Are shy guys really "hard to get"?

so there's this guy (named R) in a club I'm in at my college. he's a sports journalist and seems like a nice, well spoken guy, just seems to be a bit quiet. we introduced ourselves at the club meeting and talked some on fb about majors and why we want to write, but hadn't really seen him since I stopped going to the meetings because of work. well I ran into him right before Thanksgiving at a school function and he immediately recognized me and I said hello back. I told my roommate I thought are was cute, and behind my back, my roommate went up to are and asked if he thought I was cute, are said yes, if he was interested, are said yes, and if he had a girlfriend, and are said no. my roommate gave him my phone number and asked are if he was actually going to give me a call or a text, and are said yes, he'd definitely text me. I didn't hear from him until Thanksgiving when I got a random text from a number I didn't know and it was are telling me happy thanskgiving and introducing himself. I said thanks and wished him well too, but haven't really talked since. I'm kinda shy too, but I kind of would like to get to know him... but I feel like not enough is there to try anything. what should I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He probably feels the same way you do. The only way to deal with a shy person is to take the initiative, because the shy person won't; that's the definition of being shy.

    When you've got TWO shy people, like him and you, then you have an even bigger problem, because there's no one who is naturally going to take the initiative. Very often, two shy people who like each other never get together, because neither one will make enough of a *sustained* effort to get past that initial awkward stage where neither believes that someone else actually likes them.

    Your roommate was playing wingman and got the ice broken for the both of you, but you both failed to keep things rolling. If you want this to have any chance of working, YOU are going to have to start initiating, and soothing HIS fears, so that he believes that you are actually interested in him. Once he is convinced, he will probably take over from there, as he gets more comfortable with you, but you've GOT to get some momentum going, and he's clearly too shy to do that himself, even though it sounds like he wants it as much as you do.