Do girls really want nice guys?

You say you do, but you certainly don't practice what you preach, at least most of you.


Most Helpful Girl

  • One thing so-called badboys do that so-called nice guys don't is MAKE MOVES AND TAKE RISKS! I've spent entire evenings wondering if I'm EVER gonna get kissed by the nice guy and entire evenings wondering how the badboy managed to get his tongue in my mouth so quickly when I didn't want him to at all ever!

    I'm not saying nice guys should stick their tongue down women's throats more often, but if you like her and you feel like she's giving you signs she likes you back, stop hinting around and giving her little signs you like her - she probably gets that and wonders if you are ever gonna do anything about it, and eventually that gets old and irritating with even the most patient woman so MAKE YOUR MOVE!

    Another thing the socalled badboys do that the nice guys don't: If they are reasonably sure they are gonna get rejected they either do something really bold or they move on to someone who will not reject them, but they assess this fairly quickly while the nice guys are still trying to read mixed messages and worrying about rejection.

    Here's another thing the so-called badboys do that the nice guys don't - and admittedly, it's based on a lot of arrogance that I don't WANT nice guys to have: When they get rejected, they don't dwell on it or take it personally, they think the woman is a fool for rejecting god's gift to her! DORKS! Haha! But there is something to be learned if you can manage to not dwell on it and not take it personally and just move on to someone else who will be more receptive to you.

    So to sum it up, be a nice guy, be a knight in shining armor, sweep us off our feet and capture our heart with kindness, humor and spirit - we want that and we fall head over heels for it like you would not believe. Make that move - we want you to! But without being a douchebag badboy... And without acting like an idiot after we've had sex.

    I think a lot of what decides if you are a nice guy or a douchebag is how you act after you've been intimate. This is when women decide if you are just using them, if you are gonna be clingy/needy/high maintenance, if you are gonna judge them or if you are gonna put them at ease and show them it's all still good, you'd like to be with them again and the decision is theirs too, but you won't create drama if they decide its not gonna work. Some nice guys really get nervous about the communication at this point - and rightly so - and so clam up, but this is when it's important to really communicate.

    We all know what the douchebags do at this point, so this is when you stop taking cues from what's working for them, because they only know how to get girls, not keep them , so they create the badboy personna to cover up that shortcoming.

    • Yeah but there is one difference though, a nice guy can learn to be more assertive and spontainious, particuraly if a girl tells him to take the lead... A badboy on the other hand is always going to be a player, it's what they are, they won't ever change. They'll be players until they day they die, at least that has been my experiences with friends and family who were badboys. They are irredemable.

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    • Agreed! But again, making a move, doing something bold, does not necessarily mean doing something sexual, especially before you are both ready. Making a move can be something you say or do that shows the girl you will take emotional risks for her because afraid or not, you want to be with HER.

    • Sometimes it seems like the nice guys assume no means no but the bad boy knows that's not the case. The nice guy doesn't wanna feel like a rapist. Honestly also I like to talk with women about serious stuff or even silly stuff as fellow human beings, if everything I am doing is about trying to hit on her trying to get laid I don't feel like I am even treating her as an equal

What Girls Said 95

  • I do want a nice guy but not too nice.

  • The girls that do so, stay single! now there's your answer. Not to mention, guys just wanna score (mostly), so they cheat, lie, ignore and whatever they can. Major turn off

  • We like nice guys but we also like a challenge--which comes the misconception that we like bad guys. Its good to be nice but don't be a pushover. There is the difference nad people often confuse nice guys with pushovers.

  • I would love a nice man!

  • the only guys I've ever dated are nice guys, and YES, all I really want is a NICE GUY. however, just because the guys are nice doesn't mean they are perfect and incapable of being jerks. because they can be jerks just like bad boys, they're just a lot better at hiding it. sooner or later this insecure little boy comes out and takes out all of his past frustration with women on you, and that is not worth it.

    • To be frank, ur post sounded bitter.

    • Absolutely. I'm totally bitter after having been in two serious relationships with guys that were SO nice to begin with... I didn't care about their lack of attractiveness and social skills, I just wanted a nice guy. Then a year or so in their egos inflate, they think they can get whatever they want because they already HAD a hot chick, so why can they get tons more? They both came back later, but by then I had seen what they were REALLY made of. now I date nice ATTRACTIVE men... less issues.

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What Guys Said 34

  • Girls like MEN, not boys who are either tying to "pay" for her attention (compliments, gifts, approval), or who are trying to "bully" her for attention (jerks who play games, insult her, or sexual perverts.)

    Find a middle ground by being sincere, honest, but also aloof, mysterious, flirty, fun, a tease, and challenging.

    Women want the game of dating to be fun.

    If you're too easy, or too hard, for her to connect with (by being either needy, desperate, jaded, or angry), she'll push you away. But by being fun (flirting, laughing, going on adventures) but also being challenging (not letting her walk all over you, teasing her a little, and not showing her all your cards) you allow her to take her time to experience time with you like a reading a good novel. Let her learn about you over time, over many dates.

    The best way to be a "MAN" is to build her attraction for you by LEADING and ESCALATING.

    I'd recommend reading this: link and this: link

    Good luck man!

    ~ Robby

  • Girls like nice guys. What we, as guys, think of a "nice guy" is different than what girls think. Because the nice guy we think is a nice guy is in fact not at all a nice guy. It is a nice puppy, one that humps the leg of one girl, becomes her servant in hopes of her throwing him a bone.

    A nice guys in a girl's mind is one that shows masculinity, power and backbone but without abusing those traits. James Bond is a nice guy. You know, a gentleman.

    So yeah, girls love nice guys, but they don't love (as in they're not attracted to) pathetic puppies.

  • Girls like polite nice, not clingy "I'll pick you and your girlfriend up and drop you off at the movies because you don't have a ride" nice. The polite nice guy can finish first; the desperately nice guy finishes last.

  • It's not about being the nice guy or the bad boy, it's about being the real man.


    • EXACTLY!!!!

      Finally, there's a man out there that gets it! Now, the problem is, your definition of that and mine are probably vastly different, and everyone else who reads this is going to have a different definition as well.

      However, it is very easy to tell who is following their own inner voice of how to be a real man, a stand-up guy, and who doesn't have a clue or doesn't care and gets away with whatever they can.

      Women: be a real woman and you will be more likely to find a real man.

    • Lol Thank you. I'll try to define it better.... A real man has an internally centered frame of mind. Meaning he acquires his inner believes, confidence, and strength within himself. He can be cocky; but he'll make fun of himself when he's doing it. He will change a girl's mood (by being fun), not her mind (by pleading to have sex; not going to work). He does not hold girl's on a pedestal. They are human and want to be treated that way. Honest, assertive, and caring finish up this definition.

  • From the nice guy side:

    The ones who like jerks tend to either have big issues with their past (mean jerky fathers / uncles... that kind of junk) that will end up taking a lot to work through.

    That or they are jerks themselves.

    Either way, its worth your time to wait for someone else nice... they will come along, and they will be awesome.

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