Please help. Why isn't he calling me?

So this guy I've known for about a year started talking to me more two months ago and we became friends. He showed me many signals of wanting to be more than friends: giving me his number, saying he wanted to hang out and that he was up to whatever and that I should just give him a call. He stares at me at work, and acts all shy when we talk face to face... he used to call me every now and then and during a late night conversation it felt like he was "questioning" me, and his reason was: "I'm trying to get to know you." I never asked him why he was questioning, he just wanted to let me know that he wants to know me better. He was indirectly telling me he was interested, right? Anyway, As we ended the conversation it felt like we had grown so much closer.

But ever since we grew closer he started acting distant towards me at work and he stopped calling me. He still stares at me and when we talk he flirts with me. He knows I like him, but he hasn't sent me any signals saying he doesn't feel that way. I sent him a text today saying: "Hey we haven't really talked in a while so could you give me a call on your break cause I don't know when your taking it. If not that's cool too." He should've already gone on break, but he hasn't called. Why?

Edit: Okay, so last night during his break (around 9:30ish... he went later than the usual) he texted me: "My battery's dying, but I will call you later." He hasn't called me yet... why? By later did he mean in a few days? I'm so confused...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Without knowing more it's hard to say. My best guess would be that he is waiting for you to take a next step. Maybe he likes you but is unsure about your feelings. You say he knows you like him but that might not be the case. Women are notorious for sending obvious signals (translated to guys: subtle signals) and guys are notorious for being oblivious to the signals.

    Maybe you came off defensive during the conversation asking him why he was "questioning" you. (I'm not sure what you mean) and it made him feel too forward.

    You only mention him calling you... Did you call him too? Maybe he felt closer to you too and hoped you would call after that. Guys need to feel wanted too or they lose interest. Maybe he felt he was bothering you in a way if the calls didn't go both ways.

    Also, you wrote in your text, "if not that's cool too." But it's not cool, because you are freaking out a little bit, right? Don't sound wishy washy or neutral. Either tell him you miss him and want him to call, period. Or call him yourself and tell him you missed him.

    Maybe he didn't call because something came up. Don't worry about it. But it does sound like its still your move.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's hard to know what he meant by later.

    But, maybe he got nervous and just lost his nerve to impress you, or maybe someone else said something to him about you. Either way, you can only know if you ask him and get him to give you an honest answer. You deserve to know.


What Girls Said 2

  • I would just try to forget about this guy because it sounds like he doesn't have the guts to let you know that he is no longer interested. Stop tripping off of him and then maybe he will be more clear about how he really feels about you. I have had this same problem; the guy staring at me, but not calling me and only calling me when he wants sex, etc. I just got tired of it and said to myself "you know are too good to be getting treated this way and if a guy cannot appreciate that, then good riddens to him." Ever since, my life has been a whole lot better. No more confusion, no more waiting by the phone feeling lonely and frustrated and betrayed,no more of that. And if those guys do call again, I don't feel like I owe them any explanation, because they never game ME one! I am learning how to be happy without a guy in my life, especially one that only wants to play games with me and come in and out of it using me and taking advantage of me, and not appreciating the person that I am. It is really true that life is too short to be living that way. If this guy in your life doesn't have the guts to call you, or at least have the guts to tell you SOMETHING, then is he really worth it? Probably not.

    • just helped ME out here even tho ur answer is a year old lol.

  • He may not have gotten your text yet or since you wrote it's cool if he doesn't then he probably figured if he didn't respond you would think of it as the latter.