Why would a guy say awful and hurtful things to his girlfriend and then say he didn’t mean it?

I have been dating a guy for four years and we live together. Recently he has developed a habit of verbally attacking me with no provocation. I ask what is wrong and he will tell me nothing but will still be very mean and make nasty comments to me. On my birthday he was mean, snippy and rude to... Show More

Most Helpful Girl

  • Is he cheating on you? Is he bipolar? There is something very wrong here. He is not treating you respectfully and doesn't even care to on special days like your birthday. That is unacceptable.

    When you have tried to break up with him - have you really truly meant it. There is a difference between wanting to shake someone into submission and really being through with it - no matter what. They could give you a million dollars and if you are really done with this jerk - he is out - no exceptions.

    I friend of mine was married to a physical and verbal abuser. He stopped the physical abuse after she threatened him but still called her names all the time. She told me that she finally starting writing it down on her calendar. There came a night that he did it again and she confronted him and said - you know for the last so many days (I think it was something like 30 out of 35 days) you have called me names. He was shocked and of course denied it all and got even angrier at her. She said she went and took a bath. In the tub she finally realized after being married to him for 4 years and putting up with this (this man even called her a bitch on their wedding night) that she was done. She got out of the tub, told him she was filing for divorce and nothing he could do or say would make her change her mind. He knew she meant it this time.

    The best part of her story is that the next day at work one of her friends who didn't know what she had done the night before said to her - what's up with you today? you are so happy and you seem like a different person. She told her then that she was getting a divorce from the jerk and her life has been better since.

    Just know that you don't have to put up with this. Even if he is bipolar (which I don't think would be every other day or so - but I'm not sure). You deserve respect everyday and not to be walking on eggshells wondering if this guy is going to go off.

    Best of luck to you! Take care of yourself!