how much of it do guys really like and what's the best way to play it?
Most Helpful Guy
Here is how "the chase" works:
Two people meet. They start to shoot signals at each other that they are interested in each other. They also await for signals from the other person to confirm that the interest is mutual. As this exchange progresses, the signals transition from subtle, to obvious. Eye contact turns into conversation. Conversation turns into actions. Actions turn into touching. Touching turns into making out. Making out turns into sex. Sex turns into intimacy. Intimacy turns into connection. Connection turns into deep closeness.
(but the key point, is that it's a bi-directional process "guy --> girl AND girl --> guy". it's NOT a uni-directional process "guy --> girl" OR "girl --> guy")
Here is how "the chase" works:
A person (guy or girl) wants a relationship. A relationship is motivated by BOTH parties, having some benefit from being together. If the benefit they GET from the relationship, exceeds the benefit they GIVE (cost), then that person is motivated to stay in that relationship.
The chase is nothing more than communication of information. It's not just in relationships between two people that are romantically or sexually interested in each other. It goes on in business, negotiation tables & board rooms all around the world!
BOTH parties want information. And if they're not getting that information, or if they're not satisfied with that information; they walk!
But isolating the discussion to JUST romantic & sexual interest;
When Person A expresses interest or invests in the other person, Person A makes themselves vulnerable & stands to lose. Lose what? Sometimes money. Sometimes ego. Sometimes simply emotional well-being. But what about Person B? The person receiving these signs of interest & investments stands to gain; exactly what the other stands to lose. It's a complete balance.
Think of a scale. When a guy is initiating, approaching, paying for dates, etc. He's making himself vulnerable, investing, and putting himself "at risk" (of losing). Very quickly, if there's nothing on the girl's end to balance that scale; the guy will leave. That's just common sense & self-preservation.
Even if the guy is madly in love with you, and knows that you're the one; if the scale is imbalanced, he's going to rethink how he feels about that girl, his emotions & interest in her will fade (or reset) to zero, (since the interest isn't mutual), and he'll leave.
"the chase" really tells both people, how insecure, emotionally needy, and selfish the other person is; and therefore, will likely continue to be in a relationship.
A person (guy or girl) who often expects significant investment from the other person, before feeling safe enough to show interest or invest themselves; will often end up weeding out emotionally normal people, which means the only people left will be people who don't intend to stay in the long run; aka. players (both male & female players)6
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