In relationship with best friend! Don't know what to do!? Ladies, please help!

She was one of my best buddies for about 6 months. I realized how much I had started to fall for her. So I asked her out. But she had just come out of a relationship so she said she wasn't ready and wanted to remain friends for sometime. I agreed. Later, she started ignoring me and I got really annoyed. I tried to rationalize with her but failed. So I cut all my connections to her for about 3 months. 2 and a half weeks ago, she was in serious trouble and it was then that she texted me about how sorry she was and how she had realized her mistake. For a week after that we kept emailing each other about how much we miss each other. But then things got a little worse last week and I decided that I wasn't going to hurt myself again. Last Friday she texted me that she wanted to give it a shot if I was up for it. I had a little talk with her bestie who told me everything I needed to know to be sure. The next day she was in the city, which is far off from the university campus, so I met her there and we went for the first date. It went pretty well. Next day, being Sunday, I took her to a movie and for lunch. All seemed fine till then and she kept telling me how much she had missed me. But now that we're at the campus again, she keeps arguable distance from me. The comfort level is not the same as we had when we went on the two dates. She keeps insisting that we hang out with my group of friends, when what I really want is to have some time with her alone. So I asked her if she was feeling awkward with the whole thing. She said she was. And she said it'd take her some time to be completely normal. I figured that she's very shy and so I agreed to let her have the time she needs. But yesterday I was about to advance-book the tickets for a movie that she really wants to see, for this coming Sunday. She agreed to it first but then she suddenly changed her mind. Her bestie tells me that she thinks things are going too quick for her.

Now, I'm ready to slow down... I don't mind at all! But can you ladies please tell me what all I could do to make her feel more comfortable? I just want her to be normal around me. I don't want her to be conscious all the time!

Any advice will be appreciated!


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    Its very weird going that huge jump from friends to dating. its like, now instead of wearing no makeup you have to get all cute just to see you. its like a whole new level of how you need to present yourself. its probably hard for her because of this, and kissing her old friend turned boyfriend. Plus she probably doesn't want to rush into something and get hurt again, since she just got out of a relationship.

    -love Sosa

    • just be less awkward around her, try not to rush into a lot of affection (hugging and kissing especially in public)

      -love Sosa

    • I get it.. But my question is, what can I do to make her more comfy?

  • We are complicated lol. Straight up ask her. Tell her you don't want to rush things and are willing to cater to her needs. If she prefers to play video games, go for it! A stroll through the campus, hell ya! Ask her what she wants to do. Allow her to decide the outlines of the date. If you want to suggest a date, give options. This will allow you to gauge yourself for that night. (Movie, video games, shopping mall, or chilling at your place)

  • You played your cards correctly the first time when you stopped calling her and she got interested. Do the same thing again this time and see how she reacts.