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He says he cares about me but doesn't want to hurt me...what should I do?

I called him out on being hot and cold and flaky and told him that I had feelings for him. He said he had been unsure whether or not I had feelings... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • I think it's a little of both. He's scared of hurting you and getting hurt himself, but he also doesn't really know how he feels yet. I would recommend letting him know that you still have feelings for him, and telling him that you're going to give him some time to work things out and decide what he wants.

What Guys Said 2

  • Both. Both actually. He is afraid and that creates confusion, so I suppose they are intertwined. You don't proceed.

    • So I should just tell him we need to set the boundary firmly as friends and that I'm going to date other guys?

    • Yes. He says "I'm not ready" so then you take that as a literal standard and say "Fine, then I'm off to see the Wizard of Oz without you!"

What Girls Said 1

  • Walk away until he is ready. This is a big red flag. It'll save you 3 or 6 months down the line after you are fully invested in a relationship with him and he bails because he is "still unsure and doesn't want to hurt you". You deserve a guy that knows he wants you and is prepared to do what it takes to be with you. Don't sell yourself short. This guy will let you down - I can promise you that. He was very honest with you. There is no mystery here. He told you clearly he wasn't ready for a relationship. Move onto a guy who is.

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