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Is he sensitive or manipulative? Or am I a bitch?

I told my boyfriend how in therapy I realized why I'm so depressed. I lived my whole life a virgin saving my self for marriage and I want to date seriously and we kind of aren't so I have been sad within myself and depressed (low self esteem) he knows I was religious when we met So anyway he had nothing to say which hurt because I'm expressing something essential I feel I'm ofc not pressuring him to marry me I just am expressing how untrue I have been to MYSELF and the progress I made and therapy which I clarified for himNever the less he got very grumpy and ignored me for hours on the fone until I just fell asleepThe next morning I asked him to pick up breakfast before we meet and he didn't even though he waited for me for 35 minsI got very annoyed and he got very angry like weird all mad sensitiveI kept cooing at him since my being annoyed makes him mad which in the end he started cryingI don't understand how you can b mad at me for being annoyed or mad at you but neverthe less to cry ?I got him tissue and he confessed he thinks I'm bossyI explained that ifhe feels that way he shld saybsoninstead of crying because we have to keep each other in check if I screw up correct me but crying? I want to respect him and I will more so if he speaks to me wen I offend him instead of internalizing it being bratty(He kept being like meh don't touch me and walking far behind me when he was mad)Is this man just sensitive, immature, manipulative because he just didn't want to pick up breakfast and was too chicken to admit it so felt the need to victimize himself?, or am I really such a bitch I drove the poor sorrowful man to tears being a bit bratty and bossy I ofc will accept responsibility for my wronging I shldnt have cooed at him but his reaction is very alarming

Updates:
Oh and by the way he kept saying for me that he internalized it because he can't tell or hit me since that's what you normally do to unleash your anger wen someone upsets u

O.o I asked you to pick up breakfast you didn't I got annoyed and you got mad enough to wanna hit me?

I'm missing something right

I repeated that to him he just shrugged and said that's jus how he is

He went out last night to a party and hasn't hit me up since usually he says good night or good morning but nope nothing
Omg *yell


Sorry for typos

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Saying that your sex life with him is the root cause of your depression may not make him feel very good about things.

    • I clarified its not my sex life but the decisions I make. If you decide to be vegan and u, because of your being caught up with your friends, haven't been practicing that you might get depressed because you haven't been true to yourself. It's nothing against your friends they didn't put a gun to your head just like my boyfriend didn't either.I was just confiding in him that I was disappointed in myself and in turn it has been a contributing factor to my depression.

    • Show Older
    • Even if I were to leave him. Where do I go to find someone who wants a family as much as I do? I thought saving myself was enough to show how serious I am I want to fall in love and be loved Ik I'm young but I have lived a full life I took care of my mom for years ik how to work and sustain myself and another person I'm about to get my own place I just don't know what I'm doing wrongI want to be happy and true to myself

    • I have. Been trying to be loyal and supportive of my boyfriend but I am disappointed to say I think we want different things which I think he wanted all along and just wanted to lose his virginity I may be wrong he may love me but I don't believe it is as much as he even thinks. Because true love he would honor what I want and even if he didn't believe in marriage he wouldn't make me feel like I'm pressuring him I'm being honest and have been since day 1He knew what it's always been

What Guys Said 2

  • Nah it just seems like you're asking a lot of him at the moment. I'll take it your age is right at 18-24, and for a guy it's a huge decision to decide to marry someone. So by you saying that's why you're depressed just seems really pushy (even though that's not what you say you want), and he will feel bad or feel obligated to marry you right now, just because you want something serious. That's what would run through his head anyway. I have no idea why he didn't get breakfast, but you still can't be angry with him because he didn't, it's not like he did it to annoy you. He waited 35 minutes for you atleast.Long story short, your boyfriend is too shy and submissive. He's trying to think everything over right now, and it is hard having a close one go through therapy, especially when you think you're the reason for it. But you being bossy and demanding won't help, I understand you're the one who's having a tough time but you have to take his feelings into consideration too.

    • I really didn't mean to be annoyed with him but him crying and getting angry he has explosive emotionsIk I was wrong I did apologize but he you are right he is very submissive and shy and quiet and laid back. Please help me because I am going through a lot I need someone stronger to be there for me I was wrong but correct me call me out shut me down snap me out of it but its like if he reacts this way how can I respect him or consider him well?I'm wrong ik it shld I just ask for space?

  • I hope your therapist is teaching you to how to solve your own issues rather than just being a support pillar that puts a band-aid on whenever you're feeling down.

    • I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean but if you explain it I will be sure to try discussing it in my next session with my therapist.

    • I just feel like because you're used to a therapeutic relationship(you and your therapist), the relationship between you and your emotionally underdeveloped boyfriend doesn't seem abnormal to you.People can change but only if they want to.

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