I like my best guy friend as more than a friend, what should I do?
I told my best guy friend that I like him as more than a friend. He was cool with it and said that if I wanted to try a relationship he'd be ok with that. So he came to dinner at my house and hung out with my family. And a couple weeks later, I went to his house and watched some movies. When we got there, no one was home, and he knew that. But he didn't tell me before hand. But then the whole time, he sat on the other side of the couch and hardly looked at me. Later that week we had a phone conversation and he told me that all of his ex girlfriends have been really big jerks and broken his heart. He told me he hates investing so much into a relationship (including other relationships, not just dating) only to be crushed and empty-handed at the end.
I assured him that I will do everything in my power to never hurt him. I told him that he can trust me and that I'm not like other girls, after all, we are best friends. I told him that I care a lot about him and I only want him to be happy because he definitely deserves to be happy.
And then he started to pull away a little bit. So I stopped being the first one to say something. I stopped emailing him and calling. I'm trying to let him have some time, because I don't think he's used to a girl who genuinely cares about him.
I'm scared I said too much and pushed him away for good. What should I do?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
It sounds like he could be getting cold feet. He was comfortable with you as a friend, but by changing the relationship, the dynamics changed as well. There is a lot more at risk, and it could be he valued your friendship more than he thought and the risk could be too great.
Having his heart broken in the past is makes it harder to trust anyone with his heart - including you. There are no guarantees that you are going to be the one for him forever - but you can assure him that you would be willing to give this your all.
Let him deal with this his own way - I feel with what you've written, he does care about you and is confused about how to trust you while keeping himself safe. As the one who initiated the romance, you should be the one to show him it wasn't a bad idea to begin with.
Reconnect with him. Tell him if he wants to take it slower, you're willing to wait. Tell him you understand his hesitancy and you just want the time to prove to him you can be with each other romantically. Just be there for him as a friend and let him set the pace - if this is something you really want.
I expect this won't be the last time he pulls away - just be patient. It takes a while to trust - especially if you have been burned in the past.
Good luck and I hope this works out for you.
What Guys Said 2
jus give him s little time alone then jus try talking and hanging out wit him without bring the whole thing up too soon again once he sees that you truly care about him he will be a little more willing , I recently told my best friend that I liked her as more that a friend and she told me that she does not date friends because her last boyfriend was her friend and he burned her pretty bad and he is also my friend too but just from that one bad experience she is not willing to give me a shot but I respect that and we are still friends I hoping that she will after awhile change her mind but the point is to show him that you will always are and be ther for him and he will most likely open up hope that helps
I would say to give him a little time to see where he's at, then try to talk to him about the situation. It's unfortunate that he's used to being hurt, because it could hamper promising relationship opportunities for him in the future (or in this case, the present). It sounds like your intentions are all good, best of luck!
What Girls Said 2
First don't stop being the first to say something.he needs you to say something
Second-theres nothing you can say to make him believe your no going to hurt him. You only have to prove it to him but only if he is willing to let you.
I think you have showed him a bad sign but not calling or emialing him.I think you need to apologize to him for that. He probably feels like your the one pulling away.