I like my best guy friend as more than a friend, what should I do?

I told my best guy friend that I like him as more than a friend. He was cool with it and said that if I wanted to try a relationship he'd be ok with that. So he came to dinner at my house and hung out with my family. And a couple weeks later, I went to his house and watched some movies. When we got there, no one was home, and he knew that. But he didn't tell me before hand. But then the whole time, he sat on the other side of the couch and hardly looked at me. Later that week we had a phone conversation and he told me that all of his ex girlfriends have been really big jerks and broken his heart. He told me he hates investing so much into a relationship (including other relationships, not just dating) only to be crushed and empty-handed at the end.

I assured him that I will do everything in my power to never hurt him. I told him that he can trust me and that I'm not like other girls, after all, we are best friends. I told him that I care a lot about him and I only want him to be happy because he definitely deserves to be happy.

And then he started to pull away a little bit. So I stopped being the first one to say something. I stopped emailing him and calling. I'm trying to let him have some time, because I don't think he's used to a girl who genuinely cares about him.

I'm scared I said too much and pushed him away for good. What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he could be getting cold feet. He was comfortable with you as a friend, but by changing the relationship, the dynamics changed as well. There is a lot more at risk, and it could be he valued your friendship more than he thought and the risk could be too great.

    Having his heart broken in the past is makes it harder to trust anyone with his heart - including you. There are no guarantees that you are going to be the one for him forever - but you can assure him that you would be willing to give this your all.

    Let him deal with this his own way - I feel with what you've written, he does care about you and is confused about how to trust you while keeping himself safe. As the one who initiated the romance, you should be the one to show him it wasn't a bad idea to begin with.

    Reconnect with him. Tell him if he wants to take it slower, you're willing to wait. Tell him you understand his hesitancy and you just want the time to prove to him you can be with each other romantically. Just be there for him as a friend and let him set the pace - if this is something you really want.

    I expect this won't be the last time he pulls away - just be patient. It takes a while to trust - especially if you have been burned in the past.

    Good luck and I hope this works out for you.