Girls, how do you feel about a guy hitting a girl?

supposing she started it.

  • Justifiable in self defense, but he should hurt her as little as possible in the process of protecting himself
    81% (29)60% (9)75% (38)Vote
  • Never acceptable, he should just let her beat him
    14% (5)13% (2)14% (7)Vote
  • The sexes are completely equal, if she gets her ass kicked, well, she shouldn't have picked a fight with a dude
    5% (2)27% (4)11% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Girl

  • it is natural that if anyone is getting hit by anyone to defend themselves. What normal person is going to just stand there and let anyone assault them. However in a relationship, if it gets to that point to where the two individuals involved resort to violence against each other, it's time to call it quit. And when I say quit, I don't mean end the relationship and move on. Its time to yes end the relationship where the violence is going on, but I also mean to refrain from any relationship for a little while to find themselves and find out what it is that let them get to that point. If there was mutual violence against each other, not just one person is at fault. Both parties are.

    However, I also feel that in a relationship, if the female is beating up on the guy, he should try his best to restrain her and get her to stop and in some instances the male has to defend himself. Who wants to get beat up on and do nothing about it? no one. So if it resorts to having to defend himself because it has gotten that bad, then he should.

    Now in other instances where the male will just hit a woman to gain control is wrong. For instance, she didn't get dinner done by the time he got home then bam black eye, now that's just wrong. I can also go on and on and list other instances but I think were all adult enough to know what I'm talking about.

    When there is abuse going on by one person to the other (there are instances where the male is the one who gets beaten by the female) it is a power source. Its a way of gaining control of another. They put fear in the other person. Fear of leaving because they might get beaten so bad or ever killed. This is so wrong.

    I myself have witnessed this growing up by watching my mother get beaten by a guy all the time ( not my father they divorced a long time before this) This man started beating up on her and my mom would try to fight back and in the end would not succeed. The man ended up taking ever belonging that we ever owned and left us homeless and living out of my moms car for an extended period of time. We then sought shelter a battered women's home and rebuilt our lives. I not do volunteer work with the place and help talk to the kids of these relationships and share my story and feelings I have with them. I still haven't completely gotten over that period in my life and I can tell by the way I treat relationships. I try not to get my emotions fully involved and remain there but sort of distant so at any time I can walk away and do not have to deal with any heartbreak or pain or anything else associated with relationships. I do have a counselor and I'm working on my emotional state to be a better person and have the capability to love another besides my parents.

    I'm 21 now and when the abuse happened I was 10 when it started and 13 when it ended. This just goes to show the lasting effects of these types of relationships especially when children are involved.

    • Right. I think chris and rhiana (sp?)are on everyone's minds right now. Maybe she started it, and maybe she didn't. But he went WAY too far by kicking the crap out of her.

    • I agree but usually after a beating the guy will woo her with gifts and sorry's and everything possible to try and get her back, that's why its called the honeymoon phase after a beating. If you read the posts he was sending her gifts and they were texting and talking, (of course it was her b-day) but I'm sure it will not be the only time we hear something like this, might not be for a while with the publicity, but something I'm sure will come to light.

What Girls Said 12

  • A: Justifiable in self defense, but he should hurt her as little as possible in the process of protecting himself

    However, physical violence is never okay in a relationship, no matter who starts it. The physical strength of a guy is usually quite a bit more than the physical strength of most girls. For that reason alone even, it's unfair for a guy to REALLY fight back, because he will cause a lot more damage to the girl than the girl did to him. I can understand like, grabbing a girl's arms and restraining her from throwing any more punches, but that's really as far as it should go unless you're like, about to be knocked out.

    Unless you're into S&M, hahaha, then have fun brawling.

  • men are bigger and stronger, I think they have the right to stop girls from hitting them, by force if necessary, but I don't think that they should strike strike girls back simply because men are capable of doing way more damage.

    • Yeah. I think guys tend to fight amongst themselves less than girls, just because we know we could seriously mess each other up. It's kind of like mutually assured destruction, haha.

    • We aren't any harder to hurt--an identical punch will hurt a guy just as bad as a girl. But we can hit harder. So we tend not to fight other guys unless we have to.

  • My first thought was a guy should NEVER hit girl but them after reading your poll well I picked the first one. There are cases of husband battering. However, sadly most of them do not get reported.

    • Yeah, because the guy would feel humiliated.

  • No it's never justifable to hit a girl, restrain her on the other hand would be acceptable.

    • I agree that would be ideal, and I hope that is what I would do.

      We are human, though.

  • i don't think it's ever ok for a guy to hit a girl.

    if a woman is hitting a man then its ok if he puts his hands up to protect himself but he should never lash out at the woman

    • Don't you think some girls might take advantage of that, and think they can just beat up any guy they want? Not all girls I nice people, I'm sure you know.

    • That's true but I still don't think that a guy should hit a woman. you can still defend yourself without hitting someone.

  • I voted A-if a girl provokes you (on purpose) then it's her own fault and if she hits you first then you should def protect yourself and give her a slap back or something but don't use all your force because you'll do more damage to her than she can do to you.

  • He should NEVER hit her,even if she slapped him or tries.

    • Then you should vote B

    • Show All
    • Playing devil's advocate--does that rule not give some women the feeling that they can do anything with impunity? Including hurting a guy?

    • It does-to a crazy person with some serious issues. There is no pleasure in fighting!!!


  • I voted the first one. I think that if a women hits you, you should deafened yourself but don't hit her so hard that you do damage.

  • the way you worded the choices in your poll is very biased, so I had a hard time voting.

    • Yeah, I know. lol. can you tell which answer I thought was right? haha

  • It depends on the situation, self defense yes, because your not going to just stand there and let her assault you. But guys should never get in a physical fight with a girl, only for self defense. I agree with mrsmolak. :)


What Guys Said 7

  • if she starts a physical fight, she might get a spanking :D

    • So why didn't you vote C?

  • My answer might start a flame war, but I voted C.

    My brother's first wife was a tiny little thing. She was very sweet and very fun to be with. We all adored her.

    Her first marriage was abusive, and she'd occasionally talk about how great my brother was, how glad she'd met a man who treated her well.

    Then, I saw a fight between them. And my eyes were opened. I was 18 or 19 when this happened.

    I was at their place. She was in a grumpy mood, but not bad. Then, something triggered her. I'm still not sure what happened. My brother said she'd occasionally blow a fuse, and he couldn't always tell why. He thought she might have been bi-polar.

    This occasion, she was like a 5'1" Incredible Hulk. I was in shock as I sat on the sofa and watched. He tried to be calm with her. That seemed to make her more angry. He tried to change the subject, and say that they shouldn't argue in front of company. She didn't seem to even notice me sitting on the sofa. He tried to be firm with her. She went nuts.

    In about 90 seconds, she'd gone from grumpy to screaming, yelling, saying horrible things, and shoving my brother. She was 5'1" and 100 pounds; he was 6'2" and 200 lbs -- and she was picking a fight with him.

    Hell, *I* wanted to punch her.

    My brother eventually swooped me out of their apartment and drove me home. He apologized and said she got crazy sometimes. She never apologized to me, never brought up the subject.

    They divorced about 6 months later. They'd been married about 18 months.

    Since then, I've realized that abusive relationships aren't always one-sided. It's like the old Sam Kineson joke: "I don't condone wife beating! I *understand* it, but I don't condone it! Might not want to be the deciding vote on a jury!"

    I could imagine my sister in law's first husband losing his cool (or taking the bait) and smacking her. Then the cops arrive, see this cute little women crying, with a black eye, and wonder what kind of monster could hit a defenseless woman...

    • Yeah, a byproduct of the sexual revolutiou, is a few crazy bitches who will try to brain you with frying pan

    • I should add that my "C" vote applies only to situations where a woman *provokes* a fight.

      If a guy's a bully, he's out of line.

  • Regardless of gender there is only one reason to ever hit someone, and that is in self defense or when defending someone else. And in that rare case, the gender of the person you're hitting doesn't matter.

    • Right, but it isn't that simple. think chris and rhiana. He says she came at him, let's assume for the sake of argument that is so. Did he have a right to hit her? I think so. But if you've seen the photo of her, you know that he beat the living you know what out of her. that isn't right.Even if she started it.

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    • Were you there? no, neither was i. all either of us have to go on is both of their words and for all we know they could both be lying. I know what's right and I know how I would react if I were put in a self defense situation. I don't know whether chris or rhianna's story is true. so what else matters?

    • Right, neither of us were there. But this incident can be used to spark a meaningful discourse between guys and girls on the subject of domestic violence.

  • men shouldn't hit women, if this is about chris brown haha

    tna has actually banned that type of action, guys aren't allowed to touch a female unless she provokes him

    we however, is still very "easy" on that type of thing, where men are allowed to, even if not provoked

  • My ex girlfriend kicked me in the balls for no reason. I told her I couldn't hit her and she broke up with me. I don't believe hitting girls is right. I didn't even think of hitting her.

  • Well, she asked for it and she deserved it.

  • yeah I've had an issue with this. A girl at my school would literally "come at me like a spider monkey" every day, She would dig her nails into my wrists and arms and scratch them to hell often drawing blood. So I wore long sleeve shirts, SO she started pulling my hair, one day she pulled hard enough to make big welts and bruises on my scalp.

    This whole time I was trying to "restrain her" rather than hit her. One day I came to school prepared to hit a girl with a closed fist for the first time in my life and I was ready to lay her out good. She didn't attack me that day, or ever again, a month later we were dating...

    Okay so this story makes no sense but still. I guess it shows a lesson, You shouldn't hit girls, but if you have no alternative, make sure you only have to do it once. And never if you start the fight. Also if a girl is attacking you regularly, ask her out, you might be surprised haha.

    For everyone wondering WHY she attacked me, it was because she did it to everyone but she focused on me because I was the only one who fought back, wish I had known that then.

    I come from a school where more fights break out among girls than guys and girls often beat up guys who won't fight back. Needless to say our "gentlemen" are all quite skilled in the art of restraint and fighting girls without hurting them.

    But in the case of a real fight where a woman really wants to physically hurt a man, I would have no problem breaking a woman's nose or wrist or leg if I had to in order to protect myself. That's just the way things are, however you have to be careful because men are often discriminated against in self defense against women...

    say there's an arguement, the man shakes the woman by the shoulders to get her attention or her to just shut up for a second. That's assault and he goes to prison/restraining order/sued/fined, ect.

    same argument only this time the women gets mad, stomps on the mans toe, breaking it, then knees him in the face when he bends over, shattering his nose, and to top it off she kicks him in the nuts causing him to pee blood for a week. She claims self defense and gets off free.

    sounds bad but there's no doubt in my mind its happened. An average man trying to claim self defense against an average woman ((without a gun/other deadly weapon)) won't get anywhere. yet women can attack a man and say self defense.

    For the record I have nothing against women and or feminists, I do have issues with some things our society does regarding stuff like this.

    • Good answer. kinky gf, sounds like