
The best way to be a "MAN" is to build her attraction for you by LEADING and ESCALATING.
I'd recommend reading this: link and this: link
Good luck man!
because women don't do what they think is right, they do what they feel is right...
and "nice guys" don't create that sense of attraction for women that the "bad boys" do...
Protip: Women never know what they want.
Women want nice guys that they're attracted to, not the nice guys that are wussy, passive, and put the women on a pedestal.
It's not about being the nice guy or the bad boy, it's about being the real man.
i think girls just want to work, a good guy would be to easy to get for them. A bad guy on the other side is harder to get and they want to change them, to make them good. That's a challenge and girls like challenges ;)
It goes both ways. Guys are shallow(alot of them) and girls go out with jerks cause they get tricked very easily. I mean of course you would think girls could tell after the first time. They say one thing and then do another. a perfect quote for girl who continually go out with jerks is "Fool me once shame you.Fool me twice shame on me"
I know what you mean and feel you but think of it like this, maybe 5% of Americas females actually contribute to this site and they say yea we love nice guys and of course you mean he treats her right and is always there for her but the rest of em love the a**holes and I think its mostly because those guys are super good and smooth talkers in the beginning and don't show the true colors until a little bit ltr.
Girls like polite nice, not clingy "I'll pick you and your girlfriend up and drop you off at the movies because you don't have a ride" nice. The polite nice guy can finish first; the desperately nice guy finishes last.
The guy who can take initial steps forward with some likings of the girl makes the competition.
But this won't make a trustworthy sense of security for girls.
The cold reality is that most people (both men and women) are attracted extraverted, outgoing people. Some of these guys are going to be arrogent douchebags, but as long as they are out going and self-confident, they will continue to meet girls. Some girls do like interoverted men, but most people are attracted to confidence.
From the nice guy side:
The ones who like jerks tend to either have big issues with their past (mean jerky fathers / uncles... that kind of junk) that will end up taking a lot to work through.
That or they are jerks themselves.
Either way, its worth your time to wait for someone else nice... they will come along, and they will be awesome.
my girl wants me to be a d*** to her sometimes.
...i'm a little lost on the situation but it's kewl
I think its thes the bad boys that they start off with but the good guys they settle down with
Girls never know what they want. They make up little check lists of standards that a guy is suppose to meet, yet never stick to it or once they get it, they figure out that it was not enough. You have to make them know they love you or they will just make you know you love them...simple as that, but remember they might not stick with you just because you like them.
Girls usually like guys by personality which all guys are different.
And is opposite for guys. Mostly looking for looks
i would say it really matters on the girl.yea I know some women want the nice guy but yet they don't see it that its right in front of them sometimes and instead goes for the idiots and bad boys.but sometimes its reality and we all live in fantasy dreams and fairy tales like all these princess fairy tales for girls ya know.
girls HATE guys who dnt have any confidence... and that's girls of ANY age, walk of life, whatever... if they dnt like you, why worry abt them? Why cry abt it? You gotta make yourself happy...
Girls like nice guys. What we, as guys, think of a "nice guy" is different than what girls think. Because the nice guy we think is a nice guy is in fact not at all a nice guy. It is a nice puppy, one that humps the leg of one girl, becomes her servant in hopes of her throwing him a bone.
A nice guys in a girl's mind is one that shows masculinity, power and backbone but without abusing those traits. James Bond is a nice guy. You know, a gentleman.
So yeah, girls love nice guys, but they don't love (as in they're not attracted to) pathetic puppies.
ONLY when they're settling down.
Bro, I think rainydaydreamer nailed it. Nice is a generic term that generally means no balls. Anytime I was nice in that way to a girl, I was put in the friend zone. Then later when I told them I had feelings, they literally told me at one time there was an attration but now they saw me as a trusted "brother-like" person. Be a man. Take the lead, if she is giving you the signals, don't ask just do until she says no. I have never "asked" any of the girls I hooked up with for permission. I read the body language and just went for it. You would be suprised the level of girl you can get if you have confidence and just give off the I don't give a f*** attitude.
However, this does not mean be an asshole. Be confident and the leader, but treat her with respect and as a partner.
There are a few, but there are more nice guys then there are girls who want nice guys, unfortunately.
no they don't want a nice guy at all bro
they say too much but they don't mean it
i seen it
i experience it
this how it goes
a nice guy
its all way there for them
next to them
when they are crying sad whatever
they are always there
nice guy ask them out
a- I don't want to ruin our friendship
b-your cute lol stop joking
they want a bad guy its proven over and over again
a- they get cheated on
b-they are made felt like they rnt good enough
c- the whole I'm going to change him bs
now girls always say guys are douche
cuz they most of the time the date the bad guys
i know every girl will disagree but history proves them wrong
and when they are in their 30's or 40's
they want the nice guys
cuz if they truly did want the nice guys
they would go for the one that is next ot them all the time but they don't
nice guys often are worse at talking to girls
for real dawg I don't get some girls. every time I see a nice girl she be always with a rich guy who has a nice car and sh*t. all they care about is money but of course they always talk about nice guys and that money don't matter. f***in whores
Depends on the girl itself.
- Harvey D
Dude I totally know what you mean, it gets damn frustrating. But I think the thing is with most ladies is that they like the idea of a nice guy, but the "bad boy" type is so much more exiting. They like the unpredictable types, never knowing whether he's going to forget her birthday or take her on a grand Bahama cruise.
I may be a nice, introverted guy, but I have to say that I act like a d*** at times. I keep everything in moderation. I'm not the type of guy who pretends to be nice and then screw everyone over just cause he can.
I'd rather be somewhat courteous and polite as opposed to being nice 100% of the time and act as if I'm annoying her to death with kindness. I mean, you wouldn't go to your friends and act like a doormat to them, are you? Or I mean, you'd probably feel the same way if a girl tried to annoy you with kindness. Hey, I'd treat girls as if they were my friends. In other words, I'm a 'nice guy'/gentleman towards everyone, not just towards girls, but guys as well. And I mean doormats really need to grow backbones and become MEN by just standing up for themselves rather than appeasing women 100% of the time. It's pathetic. No one wants a player, no one wants a doormat.
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