How do I get a shy guy to talk to me?

So this guy who sits in front of me in history thinks I'm cute (according to his best friend) but the problem is that he's really shy. Being the awkward person that I am, I have no idea how to start a conversation with him casually. Help?


Most Helpful Guy

  • From a shy guy,

    -Try to find common ground and talk about it, and if he likes something you don't then do not look down on him for it, even if its a "deal breaker" for you. If you're open to giving it a try it might be fun for both of you and let him open up. His friend may be a wealth of information for discussion. Maybe studying or working on one of your assignments together, ask him if he can help you out. It might be easier for him to say yes to that then entering an open situation like study group or coffee. He might feel good about tutoring you as it would create a framework for the situation for you to talk to each other.

    -If you know his best friend, see if he will be your wingman. See if he will double with you and your friend in doing something he(or both of you like). I opened up around people I was comfortable with in situations I was comfortable; for example, I never liked being shoulder to shoulder in a bar when first meeting someone.

    -You may not end up together so if it turns out your not interested, try and go easy on him but make it clear.

    -You might have to be patient, a little alcohol never hurt anyone either.

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What Guys Said 32

  • "Hey, Hi, I'm stardazzleblonde."

    You'd be surprised at how well that works.

    Talk to him about whatever might be a common interest.

    "What do you think of JJ Abrams directing the new Star Wars movies?"

    "What species do you think Kim K is going to have? Alien?"

    "Who are you rooting for in the Superbowl?"

    Just get him talking. The more you talk to each other, the more comfortable you'll be with each other.

  • Well for starters, if that is you in your profile then the main thing is keep doing what you're doing because you are hot. And secondly, it is quite easy to start a conversation. Just tap him on the shoulder, give a note with your phone number on it, and then ask if he wants to go have coffee sometime and then bam, he will say yes (because of thing number 1) and just talk to him about whatever

  • I'm an extremely shy guy as well so I feel I can add some persepective to this too. If he's as shy as me, he's probably too shy and intimidated to approach you, so if you're interested in him you'll have to initiate contact. Just start up a casual conversation, ask him about his interests, tell him about yours, and provide him with an opening to ask you out at some point. He's shy, but not completely ignorant. Chances are, if he's interested in you, he's constantly trying to figure out how to talk to you, but doesn't know how, which results in him not talking. I do the same exact thing. If you're interested in him, try to be patient, drop some subtle hints, and if all else fails, ask him out. There's no shame in it, my first girlfriend asked me out because I was too nervous around her lol and we had an amazing relationship. Good luck :)

  • Hmm I think I would go for something simpler on initiating a conversation. Just ask him something about that history class (it does not even matter if you do know what you ask, just be sure that he knows about it) and then you may continue like "how do you like this class?", etc. Don't complicate things :)

  • aw well he's quite the lucky guy!

    I think just being supportive/encouraging if he decides to speak to you, will help him build his confidence. Smiling and showing that you're interested in the conversation, helps alot. If he's really shy then perhaps you should be the one to break the ice with him. You could say hi and immediately follow up with a question regarding to the class, an observation or an opinion.

    You don't have to do a whole ton, the little things you do will add up (I think) and hopefully he'll control his nerves and make a move.

    thinking that things are awkward only makes it worse for both of you. You attitude towards what's going on between you two is not as discrete as you think.

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What Girls Said 2

  • A simple "Hey, how's it going?" is often quite an effective convo starter, just try to find something in common to talk about or ask him to help you out with something, just have a normal convo

  • Message him on Facebook or get his number and text him. I'm shy and when I'm talking to people I don't know that well and still feel shy around (especially someone I like) then I feel more comfortable doing it through fb or text first until I get to know them better. It just makes me less nervous, and then there's no awkward pauses and I don't have to try to think of what to say to the person I barely know. If you don't have his number and one or both of you guys don't have a fb, then tell him that you need help with something for the class and then ask for his number. Text/message him and ask a question about class, then when he answers say thanks and then say something about the class. You could talk about how hard it is, how boring your teacher is, how scary your teacher is, bring up a funny time in class, or anything that could start a conversation. With this, you could bring up other stories. Like if you guys are talking about how weird your teacher is then you could tell him about another weird teacher you have/had and share a funny story, and then maybe he'll have one to share too. I think that's the best way to start a conversation casually. Then you just have to try to keep it going. Ask him questions about himself so you get to know him, and respond with something about yourself too so he knows you better too and will know what to talk about with you. Try to find a common interest and talk about it. At school, try to be friendly and warm towards him. If you act too out there or bubbly/loud, it could make him feel uncomfortable. Smile at him, laugh when he says something funny, let him know that you enjoy talking to him. There are different reasons why a person can be shy. I think I covered: feeling uncomfortable, not knowing what to talk about, and insecurities so far. Keep those in mind when you talk to him so you don't make him feel less shy. Maybe compliment him on his shirt or something too so he feels more confidant about himself. He's also more likely to compliment you if you compliment him first. And if he doesn't talk to you in person right away, don't worry, just wait. Depending on how shy he is or how comfortable you make him feel, he might have to get to know you better through messaging/text first until he talks to you in person more. If you see him around school, say hi to him and smile so he can gradually get more used to being around you and to talking to you. Also try joining his conversation with his friend. I feel more comfortable when I'm around my friends, so if I meet someone while I'm with my friends, I'm more likely to be open to that person and less shy. That might work with him too, so join their conversation so he'll continue talking and feel less nervous.

    • My eyes lol

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    • Well, it's better than the guys who told her to strip or stick her hands in his pants...

    • so true girl