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Why do girls tend to fall for jerks?

it really bothers me to know that many girls don't know how much they worth.. being cheated on, ignored, feeling insecure, & etc they still pu8t up... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • Girls go for jerks because they turn them on! Simple.

    Jerks are confident, have charisma, have a passion for life, don't give a sh*t about confirming to the norm, have high social status, tend to dress well, tend to have a good body, and they know (naturally or learnt through experience) how to mess with women's emotions (which they like deep down).

    The 'nice-guys' tend to lack in these things. They have no confidence, pander to women and treat them like infallible princesses, fear rejection, fear being different, fear messing with people's emotions, they don't have alpha male body language or speech patterns.

    Hence why I've learnt to be a bit of an asshole. I was always the nice guy - I had charisma and I have money (so I can afford to have sharp clothes and go out on pricey dates) so I could get the numbers and first dates. But nothing beyond that because I didn't want to 'rush things' and I couldn't form the sexually charged emotional bond.

    Now I know how to act like an alpha male jerk. I spend nothing on girls for the same night lay except maybe taxi fare. For first dates I might buy a drink. From being a virgin I'm now a bonafide player.

    • Good stuff! Same here!

    • Show Older
    • So your basically admitting to being a manipulative chickensh*t in order to attract sucka-ass females who are either too naive to know better or they are just dumb... ooh... we should all be so jealous... WHATEVER...

    • 6 counts of shaming language. Congrats, we have a new record.

      Manipulative? No, it's being aware. Women it every time they put on makeup and tight clothing.

      Naive women? No, just women in general. There is a strong biological imperative for them to like dominating men.

      Dumb? Hell no. Smart girls are the best for it. You can actually maintain a conversation and build up both rapport and comfort.

      Jealous? It's envy by the way. Keep believing women today deserve chivalry, and see where that gets you.

What Guys Said 57

  • Why don't some people look if the subject isn't already running on a thread before asking a question?

    Just one quick peek: link (with slightly different search terms I'd find much more), look: link

  • There are three completely seperate factors contributing to this.

    The first one is because women want the guy to approach them in most cases and won't approach the guy themselves. This usually ends up blowing up in their faces because the kind of confidence needed to be able to approach a girl like that usually goes hand-in-hand with the jerk personality type. The guys who are nice enough to treat a girl like he respects her are usually too shy to make a move in the first place, so they stay invisible to the girls.

    The second one is because women don't want a perfect man. They want to take a man who is imperfect and mold him into the perfect man. They want to take the jerk and turn him into the nice guy because, as Parisa said, they feel it is some sort of ultimate validation of their worth as a woman, to get a bad boy to settle down and change his ways for you.

    The third and final reason is because human beings are animals, and in all animals, the female of the species is attracted to what is referred to as the "alpha male." It is part of your genetic coding. And while some women have evolved past this, many haven't. The problem with this is because the qualities that define an "alpha male" translate to being a sociopathic jerk. Think about it: The alpha male is the strongest, the toughest, and quickest to fight in the animal kingdom. He is the one most likely to provide for his family and protect them. He is the one most likely to answer challenges from other males and will go to any length to emerge victorious from those challenges, and he is the most territorial. Translate this into human behavior: Quick to fight over stupid BS, overprotective, clingy, ,possessive, controlling, and quick to resort to violence over stupid meaningless reasons. This is your "alpha male." And this is the male you are genetically predispositoned to like. If you're one of the women who have evolved past it, great. But if not, you've only got more relationships with jerks in store for you.

    • This is wise words.

      It's the truth most women is blind to.

    • Those three observations are all true. However, as someone who has dated jerks and is now looking on the other side of the tracks, I can say that the confidence that jerks tend to exude (ie. they pursue girls) as well as the ideal of being able to change a guy, are big things leading to the initial attraction. Girls see the fixing up as a challenge for themselves, for a guy to say "you've changed me" is a huge compliment for women.

  • Because most of the time jerks are more daring, more exciting, and more attractive to the oblivious girl.

    • Any guy can be fun to hang with and daring and attractive and is not a jerk . I don't see why you say a jerk is.

    • I said... "most" of the time a jerk resembles those qualities. Not every guy, who is nice, is that well put.

  • Ironpanther12 hit it right on the head, girls like bad boys because they feel "safe" with them.

    Funny thing is, I'm another one of those nice guys who gets stuck in the friend zone, but that's because I don't go around instigating things and getting into fights, if I did I'd have the same appeal as those "bad boys".

  • I want to know this same thing. Honestly, after everything I've been through, I do NOT feel bad for girls that go through this stuff. The vast majority do it to their own damn selves. They can go cry to someone who actually gives. It's ridiculous. I suffer BS from this myself because I'm a nice guy. It's just an excuse for girls...what else could it be?

    • I hear what you are saying but there are too many jerks running around. Read the guy below you, Valentin87. Those are all the reasons and we do it. We want a bad boy with good guy qualities. hard to find those 2 combinations. Again, there are too many bad guys out there that give good guys like you a bad name. Vice versa with girls but for some reasons bad boys are exciting and more confident and that attracts us a lot but we wish they would treat us respectfully is the only issue.

    • Show Older
    • Btw, the above post that I just wrote is not me bein a dick. It's me being straight forward and to the point. I'm not saying guys don't do anything wrong, but women are the initial start of the F* up. Anyone can disagree or flame me if they choose to, but considering the experiences I've heard of and been through...I stand by my thoughts and feelings 900%.

    • I agree guys are usually the ones that want to be together but girls are weird sometimes with playing hard to get, dropping hints that we can't read, and many other things. However guys aren't perfect either and we tend to make a lot of mistakes too as you said. It's just that guys are more straightforward then girls usually. I'm not saying it's a bad thing that girls aren't as straightforward it just can be confusing at times.

  • This is because a guy will make a list of pros/cons and make a decision based on it.

    A girl, even if the cons outweigh the pros, she'll stay with him because the "but I still love him" speech.

    • LOL!!!!!!!!!That's,so TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • since you are a girl shouldnt you already know the answer to this? my guess would because when a guy treats a girl like mean/crappy and he's a jerk to her, it revalidates how she really feels about herself and that feels right to her. and a girl wants what feels right. that makes sense doesn't it?

    • Umm don't quite agree with you....

  • I could say the same exact thing about females, its give or take, just got to find the right person and make the right choices.

  • Because the jerks are the ones that usually have the confidence to make the moves on the girls . And like others said.. some girls actually try to change the bad boys.

  • For real most girl don't know what they want and just follow the tend and then it becomes a habit that they follow.

    Badboys seem more interesting to girls at times and ,so they go with him.

    The nice guy seems more boring to girls at times and ,so they reject him.

    There will always be a guy for a girl and a girl for a guy,but first you gotta know what you truly want and go for it.


  • It is most likely because our society doesn't cherish good moral values... and like many other posters have said the jerk female doesn't see anything wrong with the jerk male.

  • It really depends on what you and these other girls posting on the deffffination of JERK is?

  • it's because those guys who you call jerks know all the right tactics and know all the right buttons to push to get what they want. the nicer guys aren't as likely to step out and grab you as the leech-like jerks are. You probably should start looking among the more assertive men

  • Attraction isn't a Choice

  • Thnk about it. How much work does it REALLY take to hang on to a jerk?

  • some girls see it as a challenge to change the jerk into a nice guy.

    some fall for the jerk not knowing he's a jerk cause he's soo confident and


  • Well to be honest the girls that end up with a jerk are the ones that only go for the jerks in the first place, so many times I have been pushed aside for some idiot only for it to end in a single mother with depression or an abusive relationship.

    You reap what you sow girls, don't see too many dungeons and dragons fans beating their wives with light sabres and cheating with a girl who applies spot cream better.

    • Someone living in denial, don't vote down unless you can offer a reason, coward.

  • Because they see it happen in movies all the time and think that that is what they are supposed to do.

  • Girls today are getting what they deserve. The problem is most girls have entitlement issues and want things they don't deserve. There is a difference you see. ;)

    • Oh wow haha...i can agree with you..sort of. a lot of girls DO get exactly what they deserve. but don't generalize, there's definitely girls that deserve real awesome guys ;)

  • Stupid girls fall for jerks because they think it's expected of them. Doing what's expected of you takes less effort than thinking does.

    Smart girls occasionally fall for jerks because, at first, they don't realize the guy is a jerk. Then they dump the jerk and look for guys who don't act like they're still in high school. Once they find a guy who isn't a jerk, they have fulfilling relationships and fantastic sex.

    That's pretty much the whole story.

  • Valentin87 made the most good points. Bottom line is that girls find jerks/bad boys more attractive. They are more "Mr. Right Now" than "Mr. Right" My problem is not that I'm overly nice, I'm just shy. Girls want an exciting guy, usually because they can't make their own life exciting on their ow so its easier to find a guy that will do that for them. I think that is a big difference between guys and girls and the reason they get into a relationship. Girls crave excitement from a relationship; which is understandable, but they'll often put that excitement over qualities like fidelity, trust, and commitment.

    Also, "nice guys" (but I refer to the confident nice guys, not the OVERLY nice wussy guys) are not as exciting.

    Frankly, if I could turn myself into a confident jerk I would, it's much better than the opposite role. At least as a jerk I could get girls easier. I wish I had a confident jerk to tutor me, lol.

    • I don't understand these guys.. they all seem to only care about the point .." I can't get this girl easy"

      if you want an easy girl. hey mister go right ahead, lets see if you can really feel for her..

    • I don't want "easy" girls. I don't like being one of those guys who complains that "nice guys finish last" but the fact is the "jerks" get girls easier than I ever could, usually because they are good-looking so girls are blind to anything else. Meanwhile I would treat a girl right, but I'm not interesting or confident enough for most girls compared to the jerks. Not that I'm talking myself down, that's just what girls think of me. I know it's hard to understand being on the other side of it.

    • It just gets frustrating when girls know that they go for jerks, and still do it. And when they meet a decent guy they aren't interested because he isn't as exciting as the jerks she's used to. I don't buy that girls can't tell a guy isn't going to work out or treat her right; but I maybe when they get infatuated with a guy at first they think he is perfect and are blind to the telltale signs. Most people are very transparent and easy to read. At least for me they are, lol.

  • I could never figure that out either, but its their loss = /

  • "confusion"

    mail pro..so next tim don't go only fo looks baby..

  • Because nice guys don't like to put girls in a situation there not comfortable in , nice guys will always finish last. :(

    jerks couldn't care less if they , make a girl look or feel stupid

  • Girls are taught from a young age that when a guy is mean it means he likes you. Case in point when you were 5 and some boy punched you in the arm you went and told your mom. What did she say? Awe he punched because he has a crush on you. You have just been programed.

    Also women like stray puppies. Girls like the edge of a bad boy jerk and are annoyed by the wear your heart on you sleeve good boys. So girls that like to try and change things and train things to work the way they like the think what should be easier? Changing a edgy guy to a nicer guy and keep his edge or change the p**** in to more of an edgy guy? Well she says I already got a p**** maybe I can change this jerk into what I want. Yet girls never get they can't change anyone that has no reason to change. Girls don't give these guys boundries which is what they really crave to be happy so the guy runs them over. I would like to say its not there fault but it is. Girls should look for the edgy sweet guys they exist and if girls only dated them that is what all guys would adapt to. Girls can learn a lot about how to be more selective on artofcharm.com

    • "he's just not that into you" ?

    • It is relivent it is based on really social studies.

  • Okay

    its the emotional roller coasters that these men give these women

    the men give the women emotional spikes and it makes them feel alive

    its something interesting for them

    the women hope to change the men, but the men hope to keep things the same.

    if 2 men exactly the same




    4-temperment (loud/quiet)

    and 5-confidence

    I bet you the jerk would be taken more often than the other

    its a sad world and not many people know how to make emotions spark without hurting the other

  • I think deep down, a lot of girls actually like to be abused, because they grew being abused and so they get used to it and think it's normal.

  • try a shy guy...might be different...they just need time to open up...stick with jerks and you're just like the rest

  • We have to with the modern woman cause unlike what we thought when we were young there is literally no chance of marrying a virgin. I know that's not fair but stats say its true. Woman now want to be independent which is not their natural human characteristics so males are trying to adept but to what, and for what we love them but are just as quick to say bitch or slut cause the older beliefs are lost in women at younger ages and then brought back with age so either way guys get the short end of the stick she's no longer pure.

    yet in still she wants a white dress not knowing it means your a virgin lol America please stop the white its a lie. She can go to church with her bastard child and her baby daddy and they feel accomplished and satisfied. So this is what we should respect, honor, love, I'd say its all just second rate not as beautiful a reunion of couples as it could be.

    Ask any woman born of the 80's and she'd wish she would have waited but didn't. Think two people can sign a contract a bidding agreement that the army will send you to jail for theirs and many other companies but for marriage which you take an oath to death do you apart sickness and health better or worst you can write a pre-nup lol dismissing everything you just said. They would stone females for being cheating now a days just get a divorce. Marriage is no longer forever its just not the same. So really we are just picking up on your own lack of respect for yourselves. It can come from not being able to have our security which was she is waiting till marriage. There was even times not long ago that if a woman was not a virgin she could not marry but now adays we all bend the rules cause sorry but yall no longer have what it takes. further more I will continue to be an ASSHOLE!

    • Whoa, cheer up.

      Where do you live ? We aren't all the same. Some of us have values. Sadly, women as much as men are losing them.

  • I blame girls. I act like a jerk around girls because that's what they like. I'm a nice guy but I can't get girls that way.

    I hate how girls end up getting hurt due to jerks but won't date nice guys.

    • Lol I know plenty of guys like you

  • Show More

What Girls Said 25

  • Personally because they have the acting thing down,and sadly they know how play the game right.In most cases its not because we want to fall for them,but they come up to us and make us feel like they have good intentions.After that we try talking to them and over time we fall for them(if he looks good that's just easier).Jerks tend to know what to say that makes us feel like we are going to be the only female.Once we fall for them it's not so easy to fall out,by that point we trust them and believe every word they say.I might be speaking for myself now,since he looks for me over again I'm thinking that he really changed.But that's my fault to because I want things to be how they use to when he cared and checkd on me to c if I was okay.We let them back into are lives so easily that they know we are always her.I know I deserve better I honestly do but I can't do much about it.Because it's difficult for me to let go of the person that I fell in love with at one point.He ignores me now,but he wasin't the guy that I met when we first talked.

    • I don't understand how all these female answers say that the jerks say they like them a lot first and then show their real side that they don't. It has to be something else because when a guy tells a girl he likes her, she usually will tell the guy to fuk off for being needy

  • i think sometimes it could be due to the environment you're in. for me, both my parents weren't a significant part of my life

    my dad left me when I was young

    my mom is verbally abusive

    i tend to do things on me own and I'm strong enough to

    i did go out with a jerk and it was because I was niave and because I wanted to feel happy but it ended in me going to counselling and therapy

    so sad things do happen and I just hope that other girls don't do the same mistakes. and also not to look down or be condescending towards girls who were victims in abusive relationships.

    so there are a few reasons why it happens

    • Im sorry to hear that

  • Cause we like the excitement and the thrills at the beginning and nice guys are boring

  • my mom has this theory that evry jerk (male AND female) find good persons to be with.. and vice versa

  • It's possible the guys made themselves out to be a really nice guy, got the girl to fall for him, then completely changed his personality. (Personal experience)

    I guess it's a learning experience.

    I have a friend that's attracted to guys that are a little (not too much) mean to her, and I never really understood why.

    It's hard to say the exact reason, but eventually most girls gain enough respect for themselves and find nice guys. Although, some never learn.

  • Because every girl wants to be the girl that changes a guy. It's the ultimate validation of her worth- I love you so much and you are so amazing that I will stop being a jerk and start being Mr Perfect. Sometimes we are, most of the time we're not.

    • Aaahhh I think this is very interesting... it makes sense.

    • Show Older
    • Sorry. But it doesn't work like that man.

    • Good point!

  • I think you pretty much nailed it right there in your question...

    I think many women do not value themselves highly enough. Our society pretty much makes it seem like if you don't have someone then you are a failure. For example, that old saying that if a woman hasn't married before she is 40 then there is something wrong with her. I think it makes us feel desperate, and needy...Which is sad...lol...We have something guys want...and they want it bad...If more women really realized it...well...would be better for all of us. Sadly, I am just learning these lessons at the ripe old age of 47. Which just goes to show ya, it is never too late to learn. I have a guy who I believe is interested, and, when we go out...well, not gonna just jump into bed with him...if he wants it...well, gotta show me that he is worth my time and effort.

    Anyway...that's what I think


  • ive been hurt so many times...i always go for the jerks...and it becasue they always go for me..like I ain't easy or nothin I'm a virgin? half of them leave me cause I won't have sex with them...the most I've ever been played was by this boy who acted like he caredc bout me..and he didn't even do it for one night he did it for a whole weekend..i hung out with him everyday and night..it was cute he would hold my hand while I drove...he would talk bout the future...he always wanted what was best for me..we went swimmin at the lake together and we would take naps together...i miss him so much and I miss it..he pretty much left me at the lake one day when he said he was going to the store..he never came back..and I've only seen him a few times since..but we don't talk..like those kinda boys make me wanna give up on boys overall cause even when you think they are different they never really are =/

    • Omg same crap here!..freaken buttholes.I'm tell you they make you think they really care and if we don't put out they leave.

    • Show Older
    • The problem with that is because confidence and being that kind of jerk go hand in hand. 95% of the time if a guy gets up the guys to approach you they're a jerk. The ones who are nice enough to actually care about you and respect you are mostly too shy to actually move in.

    • Who wants a girlfriend that you can't touch? You better off being just friends or nothng, too much temptation and waste of time.. It's not about being a jerk. Plus you are trying to control the relationship by acting that way, and a relationship should be 50/50, no one mature enough wants to put up with that nonsense.

  • i do believe girls go for jerks because to be honest its ridiculously hard to find a none jerk guy! At first I suppose you start of saying I won't go for nothing but the best but as time passes on you kinda realize that there is no Mr Perfect and that pursuing such a dream will leave you single for the rest of your life... so you gradually start relaxing your standards and amazingly the more relaxed your standards are the more potential guys you get, hence in come the jerks and no matter what crap he does you think if I leave him I'll prob get another nit with or worse and so you tend to stick to the devil you know... pathetic I know but that's how it normally happens.

    • how about approaching the guys you like?

  • though I'm a girl myself and I don't believe this applies to me, but in my opinion most girls are dense and desperate for boyfriends. most girls think they can get by with having a boyfriend with looks alone. they will soon learn the bitter truth after they start treating them like sh*t. either that or they have a good looking jerk just to show off that they have a hot boyfriend. hopefully they will learn from their mistakes.

  • In my opinion, anyone can be a jerk, girl or guy. It just depends. Of course you'd call your ex a jerk, they BROKE UP with you, but if they gave you flowers, invited you to dinner and a movie, gave you sweet compliments, hugged you etc, they everything is fine and dandy right?

  • thats why you should have 5 or 6 boyfriends, out of 5 or 6 one of them are bound to not be a jerk :)

  • Because the girls don't have self-respect and they think they can't do any better than that.

  • cuz we girls are more in to the emo side and we care lot more they guy's.that suck's because some guys just what to just get some and we want a relationship wit love

  • I've met a lot of guys who go for just as sleazy girls... I think it goes both ways, both sexes have a hard time choosing someone and end up with someone not worth their time...

    • You are correct. I think what we're arguing is that it seems more common with girls getting bad guys. And the real disgusting part of it is that a lot of these girls are really nice and so deserving of someone much better. I know it isn't scientific, but it just seems like it happens more to girls.

  • because sum girlz dnt kno he is a bad boy @ 1st and wen she does she can try to change him but it doesn't work

  • we don't know theyyre jerks first (most of the time)

  • Jerks know what buttons to push, I can promise, no women falls for the jerk, but someone far different, they are already in love before the real man behind the charmer shows himself, and it's damned confusing, some women refuse to accept that the man they loved was a slimy play acting sleeze ball, for a long time. It's never nice to believe you've been had, and a lot of women stick it out expecting things to go back to how they used to be.

    Making excuses for the man they love, or even ignoring a lot of the abuse.

    • beautiful! couldn't have said it better

  • im in love with a jerk and il tell you why..

    when we first met he was the best guy ever, a few months down the line he started showing his true colors, but to this day I'm still head over heals for him...


    because I'm still in love with what I THOUGHT he was! I some how convince myself "well maybe he'll go back to the way he was when we first met"..but no it never happens

    • Yep I know. I know a girl who does the exact same thing. She spent months crying to me about it earlier this year. She eventually stopped crying to me about it. Maybe because she finally realized that she can only pull that sh*t for so long before the sympathy is gone. I mean really. I stopped giving even half a sh*t about her whining.

      Your boyfriend is complacent. He thinks he doesn't have to work in your relationship anymore because he already has you. He'll never change back.

    • The only way he'd ever change back is if he decides it's important. If he really believes he lost you. Most likely it's too late for you in your relationship. If you have to leave him for him to understand he's a f***ing moron, then he's not going to get it. Likely he'll only change just enough to please you, for a while. When he feels safe he'll get lazy and turn into an asshole because that is likely who he really is. He can't keep up a facade like that forever.

    • Im sorry 4 u

  • I also don't get that...but I think some just like to pity themselves and feel proud that they put up with so much. Like one girl, who studied with me...actually paid everything for her boyfriend, who was already working...did I get that? Nope. But I guess she liked feeling "in power" or whatever, not my cup of tea though. Fyi he actually broke up with her by stopping to call her and she even tired to get him back...so weird.

  • because as far as we may remember they were wonderful once and somewhere inside we're trying to recapture that and hope "he'll" return.. hoping he was real.. maybe we're the jerks for it, but it's our lives and our decision to decide whether or not we want to tolerate something. I'm going through it right now. it sucks. but I was with him a long time, and I don't like to quit on something because it doesn't go my way or it's isn't my dream come true. the grass isn't always greener either. you can always find something worse. in my experience, all the nice guys seem to be taken. I'm not from the young crowd, so, I feel my chances are a needle in the haystack at times.. even though I don't think of myself as old or unattractive. I just can't seem to find "him". not all of us are lucky in love. and furthermore, we can't help who we love.

  • Girls like a challenge. We naturally want to change our men and make them love us and treat us good. A nice guy is too easy and boring. My ex is/was a jerk and I really thought things would change.. Never did.. Now I'm with a nicer jerk.. Lol, he's got a much better heart, he just acts like a hard ass.

    • I'm not trying to be rude but do you think getting slapped around is boring? Or humiliated in front of numerous people. Or how about the psychological damage these pricks cause girls? It is only through bitter experience that I say this. I was one of those damn fool little girls who was just thrilled with the bad boys or the boys who made me laugh and had to learn by being gang raped and then humiliated in front of my entire school. You like the challenge Huh? I truly wish you good luck!

  • Because they haven't learned what real men are. They think jerks will be good in bed, but don't realize these guys actually suck at sex. It is actually the nice guys who pleases their parnters, physically & emotionally. Plus, these women feel special because their boyfriend is mean to everyone else but them.

    • god that is so true! The loud mmouth jerk-offs that I foolishly got involved were the absolute worst in bed. The best sex ever was with quietest, most unassuming men I've ever met. No BS! Just great boinkage.

  • cuz your subconscious love this guys..and ur smart mind is over powered...the psychology,is you really are the same type of person as this guys deep inside...

  • Its hard to find a guy we want. There are too many jerks running around. That's why. so we settel for what's mostly around and familiar with.

    • Spirited answer!:D XD

    • Show Older
    • Wow. missed my point there.

    • Ima havta call BS on that one.. that's total crap... Even with total idiocy, and jerks running around... you still have a choice.. we all know attraction most of the time isn't left to choice... but more to things like conditioning, attittudes and tastes... If you want a quality guy, get one.. otherwise stop getting with jerks and complaining about how much of a d*** they are to you... you know what they are before you get with em...

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