Why do girls tend to fall for jerks?

it really bothers me to know that many girls don't know how much they worth.. being cheated on, ignored, feeling insecure, & etc they still pu8t up with it ! why can't girls nowadays get what they deserve someone who isn't such an asshole or a jerk and they're proud of it...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Girls go for jerks because they turn them on! Simple.

    Jerks are confident, have charisma, have a passion for life, don't give a sh*t about confirming to the norm, have high social status, tend to dress well, tend to have a good body, and they know (naturally or learnt through experience) how to mess with women's emotions (which they like deep down).

    The 'nice-guys' tend to lack in these things. They have no confidence, pander to women and treat them like infallible princesses, fear rejection, fear being different, fear messing with people's emotions, they don't have alpha male body language or speech patterns.

    Hence why I've learnt to be a bit of an asshole. I was always the nice guy - I had charisma and I have money (so I can afford to have sharp clothes and go out on pricey dates) so I could get the numbers and first dates. But nothing beyond that because I didn't want to 'rush things' and I couldn't form the sexually charged emotional bond.

    Now I know how to act like an alpha male jerk. I spend nothing on girls for the same night lay except maybe taxi fare. For first dates I might buy a drink. From being a virgin I'm now a bonafide player.

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    • Good stuff! Same here!

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    • So your basically admitting to being a manipulative chickensh*t in order to attract sucka-ass females who are either too naive to know better or they are just dumb... ooh... we should all be so jealous... WHATEVER...

    • 6 counts of shaming language. Congrats, we have a new record.

      Manipulative? No, it's being aware. Women it every time they put on makeup and tight clothing.

      Naive women? No, just women in general. There is a strong biological imperative for them to like dominating men.

      Dumb? Hell no. Smart girls are the best for it. You can actually maintain a conversation and build up both rapport and comfort.

      Jealous? It's envy by the way. Keep believing women today deserve chivalry, and see where that gets you.

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What Guys Said 57

  • Why don't some people look if the subject isn't already running on a thread before asking a question?

    Just one quick peek: link (with slightly different search terms I'd find much more), look: link

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  • Valentin87 made the most good points. Bottom line is that girls find jerks/bad boys more attractive. They are more "Mr. Right Now" than "Mr. Right" My problem is not that I'm overly nice, I'm just shy. Girls want an exciting guy, usually because they can't make their own life exciting on their ow so its easier to find a guy that will do that for them. I think that is a big difference between guys and girls and the reason they get into a relationship. Girls crave excitement from a relationship; which is understandable, but they'll often put that excitement over qualities like fidelity, trust, and commitment.

    Also, "nice guys" (but I refer to the confident nice guys, not the OVERLY nice wussy guys) are not as exciting.

    Frankly, if I could turn myself into a confident jerk I would, it's much better than the opposite role. At least as a jerk I could get girls easier. I wish I had a confident jerk to tutor me, lol.

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    • I don't understand these guys.. they all seem to only care about the point .." I can't get this girl easy"

      if you want an easy girl. hey mister go right ahead, lets see if you can really feel for her..

    • I don't want "easy" girls. I don't like being one of those guys who complains that "nice guys finish last" but the fact is the "jerks" get girls easier than I ever could, usually because they are good-looking so girls are blind to anything else. Meanwhile I would treat a girl right, but I'm not interesting or confident enough for most girls compared to the jerks. Not that I'm talking myself down, that's just what girls think of me. I know it's hard to understand being on the other side of it.

    • It just gets frustrating when girls know that they go for jerks, and still do it. And when they meet a decent guy they aren't interested because he isn't as exciting as the jerks she's used to. I don't buy that girls can't tell a guy isn't going to work out or treat her right; but I maybe when they get infatuated with a guy at first they think he is perfect and are blind to the telltale signs. Most people are very transparent and easy to read. At least for me they are, lol.

  • This is because a guy will make a list of pros/cons and make a decision based on it.

    A girl, even if the cons outweigh the pros, she'll stay with him because the "but I still love him" speech.

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  • Valen pretty much has it, at least in my experience. The most f'ed up thing is that when I was in high school I was a "bad" boy. I had the I don't give a ... about anyone or anything. Wore cloths that said that. Talked like it, didn't pay attention to girls when they flirted with me (this drove them crazy), I wasn't a dick to my ex girl friend but I wasn't very understanding or willing to give her a lot of time (when I apologized and wanted to get more serious she retracted, I think she secretly liked having me treat her like that and didn't know how to react to me treating her correctly, not even joking.) . I've found girls gravitated to me when I exhibited all these behaviors and looks. Ever since Hs I've grown up and matured, started to focus on school (I dropped out) now I'm on my way to UC San Diego. I found my caring and compassionate side and when I started acting/dressing like this I was like an anti girl mag. Bottom line, nice guys who treat girls well just don't excite girls off the bat. I suppose nice guys should act like jerks to start with and then when the girl is ready for them to be a nice guy they can stop the facade. Because god knows how many times I've heard the he was so nice but after a few months he was such a d... Anyways I think it comes from both sides, girls and guys are both to blame. Tv, music, and magazines need to stop showing them as desirable. There's a reason the "badass with a sweat side " is on tv. It's fantasy.

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    • You do have a point .. most girls tend to fall for bad boy.. but think about it if you're showing a girl ur bad side will she ever be ready for your good? my point is to always be yourself. you don't need a girl right off the bat, because if you got her that fast what makes you think another guy cant? won't you like a lady who loves you for you?

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    • Usually nice guys/good guys are boring or yeah you didn't hit her but are you exciting to her? There could have beein other things she was not into about you. Your nice but maybe not her type physically, mentally? Who knows. the guy that hit her. of course she don't like it but some women stay because of the sex and what he offers, maybe money, or a child, or just being together for a long time and he hits her and its hard for her to leave cause she got sucked in. Women like this have low self esteem

    • One of the reasons she was sleeping with me was because she was sex deprived in that relationship and he apparently was terrible in bed. Between the two of us we go at it like rabbits so definitely not the issue there. Secondly he's a musician who makes minimum wage and isn't going anywhere. I'm 2 years from med school, so that doesn't work either. The guy was just a d... I think it's more I'm the type a girl would marry in a few YEARS rather than the fun party goer most girls want right now.

  • We have to with the modern woman cause unlike what we thought when we were young there is literally no chance of marrying a virgin. I know that's not fair but stats say its true. Woman now want to be independent which is not their natural human characteristics so males are trying to adept but to what, and for what we love them but are just as quick to say bitch or slut cause the older beliefs are lost in women at younger ages and then brought back with age so either way guys get the short end of the stick she's no longer pure.

    yet in still she wants a white dress not knowing it means your a virgin lol America please stop the white its a lie. She can go to church with her bastard child and her baby daddy and they feel accomplished and satisfied. So this is what we should respect, honor, love, I'd say its all just second rate not as beautiful a reunion of couples as it could be.

    Ask any woman born of the 80's and she'd wish she would have waited but didn't. Think two people can sign a contract a bidding agreement that the army will send you to jail for theirs and many other companies but for marriage which you take an oath to death do you apart sickness and health better or worst you can write a pre-nup lol dismissing everything you just said. They would stone females for being cheating now a days just get a divorce. Marriage is no longer forever its just not the same. So really we are just picking up on your own lack of respect for yourselves. It can come from not being able to have our security which was she is waiting till marriage. There was even times not long ago that if a woman was not a virgin she could not marry but now adays we all bend the rules cause sorry but yall no longer have what it takes. further more I will continue to be an ASSHOLE!

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    • Whoa, cheer up.

      Where do you live ? We aren't all the same. Some of us have values. Sadly, women as much as men are losing them.

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What Girls Said 25

  • Personally because they have the acting thing down,and sadly they know how play the game right.In most cases its not because we want to fall for them,but they come up to us and make us feel like they have good intentions.After that we try talking to them and over time we fall for them(if he looks good that's just easier).Jerks tend to know what to say that makes us feel like we are going to be the only female.Once we fall for them it's not so easy to fall out,by that point we trust them and believe every word they say.I might be speaking for myself now,since he looks for me over again I'm thinking that he really changed.But that's my fault to because I want things to be how they use to when he cared and checkd on me to c if I was okay.We let them back into are lives so easily that they know we are always her.I know I deserve better I honestly do but I can't do much about it.Because it's difficult for me to let go of the person that I fell in love with at one point.He ignores me now,but he wasin't the guy that I met when we first talked.

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    • I don't understand how all these female answers say that the jerks say they like them a lot first and then show their real side that they don't. It has to be something else because when a guy tells a girl he likes her, she usually will tell the guy to fuk off for being needy

  • Because every girl wants to be the girl that changes a guy. It's the ultimate validation of her worth- I love you so much and you are so amazing that I will stop being a jerk and start being Mr Perfect. Sometimes we are, most of the time we're not.

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    • Aaahhh I think this is very interesting... it makes sense.

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    • Sorry. But it doesn't work like that man.

    • Good point!

  • i think sometimes it could be due to the environment you're in. for me, both my parents weren't a significant part of my life

    my dad left me when I was young

    my mom is verbally abusive

    i tend to do things on me own and I'm strong enough to

    i did go out with a jerk and it was because I was niave and because I wanted to feel happy but it ended in me going to counselling and therapy

    so sad things do happen and I just hope that other girls don't do the same mistakes. and also not to look down or be condescending towards girls who were victims in abusive relationships.

    so there are a few reasons why it happens

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    • Im sorry to hear that

  • I think you pretty much nailed it right there in your question...

    I think many women do not value themselves highly enough. Our society pretty much makes it seem like if you don't have someone then you are a failure. For example, that old saying that if a woman hasn't married before she is 40 then there is something wrong with her. I think it makes us feel desperate, and needy...Which is sad...lol...We have something guys want...and they want it bad...If more women really realized it...well...would be better for all of us. Sadly, I am just learning these lessons at the ripe old age of 47. Which just goes to show ya, it is never too late to learn. I have a guy who I believe is interested, and, when we go out...well, not gonna just jump into bed with him...if he wants it...well, gotta show me that he is worth my time and effort.

    Anyway...that's what I think

    :-)

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  • Cause we like the excitement and the thrills at the beginning and nice guys are boring

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