Turned down the job. Still go for the girl?

Lately, I have been interviewing for jobs and got a couple of offers. I chose one over the other because it was a full-time position instead of an internship.

The catch is, at the company I turned down, I interviewed with a girl who I found attractive and thought I had a good connection with. Since she would have been at my same level and my start date was over a month away, I invited her to lunch during the week to learn about her experience at the company. Of course, the whole time I kept it professional because the job mattered the most to me. We were more friendly than flirty, but I got to know about her personally/outside of work more than I anticipated.

Since I didn't take that job, would it be okay now to ask her on a date? How can I bring it up to her without sacrificing my, and especially her, professional integrity? Also, I only have her office phone and office email right now. Should I ask for her cell number first so I could contact her about it outside of work?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it would be okay.. you guys are not associated really on a professional level because you DID turn the job down, and all that happened was an interview. I would say wait a little bit first, though it is a bit odd to have an email saying, "Hi thanks for taking the time to interview me, can I get your number" (I know you're not going to phrase it like that, but just the meaning in general lol)

    but yes, if you want to get to know her more, contact her outside of work. I think it would be hard no matter what, to approach it in a way that bridge the gap between professional and personal.


What Girls Said 3

  • I'd say why not! Maybe give her office a call and be like okay I know this might be crazy but I really enjoyed talking with you and wanted to give you my number. If you wanna get a coffee sometime or something just gimmy a call :)

  • go for it!


What Guys Said 1

  • Was she flirty at all with you? Lots of guys around your age do mistake polite professionalism as interest. If you sure she likes you, there's nothing ethically wrong with asking her out. Wait a week though, but not longer lest she forgets about you.

    Use her office email, a short message, something like you enjoyed the interview, you find her a smart and interesting girl, you'd like to get to know her outside of the workplace, and see what happens.