I don't think its fair that I'm not allowed to hang out with other guys?

My boyfriend and I were talking last night, and since we ran out of things to say we started asking each other questions. (Very normal) After awhile I asked him, does he care if I hangout with other guys and if so why. He told me it really bugged him, and that he would really like it if I stopped hanging out with other guys. He won't tell me the reason to why he doesn't like it, just that he doesn't.

I don't think its fair that I'm not allowed to hang out with other guys, but he hangs out with other girls almost more than he hangs out with me. If I tell him that it bugs me when he hangs with other girls I'll seem jealous (which I'm not)

What do I do? Do I continue to hang with other guys, or honor what he wants and stop?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Any guy is going to be a little bit protective of his girl, which is fine. But sometimes its just too much jealousy.

    Id be uncomfortable if the guy friend liked her. It wouldn't be about not trusting her, it'd just be not trusting him. Other guy friends, obviously if theyre just friends theyd respect her relationship. however if they have feelings for her than they'll have their own agenda

    otherwise, I think its totally fine. My girlfriend has some guy friends, I have some chick friends. there's some occasionaly jealousy but its harmless, because in the end you have to have trust in your partner.

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What Guys Said 7

  • He can't have it both ways, but even if he could, he'd need to give you a reason, and it would need to be a legit reason. You need to tell him exactly what you wrote in this question, and then tell him that before you can even consider changing something like this for him, he'd need to be fully open with you about his reasons and feelings. Otherwise, it can't be important enough to make any changes.

  • I think both of you should draw your own personal boundaries.

    If you are having some kind of discomfort because of the acts of your partner, it's best if you inform him how you don't want it to be. I think making him guilty by doing your part by respecting his wishes would do the job.

    His wishes are not fair, given his action. It's best to respect each others' wishes and be faithful to your partner vice versa.

  • He is jealous, and no, don't stop hanging with other guys, otherwise he will begin to control who your friends are, he will want you to stop hanging with all of them, because he is all you need, so tell him he has a problem and unless he is willing to drop his female mates for you, then not to suggest it from you, but don't ever accept his answer as something you would ever do, its all about him controlling you and you saying how high when he says jump. Get rid of this loser before he treats you like an object he won and now owns. My sister got into a relationship like this, and it started exactly the same way,x

  • I mean it might bother me. If I'm around, I wouldn't other guys around. That beibg said, me as the boyfriend, I would not be hanging around with other girls and if I do, she would either be around or I would tell her I am and make it clear they are just platonic friends, nothing romantic/sexual involved. I would expect the samething from the girl with her guy friends. But, he can't have both ways. Don't hangout with other girls behind his back. But, let him know and put your foot down about him hanging out with other girls. The reason deep down he is upset, is that he is being hurt by you hanging with other guys. A guy wants to be his girlfriends biggest fans and it makes a guy uneasy when he sees she has multiple fans, even if they're just friends. Guys just don't like to talk about their feeling and got a weird way of showing emotion as to not leak weak. But, we still do have them and get our feelings hurt just as much and as bad as women do. Its just how we carry our selves.

  • Hang with whomever you want.

    Either he has control issues or he is insecure and jealous.

    Whichever it is, the problem is his and he needs to address it within himself.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think you should be allowed the freedom to hang out with guys. He hangs out with girls, doesn't he? It is only healthy to be surrounded by others and friends. I understand where he is coming from, if I were in a relationship I'd be weary of having girls around my boyfriend. But honestly, you need other people in your life outside of his circle of friends. Maybe introduce him to them so he knows to not worry and be very open about hanging out with them. Hopefully this will put him more at ease :)

  • If he can hang out with girls then you can hang out with guys. I always find it suspicious when a guy has double standards like that and I am usually right.

  • Do not let him tell you who you can and can not hang out with! ESP if he hangs out with other women

  • tell him how you feel and yes you should continue hanging out with other guys he is being jealous himself and if he don't like it you to we just not meant to be

  • Why don't you say that to him? Tell him, "How can it bug you for me to hang out with other guys, while you hang out with other girls? If you want me to stop, you need to stop."

    Guys honestly do this all the time. They get so jealous of your actions, while they're doing the same things and worse.