I don't know what to say to him anymore or what I should do?

My best friend and I used to be very close. I stopped him from suicide many times, and we dated twice. But even though we broke up we didn't distance ourselves. There is so much history between us I can't even begin to explain it. End of last year he got a little distant, then I went to Europe. When I got back we talked for a while on the phone and it was the old him. Then, he went to Korea. Once he got back, we rarely talked. I've already screwed things up because I got mad at him and told him how I felt (First Real Teenage Love) and I realized by holding on I'm pushing him away. I finally learned he has had a girlfriend. He didn't tell me. I've been trying to cope with this the best I can. I've cried so many times, feel like drinking helps, but it doesn't. I just, I know I'm falling part without him and hate that. I never wanted love to be apart of my life this way. I wanted other things to make me happy.. but right now it seems only he can. But I want him back in my... Show More