My Ex- Girlfriend Has a New Boyfriend

So I met my ex-girl in college we dated for 3 years. Everything was perfect how we met when we met just how you wanna meet your soul mate. Then this past may we both went home for summer break from college and during that time she broke up with me saying she wanted to take a break. So I said ok I can handle that. Well the following semester we talked every day as if nothing ever happened but we still were apart technically. So towards the end of the semester she started talking to me less and less. Then about 2 weeks ago from today she told me she has a new boyfriend and she's really falling for him. I just don't understand how she could do this to me when everything was going great. I still believe deep down that she loves me and cares for me but its been almost 2 weeks since weve talked. Do you think there's any chance we will ever get back together or talk again? I feel like I've lost her for good

I forgot to mention she called my cell about a week ago a total of 12 times to tell me thank for helping her get through school and she owed it to me. She also sent a text saying she will always be here for me
Thanks for all the comments guys some of them are hard to hear but I see your point of view. I just want to know do you think well ever talk again she said that I was her first love and she will always remember that?
Another thing I forgot to add was why would she call to tell me thanks for getting her through college and she owed to me when in reality I'm not gonna be celebrating her graduation with her, her new boyfriend is. its like I did all the leg work for what?
So its been since thurs the 10th of Dec since we last talked. This is the longest we have gone without talking and I am just wondering if you guys think she is thinking about me at all sinec I have been keeping the no contact rule in effect
So she called me tonight 4 times then sent 2 text messages saying she really wanted to talk to me. I gave in and called her back and I could tell she still missed me in her voice then she said her love life was wonderful, but I kept it really short


Most Helpful Girl

  • What you experienced was a "gentle" breakup. Instead of telling you that she did not want to be with you anymore, she broke it gently by saying she wanted to take a break. Unfortunately, she left you hanging, while she took her time to meet someone new. She probably imagined that this whole time you have been talking since the breakup that you were over her too and realized you two were just friends. That is the only explanation that makes any sense since she felt so comfortable to tell you she had a new boyfriend that she was falling for.

    I think this is a good example about why breaking up with someone "gently" is not the way to go. No matter how or when you tell someone that you do not want to be with them, it hurts if that person does not feel the same way. I just feel that she knew she did not want to be with you from the get go, not that she wasn't sure and just wanted a break. I do not see her wanting to get back together with you. I think she enjoyed romance with you but she did not see you as being the one for her in the future. I am sorry to hear about your pain. Grieve this loss and do not stop the process by hoping that the two of you will get back together.


What Girls Said 18

  • Do what they say ladies should do and DONT contact her at all. Leave her wondering where yo are and what you are up to . It will leave her a little bit of mystery. It will make her wonder if YOU have a new girlfriend and why you areent gving her any attention. See what happens then.

  • . Mainly speculation, but I think she still has feelings for you. One, why would she tell you she was seeing someone else and falling really hard for him? If I'd broken up with my boyfriend this would be the last thing I'd want him to know that I found somene else to spare his feelings.Also, she's still calling you and making excuses to say hi, like "thanks for all your help, etc.",especially 12 times. I suggest you leave her be and don't call her at all. Let her call you. I truly believe she will eventually. Yes it may take months, but hold out.

    God bless you and the best of luck.

    • Well that could be a possiblity thanks for the optimistic point of view!

  • it's over because she found someone else. things went on the same as before because even though she knew she didn't want to be together, she still couldn't let you go and harbored feelings for you. it was hard for her to break up, three years is a long time, and you were both integrated so much into each others' lives, it was difficult to live with the idea of not having each other anymore.

    i think she does love you, and always will, but she is ready for new things and over the old relationship.

    she wasn't completely over it until she was able to meet someone new and finally experience new feelings for that new person. with that, she is able to close the chapter on your relationship.

    her texting you and calling you do mean she feels guilty for hurting you, because I am sure she never really meant to. people change and things change, and even when you want to, you can't go back. you can't control how you feel, even if it turns things sad.

    as to whether there's ever any chance, life is unpredictable. one day perhaps you will run full circle to each other again (and you can think of it that way for a while if it makes you feel better, I've done it before), but really, right now, it's over and you should begin moving on, though it will be hard.

    think of the end as a new beginning. I hate that expression, but this is the only way to describe it. I don't find it very comforting, but it's there and it is what it is.

    • I really don't see why I was given points down for this. I wasn't being mean, or sarcastic, or anything. I literally said what I believed was the situation. you wanted to know what she is probably feeling/if there was a chance of getting back together. I didn't give any sort of bad advice here either. I think you should move on, though I know it will be really hard. I wasn't being nice by saying I think she feels guilty, etc. I've been in a similar situation and I know what I'd feel if I were her

  • If you feel that strongly about her. I don't think that becuse she has someon one new "for the moment" that means that she does not still ove you. I had a proefessor once, he was a psych professor, he told me how he met his wife at the bookstore at college. they dated for 2 years and then she broke up with him and married someone else. he later did the same, they both became divorced at the same time and ran into each other several years later. After a few months of "dating" again, the finaly wed. And he said this is my bride, my soul mate. H etruly believed that she was the one even though they were not together, he still believed that. Follow your heart, it won't lie to you. Only your mind will lie, it will feed those fantasy like desires but your heart WILL remain true and pure,it will reflect how you feel.

  • lol sounds like this girl doesn't know WHAT she wants

More from Girls

What Guys Said 20

  • okay a lot of these answers are good, but not many that great. When she asked to take a break that meant that she was trying to see if she could live without you. When you kept in contact with her, that gave her the sign that meant that you were okay with not bing her boyfrind and could be just a friend if she so chose. Which she did choose. You gotta stop talking to her bro. It's jus like what I'm going through now. I keep trying to hang out with my girlfriend all the time, she's busy and gets lazy an doesn't hang out with me even if she really isn't doing anything at the time and could if she wanted. But that's the problem, you can't be there when she wants, you have to be there on your time. You are the man. Men are perceived in a certain way by women. They want the guy to make an effort without trying too hard and seeming desperate. So what you do is create some distance on purpose, that way they'll miss you and wonder why you're not trying so hard. They'll be like "woah, why isn't Johnny texting/calling me like he used to? I miss him." or "Is Jim not as into me as he used to be?" And they will wonder and wonder until they realise what theyve been doing wrong and most times they'll want to fix it so you'll go back to being their support system again, but you won't do that again will you. No you won't. You'll act like a boyfriend instead of just acting like a friend. Sure you are still her friend, but just not as available anymore. She has enough friends, she wants a boyfriend, someone who will say sweet things to her when she least expects it, someone who will fulfill her sexually, someone who makes her feel different than any other girl in the world. Take time on yourself right now. Show her that you don't want to be her friend, you want to be her boyfriend. I know no contact doesn't seem like it shows something, but it shows much more than you can say.

  • Everyone who said something about it being over hit the nail on the head. Don't waste any more time on this women because she's not thinking about you. As someone wise once said "If she can stand to leave me, then I can stand to let her leave." She LEFT you. So why would you bother worrying about someone like that?

    I know that it's hard to think about where you will go next because you're so used to being with her, but you have to pick yourself up and move on. Break those old habits and go hang out with the boys..

    You're still a young man.. Go out and meet some new women.

    Live your life.

  • @Your Update: Her call/texts are her feeling guilty about hurting you. Doesn't change the fact that it's over.

  • It's been over since you two went onto a "break" (I have never known a relationship to work out after a "break" was needed). Either she was trying to be "gentle" like one other user suggested or she liked still having you around until she met someone new. It's hard to say without knowing her, but I'd say it's definitely one of the two. In her mind it ended a long time ago and she was already well over the relationship when this new guy came along. Unfortunately for you, you still believed there was hope when there wasn't any. Sorry. Time to move on.

  • My answer here is redundant, as wanacot has already nailed this one.

    First the girls dumps you and then she rubs salt in the wound by using you as an emotional security blanket while she looks for a new man. If you doubt this, look at how quickly the communication between the two of you dried up when she fell for the new guy.

    You shouldn't be asking whether there is any chance of getting back with this girl. After the way she's treated you, you shouldn't want to have anything to do with her.

More from Guys