How do you deal with being single?

I use to handle being single by keeping a guy or two around even if I'm not that into him, just so I could have someone to talk to and go out with. Recently I stopped doing that because I think that's not fair for the guy and its not fair for me either. Everyone deserve to be with someone that they're actually into & the feelings be mutual. So now that I've got rid of that "coping" method (dating guys I'm not that into while single) , I wanna hear from others what they do to deal with the single life.

1. Do you wait til love find you or do you search for it?

I've done both and got bad results. As I waited, only guys that I'm not that into approach me. When I made the move myself, I obviously went for the guys I actually like but that didn't work out in the long run either.

2. Should I just not focus on love at all and put all my attention in other things?

Its hard doing that. Somehow it pops into my head that I'm single and I feel lonely & bored sometimes.

3. what do you think I can do?

It's just boring and frustrating to meet/date so many guys and things just never work out. AND the crazy thing is I'm the one that's dumping them because either I'm just not that into them or something major like he have a girlfriend (relationship was on the VERGE of ending...as of now, its officially over but the fact that I was dating him when he was with someone still turned me off from him)

4. What do YOU do to deal with being single?

Thoughts? Thanks. Will Choose Best Answer :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What do I do to deal with being single?

    Well, first off, I love myself. I acknowledge my self worth. I love the family and blood line I come from. I acknowledge were I'm going in life, career wise. I play a lot of sports, and acknowledge that I'm a real athlete. I go out to parties, and socialize. I don't whore around, but I socialize. I make new connections, and new friends. I am confident in myself, I'm not a hostile person, I act very humble, and give love out to everyone (not in a gay way, but to not seem intimidating, but if someone intimidates me and steps in my space, I will take a course of action) And yet again, I love myself. The key is to love yourself, and when your single, life will seem like you never will want to be with someone, just by yourself. Not to say that I don't want to find someone, but I know when that someone finds me, they will confess their love for me, and I will be able to give it in return.

    (you really need to work on your "selfworth" catagory, this will help you a lot when your single)

    What do you think I can do?

    Take a break from the dating game. Do not date men that are in or on the verge of breaking up with a girlfriend, for they too don't love themselves. And will most likely bring drama and hostility into you life because they haven't cleansed themselves or taken the time to be happy with themselves once again.

    (so once again, work on your "selfworth" and take a break from the "dating game")

    Should I just not focus on love at all and put all my attention to other thins?

    Yes you should. Not to other things, but to yourself! aka, what would you like to do today? What would you like to accomplish. If you wanna get your nails done, go get them done, so you look good for yourself, not for any1 else. If you wanna go for a jog, go for a jog, not because you want guys to holler at you while your running, but to towne your legs and butt more for yourself.

    (so yet again, work on "yourself" "Selfworth" and take a break from the "dating game"

    Last question: Do you wait til love find you or do you search for it?

    I wait for love to find me, why? Because I know who I am. I know what I want. I don't search for it, because that only drives you nuts. Instead I make a check list of what I would like in a woman, good looks, university degree, comes from a good family, has those motherly characteristics, and so on and so forth. (my list is too long for this chat box lol) But I do know that the one for me, will adore me, and profess her love for me, and I will adore and do the same with her.

    Anyways I would continue talking but I'm running out of characteristics in the chat box. But do you get it now? Don't be insecure with yourself, Start off with your eggs that your carrying, that should be a good motivation starter for yourself, and what those eggs would like, and work upto your heart and mind. Do you understand what I mean?

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    • This is very helpful. Thanks a lot. I'm already starting to take your advice. I'll get there someday :)

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What Guys Said 21

  • 1. I think you should search it. If you set yourself to it, you'll surely find it. Yes, sometimes you encounter ups and downs when you approach but that's just part of the process. You really need to go out and seek for your happiness.

    2. I think you should put all your attention in to other things. The more you're focus into things, that more worldly you get, the more challenge you put up, and the attractive you're into guys' eyes. It's like hitting to bird in one stone. You go out there and search for love while focusing yourself into other things.

    3. Have fun in your dates. The more you reject, the closer you are to your ideal guy.

    4. I always strive to have fun and always seek for my happiness. Because the more I focus on those two, the more girls that appear in front of me, and willing to be with me.

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  • "I use to handle being single by keeping a guy or two around even if I'm not that into him, just so I could have someone to talk to and go out with"...God I f***ing hate girls like this with a god damn passion, thank god you grew out of that trend. It's just too bad most of your female counterparts haven't. I've cussed out and kicked away so many female friends for pulling this.

    Ok now onto your real question. It cane be tough. I think it depends on the person and their drive for love and sex. My drive for both is pretty high so being single isn't really all that fun for me, especially because I don't hook up with people I'm not committed to. So the freedom everyone talks about when being single doesn't apply to me.

    I think the trick is to simply not focus on it, other than putting yourself in opportunities to meet people when they arise. When invited to parties, go, even if you don't want to. When you are invited to an outing, go. When a friend is having people over go. When friends are going to a bar, go. Most importantly, do these things when you know there will be new faces there. You just never know.

    You have to not revolve your life around trying to get a BF/GF. Instead you need to focus on being a better person and soon people will take notice and flock to you. Focus on getting better at your hobby, furthering your career, improving your health, improving your attitude, etc. Again, I know this can be hard, especially when being single puts you in a bad mood, its a struggle I face every day, but non the less, while it is hard, I still believe that is the approach.

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    • Thanks! I actually like your answer a lot more than I thought I would.. but as for the keeping guys around thing (although I refuse to do this anymore), get over it. some guys do the same damn thing. Its wrong when both sex do it but you just have to be smart enough not to get used. That's just life.

    • Your right both sex's do do it, and its wrong both times. However, I think its still more common for women and that's because its more covert. Guys keep the girl around for sex, so the intentions are usually quite clear. Girls on the other hand will keep a guy around simply for emotional support, which is much harder to pick up on. Can keep some guys strung for years even. You right that people should stand up and stop from being used, just not like people will outright tell you your being used.

    • Usually by the time someone has figured it out, the damage has already been done, that goes for either gender. Being used is hard to prevent, its only easy to mitigate its length and effect.

  • 1. Love is funny it finds you when you are not looking.

    2. Put your attention on something else and look at answer #1

    3. Do a physical hobby that makes you feel better about you, then look at answer #1

    4. Me personally I go snow boarding. It clears my head and I usually meet woman that are interested in doing that with me, like the girl I am dating now.

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  • 1. You don't have to seek it out but don't let opportunity pass you by

    2. Put your attention into other things. You're going to find love when you're not looking for it. Most great relationships start because people meet doing something that they both love. So go enjoy your hobbies and you'll find something.

    3. Maybe try some new activities. Sign up for a dance class, or cooking class. Plenty of guys in both of those.

    4. I deal with being single by just looking for more friends and if I find that I am immediately best friends with a girl then I consider asking her out.

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  • I love it and appreciate the many perks.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Pretty much all these questions merit the same answer from me.

    I tend to just enjoy my life when I'm single. I don't actively search for a guy but I keep my eyes peeled in case someone really interesting crosses my path. And I think that's the best way to go. You should just enjoy yourself and not worry so much about finding someone. You can't stop yourself from thinking about it from time to time, I know I did when I was single. Just don't let it control your every thought and action.

    There's much more to life than dating and when you're not dating someone you have that much more time and energy to spend on those other things. I love my boyfriend and I'm very happy with him but there are things I miss about being single. Each side has its perks, just focus on the perks of whichever side you're on while you're on it. When you're single you have more time for yourself, you don't have to partake in watching sports or anything else you don't like to make your boyfriend happy, you're free to talk to whomever you want or do whatever you want without worrying about how it affects your boyfriends feelings.

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