Why does this guy keep pursuing me after I say I am not interested in what he is looking for?

This guy has told me he is really busy and wants to hook up... Then if we end up having chemistry it can turn into something more... I told him I am not into a hook up but he keeps contacting me.. Even after we don't speak for weeks or a month at a time he will eventually email me. Why doesn't he just find some other girl who is looking for a hook up and leave me alone? Guys are so damn confusing!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Probably thinks you've changed your mind..after all, women are the queens of mind changing


What Guys Said 9

  • Its been said by guys AND girls...that persistence is seen as an attractive trait in a guy.

    Well...he's doing just that. The fact that you're not being mean, to him, means he still has a chance to change your mind.

    I used to be that type of guy. You're gonna have to be mean (or someone else has to be mean on yiur behalf ), probably more than once, for him to start to back off.

  • First of all, don't group all of us together, most of us guys are not sleeze balls who will stalk you and not take no for an answer. This guy sounds like an idiot so good for you for staying away.

    Just be blunt. Tell him, your not into him and to leave you the f*** alone. If he doesn't try ignoring him, and I mean really ignore him. Don't even respond to his emails telling him to stop or that you aren't interest in his type. Just disappear. If that finally doesn't work, threaten to call the police and get a restraining order. That should scare him off.

    Basically I agree with prof don. Too many girls are too empathetic towards the guys they are rejecting. Instead of being blunt in situations like this where they should be blunt. They beat around the bush and give excuses that in the mind of an egotistical guy, he's going to take it as a challenge and think he still has a chance if he plays his cards right. It's stupid I know, but some guys just don't get it and they waste there time on a girl who clearly isn't interested.

  • The question is can he do both? Did you consider the fact that he may be rarely getting some here and there but trying to follow up with where you are standing, in case he gets lucky.

    Beside you have reject him half way, the "I want a relationship not a hook up" means "you still have a chance". (in man language). So he has either changed (very unlikely) or is just trying to wear you down, hook up and then run.

    If he insist, and you are even remotely interested you could pay back, if he want to meet up do it, go out on a date, or something but don't put out, don't make it a 3 dates rule, make it longer and you will see how it goes. If he wanted a hook up and went out with you 10 times.. it's not the worst and he would have tried real hard at least.

  • Because you are his fall girl

  • He thinks he can be influential enough to change your mind...even after "prompting" you incessantly. Guys are stupid like that.


  • He's too stupid to know what to do. Move on. Block the idiots.

  • some guys are just plain thick headed...

    others won't take "no" for an answer

  • I'm interested in you, please inbox me your contact information.


What Girls Said 4

  • Thrill of the chase.

  • IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! he wants what he can't have, and he can't have you, to him its probably just a big game! therefore he's lusting over you in hopes that he can eventually wear down your guard! Ignore his phonecalls, emails, msgs, texts and if you have to reply/talk (in person, called on blocked caller ID) keep your answers short, blunt and to the point (meaning, yes or no with no tone or enthusiasm in your voice). If you're nice, sweet, flirty (accidental or not, or maybe he thinks you're flirting/playing hard to get) then his infactuation will only grow stronger! Eventually he'll get the picture and back off if your blunt with him.

    • Shitty situation! ugh. I am attracted to him but he confuses me.. I don't understand why guys play games like this. Pisses me off.

    • At the end of the day you just have to evaluate & weigh up the pros and cons & decide if he's worth having feelings for & if having contact with him is just going to stir up your feelings for him. Its proof he obviously doesn't care about you because he wouldn't be trying to just have a fling with you (either he would want a relationship or he would tell you straight up). But I wouldn't suggest giving in, he's playing games and if you give in, you'll end up feeling sh*tty for being taken advantage of

  • Some men can't take no for an answer. Just ignore him, permanently. Who needs that hot mess?

  • He thinks he can eventually wear you down. You have to be really mean to guys like this, they completely ignore polite rejection. Make it clear that you find him unattractive and would never ever touch him.