I have had an on and off kind of friendship with a guy for 4 years. We both have some commitment hang ups. Recently it's been going great and he...
I have had an on and off kind of friendship with a guy for 4 years. We both have some commitment hang ups. Recently it's been going great and he asked me to move in with him. His mom asked me to Thanksgiving dinner and my mom asked him to dinner. The he started acting weird and eventually said he needed a break. I found out he had been talking to another girl and they were supposed to go on a date. They went on the date , and he said it didn't go well. He has been texting and saying he was sorry for the last couple days. I haven't taken him back. Now he had the nerve to ask if I could still go to Thanksgiving dinner with him tomorrow and I said no. I just can't let him think it's OK to treat me this way, but truth is I do love him and eventually would take him back if he made an effort to get me back. Now he is just mad and says we probably just should talk and he thinks he just likes me as a friend anyway. Does he actually love me and what do I do next?
Ok, so I have been avoiding this guys phone calls for over a week now. He keeps telling me he loves me and other sweet things. How long do I let this go on? I want to give in a little but I'm just not seeing a huge effort. Is it wrong of me to want him to bring me flowers or go just one step further with it, or am I just living in a huge fantasy world? Is that just something you see in the movies? When do I know to take him back if at all?
You are a grown up women and you deserve to be treated as one so. He wants you to be there for him when he has no one to bring for Thanksgiving dinner or someone to think about when he's bored. It looks to me that he's only mad because everything didn't go according to him. And the only reason his telling you now that he loves you as a friend (but wanted before that to be with you) is because you didn't agree to play by his rules and be there for him when he needs you. If everything went well on that date with that other girl it wouldn't surprised me that he would have brought her to Thanksgiving dinner. If you still love him, give him another chance, talk to him, tell him how you feel and what you think. You know each other for 4 years and if that's not enough to see do you love someone or see someone just as a friend, then I don't know what is enough.
If he's so weak in trying to hold on to you, he will always have a weak connection and will tend to seek out other girls in this way.
I'd gently tell both moms that while you will always be a friend, you aren't going to be moving forward with this guy. 4 years is a long enough probation period, no? by now he'd know what he wants if he really felt any deep affedtion for you, and wouldn't be panting after other girls right before Thanksgiving, when most people don't want emotional turmoil!