Do I have to start going out to meet guys?

Im 20 and have never been with a guy. I'm shy at first but with certain people, I can get over it.bim generally a quiet person, but I have my days when I feel very talkative. I'm just not the partying type. I'm a goody two shoes so yeah... I always try to do the right thing.

So I know if I had to meet guys, the clubs or bars aren't for me. Ill be 21 in 6 months so I know my friends are going to drag me down to the bars when I am old enough.

Anyway, I'm in college and the guys there are cool but I'm not interested in them that way. At work, I'm a receptionist so I meet many guys but again, I just don't see them that way.

I rarely go out. Once in a while, I go out for lunch with my friends. Its a pretty long lunch break. ( about 2 to 3 hours. Haha) so we hang out for a bit.

but honestly, it scares me to meet guys outside of my usual spots. I'm used to meeting guys at school, like I did in high school, but I Haven't met anyone in college. At work, I developed feelings for this guy but I think I grew tired of waiting and I'm too scared to show interest. he's a customer so I only see him once a month so I'm tired of.waiting around like an idiot so I'm just going to move on.

So now, I feel really lame because I still Haven't done anything with a guy and my friends, the older ones who are around 28+ are all settled down with kids(I don't compare myself to them of course, since they're older), and my only friend from high school has now started to mess around with guys. we used to be both single and clueless about guys, now she messes around with them. I don't think she has relationships, she just messes around with them. I want something more serious though. Not to settle down yet, but I don't want to just sleep around.

Anyway, so will I have to get out of my.comfort zone? How do I meet guys though, if I'm scared to talk to guys I meet in the street?


Most Helpful Guy

  • it really sounds like you don't like guys at all. I mean you don't like guys at you're college? wtf. a tiny college will still have hundreds of guys, yet you say you don't like them...or the guys at work. so its painfully clear that you have to decide what you want before you go looking for it.

    • Well I meant to say I don't like the ones I have met. I don't see them as more than friends. The guys that come to my job are either too old, or married. I don't want to be after married men. I'm not a homewrecker.

      so I don't know if to keep waiting to see if I meet someone I like at school, or do I have to take a different approach to meeting guys.

    • well my advice it to take full advantage of being in college. it never gets easier than that

What Guys Said 8

  • Try going to coffee shops or other hang-outs, and smile at any guy who looks like hte's there for the same reason.

    Also, join clubs for people with your interests, or attend a class in a new subject. In other words, go into new places that are stll in your comfort zone , rather than testing bars and clubs. As you say, they aren't for good girls anyway.

  • Read my guide for shy girls here:


    Once you've read it, come back and comment on what areas you need to work on.

  • This...was eerie to read. Your life mirrors mine exactly, and I mean EXACTLY. Hell, we're even around the same age AND have the same kind of best friend.

    Beyond the normal advice (get out, join clubs, etc) I don't know what to say. Drop me a message if you ever come up with a solution, because god knows I could use the help.

    But look on the bright side. You're a girl. Guys approach YOU.

    So, yeah, I'm pretty much screwed lol

  • be glad you don't have to initiate anything, so social-skills, conversation-skills, social-awkwardness will not hurt a girl as much as it will hurt a guy

    • Really? It feels like it kind of does. I think some guys might be afraid to approach because I never show interest. Or if someone tries to talk to me, I give one work answers because I'm so nervous. sometimes I think I look really stupid because I look down a lot and can't even talk right. Its hars on girls too. I don't think guys would approach someone who doesn't look interested.

    • still almost all girls are old-fashioned

  • Try joining a club.

  • Like getting a job, they aren't going to just come to have to be proactive about it and go out

  • Imagine being a guy and having to do all the work while being as shy as you are. You don't really have to get out of your comfort zone, just go to places where people are and some guy will make a move.


What Girls Said 1

  • No, you don't have to go out to meet a guy lol

    I'm cupid! and this--> dude is looking for you.

    • Oh if you are playing cupid, find one for me too please. :)

    • Show All
    • omg help me out CUPID where can I find a purfect girl?!?!?

    • AHAHHAHA I was fired! from that job :[