I am, according to what people say, attractive physically and mentally. I do get a lot of attention from guys, but rarely does a guy fall madly in love with me, or become obsessed with me. I feel that guys like me, but usually they are more enthralled with someone else, who isn't always as typically attractive or smart as I am. I imagine there must be some secret. I believe that it may be "playing hard to get" which everyone says is a bad idea, but that is clearly what I have to do. Someone shed light on this.
by the way I do not "put out".so that's probably not it. This is greatly distressing me.
Playing hard to get is a myth. It's something girls THINK guys like but in reality we hate it. Girls have a misconception that guys enjoy having to work for it, and the truth is that couldn't be farther from the truth. Most guys once they're out of their teens are sick and tired of women trying to make a game out of it.
You may be hot, and you may be smart, but are you approachable? Are you in a happy mood? Do you dress in a casual manner when you're out? You know, overdressing can discourage guys because it gives off the impression that you're a high maintenance girl, and that's a bad thing. A simple top (or something just as casual), jeans that don't look like they cost $100 a pair, sneakers and minimal or no jewelry give off the impression that you're a friendly, sociable gal who isn't going to make me feel embarrassed if I want to approach you and turn out not to be "your type. Smile and have a good time. These are all things that contribute to you being "approachable".
I think a smile has a lot to do with this, along with a lot of other factors too, but on a simple level - say you get a crush - you may say "they're attractive, good personality -- oooh, now they're smiling this way; what's that mean? Do they like me, too? Is my shirt inside out?(lol, j/k) Should I smile back?"
See what I mean though, once you initiate something by smiling to someone who's already attracted to you - they start thinking of all the what if's. And now you're on their mind.
But it's certain smiles too, like easy-going -turned kinda mischievous smile, or a double take-where the person smiles and turns, then turns and smiles one last time - things like that make people curious when they're already kind of wondering. So it kind of goes two ways you could say, there.
And always watch for an obsessive-totally-dependent-on-you type of encounters because there's always the exception cases of stalkers and weird encounters like that.