Do I have a bad personality?

I was talking to my boyfriend and we ended up having a conversation about personality and looks. He thinks he's 50/50 in terms of looks and personality. When I asked him about myself, he hesitated and said you know that's hard to answer because you have a great personality but you are also extremely attractive. However, it sounded like bs to me becuase a person can be extremely attractive and have an equally great personality like he rated himself. Anyways he refused to answer the question. and before this convo, we were talking about something and he made a comment saying well your really pretty so its okay. I was like wtf? I've felt this way before with men and I don't like it at all. Earlier this week, my coworker and friend said the same thing that I was more physically appealing than personality. The reason it bothers me is because I've been seeing my boyfriend recently and I know he had his heartbroken by his ex who he loved a lot. She had an amazing personality (he admits he prefers personality over looks) and whenever we talk over the phone or text the convo doesn't go anywhere. I've never really thought of myself as a boring person or someone with a bad personality. however, I've felt that way with other guys as well. How do I make myself feel better? I always feel like people don't like me for me. I have a very deep and thoughtful nature but I also know most people don't like very deep meaningful conversations about life and etc.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all. I love girls who have deep meaningful and insightful conversations about life. LOVE IT. Did I say that I love it when girls have deep meaningful conversations about life? In fact just today I was talking to a girl specifically because she: likes to read books, genuinely nice to others for non selfish reasons, not afraid to show her true personality (I think you need help here), not bothered by others judgments, admits her faults and what she is proud of.

    I spent time with her, got some lunch-sort of-more like a snack but we sat down and talked. I got her number and learned a lot more about her. It was great. I guarantee I would not have talked to her if I didn't see those great qualities in her in the first place. I mean yeah she was beautiful (that's just a bonus, I feel extremely lucky :) )

    hope this helps. Bottom line? people do want to see the real you. Stop being superficial. You can't be friends with everyone, you have to be genuine to yourself so that you can meet others who are also genuinely interested in the same things you are. You can't and shouldn't please everyone, you'll come off as superficial if you do. Besides, if there not willing to like you, THE REAL YOU, then why would you want to spend time with them? If they can't even accept you then you shouldn't even waste your time.

    I hope I don't sound rude, I really just want to help.

    • Thank you for your comment. I appreciate the perspective and actually I'm an honest, blunt and in your face kind of person. So I always show the real me; however, not many people can handle that I've learned in my life. Which is why I'm not considered an easy person to get along with yet I can have conversations with almost anyone. :p I don't care to be liked or wanted by others but it would of been nice to hear that he liked my personality as equally as my appearance. Oh well, Atleast he's honest

What Guys Said 14

  • Im certain there are compliments you have received about your personality if you think long and hard about it. :)

  • Everyone is different and some people might not be able to stand your personality while others might love you to the ends of time. I could probably go on about the technical specifications of an A-65 RPU core diaphragm which would bore anyone except others who are interested. The other aspect is the question itself. You might as well have asked if your dress made you look fat. Sure, he could have said 50/50 but that could have been seen as an easy out and it might not have seemed sincere.

    For me, a persons beauty is about a combination of what I find physically attractive as well as who someone is as an overall person. It's a blend that isn't separated because for me it's all one thing.

    • Yeah your right and I know he's not shallow so I do appreciate his honesty! Thanks for the comment

  • wow I love deep meaningful conversation I really adore those qualities and it makes me 100 times more attracted to her if she's sweet thoughtful to everyone not just me not to the point where she is going out of her way to do things unecessary for other guys that would just hurt me :(

  • He hesitated! Hahahaha more guys get into crap this way. Yes his answer was bullsh*t. Sounds to me he doesn't care about your personality because he feels your looks are all he needs. I will give you this advice: when you date men that only date for physical reasons you miss out on some of the best parts of a relationship. If something happens to your looks,he will be gone and after someone else. Try not sleeping with the guy for months, when you date. Seems like youve been labeled as a sex provider, more than a partner. Most women would hate to be you in this senario. Go out and get yourself a real man and dump that child your currently with.

    • Sorry, I haven't had sex with him. :)

  • I hate talking over the phone tbh, I would rather talk to people face to face. In any event, don't let it get to you, because if now at the back of your mind you start thinking, am I boring? do I have a bad personality? or anything of that nature, it's going to make things worse for you. Some people like stimulating conversations, others don't care, at the end of the day, people will always have something to say, so it's no point even worrying

    • Thank you! I agree as well.

  • You sounds sorta negative, an not willing to open up.

    Personality depends on the person, some can talk on phone for days, others prefer face to face quality time, sometimes its the opposite. But relationships are meant to work with each other through the good an bad times, but communication makes it all worth while.

    Only you know if you have a bad personality. Some relationship like arguments, with break up make up.

  • Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe f*** ya self.

  • a question is never too hard .. for a guy to answer.. if they don't answer its because they are feeling a certin way and they don't know how they feel yet .. so just give it sometime and ask him again and see what he sayss . and you hve not bad personalitly.. no one does if someone don't like no one its because that their opion.. don't let it get to u

    • Thank you, I agree with you very much since I've recently started dating him and we are both very private ppl. It might just take him a while to see my amazing personality. :p thanks again.

    • your welcome

  • Not everything about life has to be deep and meaningful. Playful and innocent is fun to.

    I'm always trying to be witty and funny in my conversations. Try to say something funny next time. I'm better he's the one that always makes you laugh, right?

    • Ironically, no I'm the funny one! However, I am more sarcastic than actually funny. I'm also serious in nature and my boyfriend knows that. But it doesn't mean I can't take a joke. :p thanks for the comment.

  • Yeah, sounds like your personality could use an overhaul

  • Sorry but you seem to be a pain in the ass. You seem insecure and controlling. you are far from accepting who you are and you are angry.

    • yup, she definitely is a complicated one with some issues, but we aren't allowed to judge, especially if it's negative.

    • Show All
    • Thanks for your comments. However, I'm not a insecure person but controlling I admit to because I like things generally my way but that doesn't mean I'm not understanding of others and their needs. I don't believe any individual is simple and without flaws. I know mine and I am accepting of them. I did not state in my post that I had an easy personality. I admit I don't but I also believe that you don't need to be compatible with everyone but just your significant other.

    • I agree with some of what you said. I think as long as you leave the world a better place and are good to others (actions and not just words) but understanding someone's viewpoint is not as important as bending and or compromising with someone. I of course believe that you do not need to be compatible with anyone but your significant other but I also know that human pride is a ridiculous thing in most cases. You do seem wise regardless of your stubbornness which is an odd but a good combination.

  • I enjoy deep meaning full conversation. I love conversations that stimulate the mind. Anyways not the point. but,

    Mabe your boyfriend is just with you because your attractive, and doesn't care about your personality. Mabe he's with you because he just wants to have some1 sexy next to him, and doesn't care to stimulate your mind. Just his.

  • It sounds to me like you have deeply mistrustful and suspicious personality, which I personally do not find appealing.

    • Haha. Like Descartes said "don't trust what you see, hear or touch". Trust is an illusion at best. Thanks for your comment. :)

What Girls Said 1

  • He wouldn't be your boyfriend if you had a bad personality...He was just trying to be a good boyfriend. Oh, and guys know better to answer questions...they try to avoid it because they will always be wrong...even if they are right...

    Girl, I really wouldn't worry about that. He seriously wouldn't be with you if you had a bad personality. I would be really happy if I were you.

    • There's a lot of good going on in this answer.

    • Thank you, your right. I suppose I might have expected too much honesty there. :p

    • :) have fun and be yourself girlie <3