Why Does My Husband Still Check Out Other Girls?

Well first of all I understand he is only 21 I'm 23...We got married young I guess but we dated 4yrs and 8mths before we got married June 28,2008...But anyways yes ever time we go to stores or dances and theirs a pretty girl I already know his going to look at her...And every time I confront him at the time it happens he denies it...Come like a wk or two later hell admit it...Then hell say k Ur so acting like a middle school or high school girl...That's stupid...I always tell him why cause that girls prettier and I'm not or she has more body I'm sorry I ant perfect how you would really like me too be. So why does he check out other girls?


Most Helpful Girl

  • There's no guy that doesn't do this at least a little. Maybe some of them are more subtle about it, but they all do it. If you want your marriage to work I think you have to accept that and not put unreasonable expectations on him.


What Guys Said 10

  • I recommend reading "For Women Only" which deals with this topic directly. A good book and excellent reading on this topic and others.

  • Coming from a guy, males will always, no matter how old how young, unless he is gay, will check out other females. It is a given and if she is drop dead model hot, we just can not stop staring. It is a matter of the human nature we are biologically built like this (proven fact). The worst of all is for the female to make a big deal out of this kind of situation and develops into an argument. The best solution for this is just communicate about it, tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him checking out girls in front of you. Do not make it into an argument because we will always look and it is not because we do not think our partner is the best in the world it is a reaction. For instances, my girlfriend is drop dead gorgeous but sometimes I happen to glance at other females, she knows but the interesting thing sometimes she checks them out before I do and she even tells me to "Damn...!" It is like you are driving a Lambo and you happen to run across another Lambo, sometimes with nicer wheels, a new model, younger model, and you glance over but you still loves yours no matter what. Then later on it becomes a classic car as you age. (Bad metaphor once you go past that though LoL)

    • So could all you guys then please explain that magical chemical reaction that takes your neck and spins it in the direction of a passing lady who appears more attractive,or as you say "drop dead model hot"? What it seems to me is you guys are all making up the same logical excuse, "it's in our nature, we can't help it, it's an automatic reaction...etc". Last time I checked we all have a little thing called choice. Learn how to gain respect from your women, not lose it.

  • I generally check out attractive women although I try to be discreet about it. It doesn't mean he thinks there's anything wrong with you.

    There'd be something wrong with him if he didn't look a little. You do sound chldish making such an issue of it, it seems to me!

    • Do you honestly believe that?? I guess if you can justify to yourself that you are still a man with a penis by giving yourself the luxury of "occasionally" glancing at other women while you have a lady of your own then go for it. To women it's a respectful thing to not look. Here's my logic: you act out of love therefore if you respect, cherish, and love your women, you would not even feel the need to have to look cause they would be pitiful trash compared to the beautiful princess you have

    • I agree with selah. and there are even some men on here(veryVERYfew )who also believe it is disrespectful if you love the person ur with and it does hurt them.

      Any man who says its okay is low class, and need to bring themselves to higher standards of what men should be.

      Just becasue it hurts SOMANY women, and yet they continue to "not evolve" as they keep implying is why they do it.

  • There's no honest answer here. It could be a number of things, your age and inexperience. Or it could be that he has a natural desire to look.

    You also have to understand, that as humans we are not perfect. We are bound by imperfections. No husband, no matter how perfect, is never going to stare at another women simply because he's married. I think he's starting is natural, given his age. What you should be looking at, are his efforts and his commitment to you. Not your insecurity and compulsion to have a squabble with your husband.

    You have every right to confront your husband about your staring, but just be sure your looking at the big picture and taking in some considerations.

  • I gotta agree with everyone below.

    There isn't anything wrong with it other than your inability to realize it. You might as well be mad at him for breathing or eating.

    That being said, I have fully made it aware to my wife that I have noticed a hot girl. We will sometimes both comment on her and leave it at that. If it upset her like it does you, I'd just look when she isn't around. She is my princess, would never cheat ever on her but hey I am not dead and never make passes. I would never want her to look like those girls I check out because I'd miss coming home to my pretty princess. She sometimes make comment about movie stars or a guy she saw at work. No big deal. I love her and trust her and her me. No vow broken.

    But to have the leash so tight, he is just going to get better at hiding it and just resent you more.

    Here is an idea, when you see a hot guy make a comment. Oh wait you are perfect and never look at other guys, never mind.

    I suspect he loves you, or did love you with all his heart but you are making it difficult for him to be himself. Good luck with your marriage, I feel as though you are going to need it.

  • he should be able to look just not touch

  • Everyone is going to check out other people. I'm sure you do it too.

    The problem here seems to be a few things. First, you confronting him about it like it's bad. Checking out beautiful women is a reflex. It's subconscious physical behavior, just like breathing or heartbeat. Lighten up about it.

    Second, the fact that he denies it every time. That is a really bad sign for your relationship. You two can't even be honest and open about something like this? I can't imagine what's going to happen when an actual serious issue develops between you two.

    Third, you're too insecure about your body. The guy married you. He has to give you half his stuff if you divorce him. He isn't going to do that if he's not really in to you. Don't be so insecure and jealous of the other girls. He's not out f***ing them, and he won't be if you don't drive him away with your own insecurities and controlling behavior.

    You need to 1) lighten up, 2) let him know that you have lightened up, 3) let him know that he can check out girls, it's not going to bother you too much, 4) let him know that he can be honest with you about anything and you will always work anything out, and 5) realize that you're obviously pretty enough for him to marry you, don't get bent out of shape that he finds others pretty too. He picked you.

  • Dont blame him too much, at his age I'm not surprised he checks out other chicks, I've realised its a bad habit a guy must sort out before getting into a serious relationship, though after that its possible. But he needs to come upfront and just admit when he does it...then he can work on breaking the habit for you...btw, the other girl must be quite pretty if he's checking her over you :)

  • Most guys will check out other girls especially if there gorgeous. Its human nature. I wouldn't worry about it though. He married you so there must be something SPECIAL about you that he wanted more than any of those other women. I am also 2I and I have dated this girl for 5 years now and I love her alot, she is beautiful. I still find myself looking at other beautiful women and I am sure she does too, but I know I love her, I am comfortable with her, and she fullfills my ever desire so even though these other women catch my eye, I'm with her. If you think about it he probably checked you out too before you ever started dating. Physical attraction is usually where a relationship begins.

  • Men will always look at other women. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, or that he wants to cheat, or anything like that.

    Men look. It's a fact. You look at other men, too, but you're more subtle about it.

    But he's young, and he doesn't yet know that he should avoid looking at other women when he's with you. Remind him of that; "don't let your eyes wander when I'm in the room."


What Girls Said 6

  • Meh...every guy I've ever been with has checked out other women. Just cause a guy is with me doesn't mean he is dead to the world...thats how I look at it. I find it amusing actually...like when I'm with my bf, and I see a woman approaching that I know he will want to take a look at...Ill look right at him and see his eyes wander...its only a flicker of a second, but I know he took a look and when he looks back at me he tries to play it off and looks a little guilty...its kinda cute ;) Thing is, after 5 minutes, he's already forgotten about her...Im always the lasting impression...thats all that matters.

  • It;s normal to check them out a little. Don't worry about it. It doesn't mean he thinks you're not attractive. Most of us guys check out women and would do that even if we were married to three supermodels.

    So relax and enjoy life..

    • Sorry, my brother was looking at the question and answered without signing in under his name.

      But actually, I agree with him on this..Lan

  • okay I mnot a guy but I think like one...okay imagine this...you can't take a guy to a strip club and expect him not to look. guys are dogs. no matter how many years your married he's going to check out other girls...its nature. People look not even realising it. I was in school one day checking out this girl and I didn't even realize it until my friends were like, breakin your neck alison?. Honestly don't take it personal babe. men are men. no matter what its nature to look. just be happy he's not running off with them or going behind your back doing it. am I right? I'm not trying to sound all confident but I had this problem with an ex of mine and we talkedd it out and he explainedd this to me and he had a point. So I hope this helps =] good luck.

    also it sometimes helps if you pretend to put yourself in your partners shoes it helps you understand his views

  • like you said, you married young and he's still young as well. it's ok to check out other girls in my opinion unless that bothers you then tell him but I'm sure he's still gonna check out girls it's natural. I bet you check out hot guys too when he's not around especially. come on now, we are all human and eye candy is eye candy. as long as you are the one he's with at the end of the day, you're fine. Nothing's gonna come out of it. He has you and you have him. that's all that matters. --Suzy

  • everyone "checks out" other people. but it doesn't mean that he is sexually checking them out. maybe he's like wow that girl is pretty and then right after that he's like and she has nothing on my girl. talking about you. maybe you should communicate more with him about it.