Will the nice guy ever win?

I'm a very nice guy and Ill never change. But I'm tired of coming in last. Just wondering if nice guys like me will ever be happy?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Will the nice guy ever win?

    Depends on his physical attractiveness, wealth, status, and personality no different than other types of guys.

    Just wondering if nice guys like me will ever be happy?

    Depends on what it takes for him to be happy no different than other types of guys.

    "Im a very nice guy and Ill never change."

    I highly doubt you're a very nice guy as it seems often when guys say nice guy they mean:

    - he's nice to gals he's attracted to

    - he hasn't hit, raped, or harassed gals

    In my opinion neither of those means he's a nice guy as most people tend to be nice to those they're attracted to and plenty of non-rapists aren't nice people.

    • So what your saying is, a nice guy as to be good looking, rich and have a good personality? What else is knew.

    • No what I'm saying is a nice guy chances of winning is dependent on his physical attractiveness, wealth, status, personality, and what he defines as winning no different than any other type of guy.

What Girls Said 14

  • Degree of niceness isn't the only factor that affects your compatibility with someone :P People talk so much about "nice guys finishing last" and "girls mostly like jerks" that now, whenever a guy who's not an a**hole gets rejected, he assumes it has something to do with him being nice? I don't know if people realize how irrational that is.

    And seriously, you could be a great catch in so many different ways, yet you're still going to be a victim to luck to some extent. Don't blame yourself or women.

  • I'll take a nice guy any day but they seem to be in short supply. Or too shy to make themselves known.

  • I wish I could say "the nice guy will eventualy get lucky" but I'm afraid that's not the case. If I look back on the guys that f***ed me, they were mostly not nice guys. The guys I had a longer relationship with were nicer though. But I if someone tries to score with me at the bar or a party, I always get seduced by the bad guy. And I've seen a lot of other girls let that happen.

    One night at a bar, a sweet guy had a crush on me and I was such a bitch to turn him down. But a little later, this drunk guy with a beer belly slapped my ass and said about the previous guy "that sissy can't handle your big ass". I was really offended, but still ended up drunk at his place letting him f*** me. That was the lowest I've ever gone but now you know: Girls are strange and do stupid things, especially when it comes to love or sex. Don't ever lose hope though. Some girl out there might be smart enough. But most are like me, and if I read the other comments I think a lot of girls don't realize it.

  • Be happy because of who you are.

  • Of course. However, you can't expect girls to just throw themselves at you. Guys who think their niceness is preventing them from getting into a relationship are usually wrong. It's their shyness that does it, not their niceness. Nice guys need to take a small page (just a little one) from the a**hole's book and get the courage and confidence to ask girls out.

  • I go for nice guys, but they need to have a bit of an edge to keep us girls interested. ;)

    • So if I kill, rape, or kidnap someone will that make me dateable? You just said Us nice guys, need to keep you girls interested?

    • v Do you know how crazy you sound? How do you leap from "a bit of an edge" to "rapist"?

  • ^^ don't worry ^^ I believe in nice guys not jerkd



  • the issue that sometimes arises with nice guys is. when you give them a chance (which I definitely have) some of them start off wonderfully and then start to change. They get overly confident. Not all nice guys are like that, lots of them just remain the sweet guys they always were. But that's is why some times women have some hesitance to date nice guys. They feel that they may develop an ego and then what's the point?

  • Well if a nice guy came into my life I'm sure he'd win

  • Nice guys can be happy.

    I've dated nice guys. My ex was a really nice guy and I was crazy about him.

    Problem is.. nice guys usually aren't too confident because they are used to falling for the girls that like bad guys..


    • I highly doubt your last Boyfriend was a nice guy.

    • Well I knew him for years and he was a nice guy. No girls wanted him for it but I fell for him. He was really sweet and showed his love for me (I guess a little more than me.. :( )

      But the problem was that I argued a lot so he broke up with me. He felt like I "took advantage of his niceness and disrespected him". maybe according to you that's not nice?

  • With that attitude, I have no idea. to win the opposite gender, you can't be self absorb and self pity. Most heathy relationship is based on trust, love, and confident.

  • Why do guys always think that just because you're nice, the girls will be entitled to spread their legs to you. We need to physically and emotionally like you. We won't go around spreading our legs wide open just because you're "nice".

    • Really? Like you don't go around spreading your legs to all the jerks? LMFAO get real.

    • Well no. Believe me or not I couldn't care less from a loser like you LMFAO!

  • My crystal ball says all signs point to no


What Guys Said 13

  • Nice guys that are AGGRESSIVE finish first more often than the "jerk" guy does.

    It IS possible to be nice and aggressive at the same time. I've learned this lost art form quite well. :-D

  • All you have to do is mix it up. Just don't be predictable and best of all do not put a woman who isn't your mother or GF/WIFE on a pedestal. When you show you're a man and don't kiss up to her they'll go for you. Otherwise be yourself man and you'll get girls!

  • Yes, if you don't mind settling.

  • A guy with no boundaries always gets f***ed over. Never give to much, but never give to little. Give to much and you'll be used. Give to little, and people will think you're a jerk/a**hole or whatever.

  • of course we will

    /me gives you hand

  • I'm a nice guy, ask any one who met me or chatted with me, but I have no trouble winning,and let me go on a limb and say , by win you mean win the girl, yes , but like anything that requires winning, you need a winning attitude, and being nice has nothing to do with you being , unlucky, cause you know how players get girls, they act nice, cause girls react to that, but above being nice they have confidence, something you don't have, and confidence isn't saying: hey girl in smug way, it's how you walk, how you talk, how long you hold eye contact, and how comfortable you are in your own skin and with being who you are, more importantly there are various types of women, you can't approach a lawyer and a stripper the same way , which brings me to approach once you come to terms with the fact, that you gonna get rejected and that it happens to the best of us, you will be less nervous, more confident , ah what else yes, if you don't wanna be more than just a friend to a girl , stop being her f***ing friend,

  • @anonymousbastard

    i think you are just narrow minded because you believe only women who will dump nice person.

    it can also happen to women. I don't think men like women who are too nice.

    women, do anything what men say, give anything men ask, forgive men no matter how big their mistakes, show no assertion, put mercy on anyone who is evil to you, respond hate and intimidation with love and patience. women you will be dumped too. after being used.

    so my answer to this question :

    a good man will win if he is not submissive. so nice man, you need assertion instead of kindness. be a good man but don't let anyone, including your girl, use you. being too helpful, too easy, too nice, too submissive makes someone oppressed.

    so nice man (and nice woman too), it is good that you are a good person but just don't lose all your ego. I am a good man but I have ego. that is why I won't let anyone, man or woman, oppress me.

    because being good is not just doing good things. being good can also involve preventing bad things from happening to you.

  • Only when the girl realizes...

  • i feel you bro, I been like that all my life. I do give up now, is hopeless

  • What the hell is a nice guy

  • Hello no sorry but I'm a nice guy too and I'm also shy. All these girls on here telling you yes nice guys will win are talking out of their asses. I just laugh when they say oh sure I would pick a nice guy if he walked into my life lmfao. If that was true Us nice guys wouldn't finish last.

    • you think women are the only ones who forget opposite gender's kindness? do you even know that nice women are also hard to get guys? anyone who is TOO GOOD is always abused! so my question is will nice women win? will guys respect and appreciate any woman who wants to do anything for them? will guys truly love her if she always forgives them if they cheated on her? men can also forget women's kindness! we are not the only ones who sacrifice what we have! admit that! you'd dump nice woman!

    • @ Valen tine Angle wth are you talking about? Nice women having trouble getting guys? On what planet? Guys can careless how nice a girl is. And no I've never dump nice women, its hard to dump someone if you never dated, because your to ugly and fat for them. And no amount of exercise and plastic surgery is gonna change that.

    • and do you think all women/girls always dump nice guys/men? how narrow minded if you do. I have seen good men (even though they are not rich) with women with average looks. they are happy together. you were just unlucky you haven't met girls who really loved you.

      i prefer nice girls/women. bad girls/women who are beautiful are only attractive by look. but its only sex appeal. but of course they are not kind of girls/women I will date or sleep with.

      do you think a guy like me is not normal ?

  • No sir. They don't. Girls will say they will take the nice guy "BUT" there's always the but. Just be a nice a**hole & you'll be fine.

  • Stop being so nice. Most girls don't deserve "nice". Give them the "naughty" that they want. When you treat girls with too much respect, they lose respect for you. Date multiple girls at once, don't call her very often, tease her ass off and otherwise be unpredictable.

    • That's mean and hurtful, don't listen him.

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    • well do you even realize it can happen to women too? respect men as much, obey him, do everything men say, and women will be enslaved! and all men say women are stupid because they let men treat them like sh*t! admit that man. we have that side too!

    • I agree with him, I say treat women like crap we all know is the truth.