How can a successful black female attract a successful white man?
ok so I am 24 years old and I am in dental school. I am attractive , tall,with a nice body but I find it hard to attract the same in a white guy or... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
The thing about mixed couples is that they sometimes overcompensate for being their original ethnicity, be it white, black, chinese, indian etc. It's possible that these guys you're meeting are nervous from a possibly new experience, and are unsure how to handle it. They might be putting on a bit of a show for your benefit, in order to make you feel more "at home" around them.
What you have to do, is perhaps assure them that they need not "act black" in your company, and that you want them for who they are, not someone they're acting as.
A bit of my background, so you know where this advice is coming from : I'm from Malaysia, which is a melting pot of Malays, Chinese and Indians and various other races. Inter-racial dating and coupling is of late quite rampant and is a widely accepted norm among those under the age of 50. It quite often is the case that we each act like we're from a different race, but it's fallen into acceptance, and is not seen as a problem for most people.
My advice = Just be yourself, don't put on airs and stuff, and keep looking. You'll find yourself a good guy soon enough, patience will pay off :)
What Guys Said 3
I'm white and recently broken-up with my fiance (also a black woman), so if I was 30 years younger, I might supply the answer to your quandry. But "if "If were a horse we'd all have a ride" as they say. I wish I could speculate as to what your problem is, but I'm clueless. If you're attractive and intelligent, what else is there to attract initial interest. Maybe most white guys are intimidated. If guys try and act black as you say, it certainly doesn't bode well for their level of maturity. Sorry, I can't help! All the best.
I dated a couple of black girls, and if I were not married I would probably do so again if we shared similar goals and values. The best advice I can give is to be obvious about your interest and maybe even invite them a time or two to something sort of casual. Hopefully things will grow from there.
What Girls Said 2
Eep! Okay, well..first Ill say I adore blonde blues...so suffice it to say most of my relationships have been with white guys. But specifically blonde blue, it makes my heart flip out :)
But...the whole "act like black guys" things get me...all black guys don't act the same...act ghetto or gangsta you mean maybe? I get approached by black men all the time who are incredibly intelligent and well spoken. I've even dated a few (hey, I don't discriminate...lol!) But I do find that some white guys think they have to be sterotypical and talk to me ebonics style etc...which is halarious cause I sound like a valley girl out of prep school...(but not a white girl...as many of my friends pointed out, most white people don't talk like me)
Anyway, all that aside... If you do the things you like, you'll meet people who are into the same things and right there you have something in common and share some sort of the same lifestyle. Like...I enjoy going to the museum, I like live music, and I love good food so I'm at the nicer restaurants in town. If I meet a guy at any of those places, I already know he has the same taste as me.
I guess the thing is...do your thing, and you'll come across people who share something in common with you. Also, if you do come across someone who is not white, but shares the same interests give him a chance. At the very least...dont wave him on because of his race. Each person you meet has a circle of friends who they share something in common with that you are closing yourself off to because of a bias. In fact, he may end up being a good friend...who can introduce you to someone that you might really click with...
And here's a kicker for you and something to wrap your thoughts around...most of the men I've been with have a preference for black women, and with that tend to very open and have quite a few black friends... the same guys you are ignoring because they are black. Food for thought.
If you go to school and work with them it should be easier on you. Smile more, not to generalize but white guys seem to like smiley girls. Also if they are flirting with you there is obviously some interest on his part, but maybe he thinks your not into hiim? Try smiling at the white guy you want and maybe ask him a question that he can help you with. White guys are less direct than black guys are so you are gonna have to do a little bit more work than you would if you want a black guy