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How big a role does physical attraction play?

I recently reconnected with an old friend of mine. I hadn't seen her in a few years. We went out to lunch and hung out for a long time today. She is very cool and I think I may have some feelings for her. However, there is not a lot of physical attraction. As in if I didn't previously know her I probably would not go after her. I know everyone says it's what's on the inside that counts, or maybe I'm just a bit shallow. But I physical attraction is necessary in a relationship. So would you go out with someone you weren't attracted to?

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I have dated guys I'm not attracted to. If it's just 'a date' , then no biggie. This is someone with whom you've been aquainted for a long time though, so in this case I say no, don't do it. My reasoning is that physical attraction and the physical relationship is one of the main ingredients that makes a friendship into a romance. I dated a guy for 4 years from the age of 16-20, purely for who he was. I loved him, there is no doubt, but I was not physically attracted to him. We really were just the best of friends and guess what? That relationship expired. Not due to this issue, and had we not had our problems I may very well have married him at a young age and I would have spent a lot of time contemplating the 'what if's'. I've changed so much now I know we would have grown apart. With age and experience comes confidence and a better sense of who you are and what you want out of life. It takes more than a partner in your life, we all need others in our lives, so maybe this girl is meant to be a really good friend to you. I'd wait to date someone that you ARE physically attracted to. There is nothing wrong with wanting a woman on your arm that you're proud of for who she is AND for her beauty.

What Girls Said 17

  • It matters a lot, but sometimes it doesn't strike immediately like lightning. I'd recommend to hang out with her a few more times as friends to see if you notice anything about her you find physically attractive. Females tend to give more leeway on a lack of physical attraction than guys do, but that ends up leading to trouble if either partner is uninterested in a sexual relationship. I don't think physical attraction is a yes or no answer, it has degrees.

  • If I like a guy for his personality, I tend to find him more physically attractive as I get to know him.But yeah, physical attraction is somewhat important. It would be very hard for me to go out with someone if I am not attracted to them whatsoever. However, I would not pass up my soul mate because he is not 100% attractive to me.

  • If I'm very attracted to the persons personality then I can find them more physically pleasing than I may have before.

  • Without physical attraction, I wouldn't start anything.

  • I need it. He doesn't have to be model gorgeous or anything, but he definitely needs to catch my eye. In my experience, when I date a guy only for personality then the relationship fails because I am never interested in anything physical with them (even simple things like kissing). So IMO for a good relationship there needs to be physical attraction and a good personality.

  • What's on the inside definitely counts for the most part! But without physical attraction any potential relationship is doomed to fail. You need to be physically attracted to someone to want to Purdue your relationship further

  • Physical attraction is typically what makes someone go up to someone or rather what gets someone initially interested in someone. It's the personality that gets someone to stay. I would go out with someone I wasn't attracted to. Looks are definitely not a reason to turn someone away.

  • I agree, however, you do not need a one hundred percent physical attraction to them (eg. you don't have to think EVERYTHING about them is physically attractive). I think that you should really take a good look at this girl and figure out what you like about her (both physically and mentally) and figure out if it worth getting into a relationship her. She is probably an amazing person, but if the physcial appearance is a hang up for you, then you should really just remain friends because I do not think this type of attraction grows over time since it is usually the first method of attractions humans encounter. All the best of luck

  • looks are the first thing that attract us to someone..i won't lie...they are imp..i woudnt be atracted to sum1 who isn't good looking ...but maybe if you get to know them...things can change...but yes physical attraction is what usually gets things going..without it its really hard to start anything and you have to be so pure to actually look bey0nd that :)

  • I wouldn't opt to be in a relationship where there's no physical attraction, and I'd hate it if a guy "settled" for me if he felt none.

  • well, you have to be somewhat physically attracted to them. even if there's only a couple nice physical features you like about themfor me, sometimes, a guys personality, or just the way he does things brings some sort of physical attraction.

  • you are right, there has to be some physical attraction. I have never dated anyone that I didn't have some physical attraction to. I don't know if it's something that can happen over time or not. However what's inside does count and if you are having some feelings for her despite the lack of physical attraction it may be worth pursuing. Think about this...what if you had a very strong physical and emotional attraction to someone and your relationship on both levels was fabulous and then that person suffered some sort of accident which resulted in her physical appearance being altered (not in a good way)...would you end the relationship because of that?

  • I couldn't. I could not have sex with someone I am not attracted to and sex is a fairly important part of a relationship. Like it or not it is. It's not shallow it's human. Shallow is expecting someone to look perfect for you to be physically attracted to them. Or to only care about physical attraction. For it to be a part of your attraction to someone only means you are human. Look how many girls end up settle with a guy who they are not attracted to physically, just emotionally then the guy cheats because they never have sex. I am not saying it's an excuse for the guy to cheat, I am just saying this often happens when people deny that part of themselves.

  • Well before I really knew my now boyfriend I didn't really have a physical attraction to him. I didn't find him repulsive-looking lol but he was not someone I'd take a double look at really. When we started hanging out and he was always making me laugh and being really sweet and genuine, I started thinking he was cuter and cuter and now think he's the sexiest guy ever. So I don't know. If you can't see yourself developing an attraction like this, then I'd stop looking at her as a romantic possibility.

  • I don't think physical attraction plays a huge role. That being said it does play a role. But if you think you like her hen why not go for it.

  • Yeah I would. I was in a relationship with someone I wasn't really attracted to physically but he became my boyfriend of 3 years. But as time goes by I was interested physically anyway. Plus I lost my vcard to him. But nowadays I'm more interested in guys I'm physically attracted to.

What Guys Said 5

  • It's true that for women, it's what is on the inside that counts when they are trying to find attractive males. Some females find Johhnny Depp to be extremely attractive, however most doesn't find him as such.In my case, as a guy, I always go for women whom I find attractive physically.As for women, it's the other way around.

    • Not really, I think the vast majority of women want to be physically attracted to their partner.. there's no getting round it being important to everybody really.

    • You are wrong Aercz it's what is on the inside and outside. We are just like you guys even if so many girls are afraid to admit it. It's in our nature.

  • the looks have to be passable...as in being able to lok at the person without being repulsed. This probably counts for about 40% of "total attraction".All the other intangible factors ma. I say this is about 60% of "total attraction".

  • A big one. Looks matter to both parties.

  • i haven't been in a relationship before, but I have been attracted to girls who in my opinion were average looking girls but their personalities were so attractive to me, it sort of made me forget about their appearance. sometimes their sense of style with their great personality sometimes makes them seem more cute to me.

  • attraction is usually quite important. But if you feel happy next to her then you shouldn't dismiss her I think.

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