Do you think the opinions given on this site are realistic?

I've sort of come to notice that the opinions on this site don't really fit with what I see in the real world. Like according to the guys on here they like natural looking girls with little makeup, but all I see in reality is guys chasing the tails of very plastic looking girls. Another one is that girls like nice guys and that looks don't matter, but in reality I don't see many of the nice less attractive guys with girlfriends, let alone much female interest. Do you think a lot of people on this site are honest with the way things are in reality, or do they just tell people what they want to hear?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I really appreciate this question. Why? I've always tried to be helpful and give my honest opinion on a real world perspective. However it seems that people don't care about the advice they receive. They just agree with people who wrote something similar to what their question was and seem to get mad at other people. It makes no sense asking the questions... Yeah I'm just agreeing with you now and not really answering the question. How Ironic. The problem with advice is that everything in dating is really situational. So any opinions and advice on this site should be just that. They are opinions and not doctrinal truths. The reason there is no right or wrong in dating is that everyone is different. The basic rule is this, if a guy likes a girl and vice versa than they both know it than they'll probably end up dating. Well... OK I don't know what more to say I've been awake for over 24 hours now and I don't know why I'm still awake.

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What Guys Said 26

  • I'm rather appalled by how many people on here assume people are lying or too stupid to realize they're lying. The truth is, people on this site are giving their opinions. They have no reason to lie to you. And they are well aware of their emotions and what they genuinely like and don't like.

    Let me address your two false assumptions as examples:

    Guys REALLY TRULY don't chase girls with lots of make up on more than girls with less make up on.. I don't know many guy friends who like that. And if you never noticed, most girls with boyfriends-- you don't see wearing as much make up as the girls with no boyfriends. Why? Because most boyfriends ask their girlfriends to stop wearing excessive make up. Or so, has been the experience with all of my friends. And clearly the experience of many many users on this site. So do guys go for girls specifically cause they wear make up? No. But that doesn't mean we won't date a girl just because she wears make up, we'll look beyond it, and once we're comfortable and close enough to speak freely without hurting her feelings, ask them to stop wearing it.

    Many are taking the assumption that people on this site are lying or don't know what they want-- that's wrong.

    You need to realize when a "plastic" girl gets boys chasing her, you notice it a lot more often than when the normal girl does-- because it is something you have a negative opinion on. The normal girl slides right past your brain as if it never happened (you have no reason to think about it, because it doesn't aggravate you), whereas you remember the plastic girl as if it happened 10 times..

    As for the other claim, if you paid attention to many of the users on here, you'd know that girls don't just like "nice" guys, but also attractive guys. Do looks matter? This question has come up tons of time, and most people answer yes a physical attraction is a most definite plus (if not a requirement). It is less frequent for a girl to say that only personality matters, and they'd totally bang a guy with pimples and warts all over just cause he was nice.

    So when you ask do girls like nice guys, of course they say yes. And are they being 100% completely honest to you? Yes. Why wouldn't they like nice guys? But that doesn't mean they don't also like hot looking guys, who may not be as introverted as your stereotypical "nice" guy.

    I know this isn't perhaps the most favorite or most eloquent response, but it's true. Do you really think it is more likely that everyone is lying (or biased), than that your perspective to what is "reality" is potentially bias?

    The most bias you'll get on here is

    1.) Question bias

    For example, you heavily biased this questions towards agreeing with your perspective. AND

    2.) Demographic bias

    With that in mind, for the most part, polling on here is still pretty representative to people as a whole.

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    • I don't want people directly addressing or trying to disprove those examples like it makes their whole argument, because they are just that, examples. There are many other ways in which people on this site often do not answer questions in relation to the way things are in reality. They do it as more of a confidence building exercise.

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    • If I'm not suppose to address your examples, and you're not gonna offer any other evidence... How else could I possibly disprove your theory? It's a bit unfair for you to make claims, and then say people can't dispute them. What am I suppose to disprove if not you're claims? random examples of my own? I can't make my own examples, cause then you'll just say you never said people lied about that. I can't reasonably address, agree or disagree with something you didn't say.

    • Please do not think I'm argumentative (such is the mistake of online disputes), I'm merely seeking to explore your reasoning for your side of the debate. My main question is, what examples or proof would you want people addressing if not your own? And, what exactly makes your argument if you're now denying your two examples as solid proof to your claim?

      Is there something you felt you left out or otherwise feel you want to add, that you want people addressing in place of what was already said?

  • Honestly, women and men are both full of sh*t, on this site and off. Part of it has to do with the fact they can't be honest with themselves. Part of it has to do with not being mean. And part of it has to do with getting other people to like them.

    One thing I can say with certainty, "everyone is full of it". Some people think they are generally good people, their view is usually skewed. Some people think they aren't good people, their view is usually skewed. Some people think the world is full of bad people and they are good, their view is always skewed. We all like to believe we do the right things, and we always will. That's not the case. Not for them, not for you, not for me.

    Partially because were human and make mistakes. We're not perfect, that's okay. But lying to ourselves to cope is a bad method to choose. People have a hard time forgiving others, but even an amazingly harder time forgiving themselves. The list of excuses you will hear to shift the blame off of them is amazing. Taking responsibility is hard because you feel guilty. The other part is that our view of good and bad, right and wrong- it can change. Usually does change with experience.

    What does that have to do with your question? We'll that frame of mind plays a big part in our every day lives. We talk a big game when it comes to our beliefs. Any time somebodies perception of what's right, and their perception of what they actually want doesn't match, they will feel guilty about it. Society says it's wrong to care more about looks than anything else. So when a guy cares more about looks than anything else, he probably doesn't feel too good about it. He might feel shallow. Even worse, he's worried about others seeing him as shallow and viewing him as a bad person. Sure the occasional guy is really just saying what you want to hear- "Looks don't matter" simply because he's trying to deceive you, but those people border on sociopaths and I'm not referring to them.

    Most of them aren't intentionally maliciously lying to you. Most of them are either A) unknowingly lying to you because the truth would probably crush their own skewed view of themselves B) lying to you but feeling guilty about it because being honest makes them look like a horrible person. Their true feelings and societies moral right and wrong don't line up so they feel like they have no choice. C) lying, and they don't feel too bad about it, because they figure it won't hurt you at all. And they think the truth will hurt with no benefit. Men and women both follow one of these lines of thought.

    The truth is that people will pick hearing what feels good over the truth. The truth hurts, people don't like to be hurt. They may say they want the truth, but they don't. Most people, admitted or not, know that the idea of the truth is often a lot better than the reality of the truth.

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    • Nope. I genuinely dislike make up on the average user. I asked my last girlfriend to stop wearing it (and she did), not because I felt like that's the kinda guy I wanna be.. but because I seriously don't find significant applications of make up to be attractive (in fact quite the opposite). I don't think the majority of people on this site are lying to make themselves feel like a better person. And I find their votes, and opinions to be an accurate representation of their beliefs.

  • I think most people attempt to answer honestly, but the challenge is that most of them are answering purely using their 'logical' mind. It requires a lot of self awareness to recognize what you'd actually do in a situation taking your emotions into account.

    You also need to be careful in separating how people view two different people vs. two behaviors by the same person. In the case of guys and makeup, for example, lets assume make up, done properly can make a woman look somewhat better. So when a guy says he prefers 'natural', what that _usually_ means is either A: he doesn't like poorly done makeup, or B: he'd rather a girl who is an '8' without makeup to a girl who is naturally a 6 or 7 but looks like an 8 _with_ makeup. Well that's obvious enough. But for a given girl, her choices are not to be a natural 8, or an '8' with makeup, its to be the way she is without makeup, or slightly better with. Well done makeup helps HER.

    But none of this means people are lying or necessarily trying to make people feel good. You just have to be careful in reading their answers when they answer from the head more then the heart.

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  • The opinions are honest, but GAG doesn't represent the world at large on every topic.

    This site is, for example, more atheist than the general population too.

    But another factor which is also in play, is that people suffer from what is known as "Confirmation Bias".

    If you are convinced that guys only chase pneumatic blond bombshells, then you will only notice those guys whos actions confirm your bias. You will ignore or forget any evidence which contradicts your preconception.

    For example, most of the guys I know prefer natural looking girls. Most of the guys on this site do too. But girls with lots of make up will still get hit on, and you have no way of knowing if the guys who hit on those girls *would* **prefer* if they wore less make up.

    You won't consider possibilities which contradict your preset opinion. That's confirmation bias.

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    • I know confirmation bias, I'm a psychology major lol. I was actually thinking it may be more to do with the fact that people on here want to view themselves as not shallow and not like the the rest of the world, so I feel like they might tweak their answers a little. Almost like they don't want to admit that they are like this at times.

    • Well, I know that's not true for me, as when I am being shallow, I choose to go anon.

      I strive for honesty always, because that's what will be helpful to someone else. Sometimes it reflects well on me. Sometimes it doesn't. But that's why the Anon flag is there.

  • Sometimes I wonder is GAG a separate world from the real world we live in, I honestly never see genuinely good guys getting girls that they want, and I know it's sad but most of the really beautiful women are single aswell. People tend to go for what's easy, a girl with a fake tan, tonnes of makeup and boobs hanging out = easy while chasing a girl with a little self respect takes more time. I think sometimes people on here are honest but for the most part people are told what they want to hear

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  • I don't see the majority on this site as being true to "my" reality but I've also realized GAG is a demographic of users who are all essentially like minded people. Most look alike, think alike, and quack alike. That's not a bad thing but you must also realize the majority of users are not those you would consider "adept" at communicating with the opposite gender.

    If you thought the purpose of this site was to provide it's user with useful advice you'd be wrong. It's the obvious purpose but what makes this site successful is that it actually provides it's users with a support system. People are mainly here to talk about themselves and the problems they're going through and they do that through their advice.

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    • I disagree. I don't think like you; talk like you; and I'm most likely much more attractive than you. ;) I look towards this site for statistics. What do most girls like. How do most guys act in this given situation. In most cases, I couldn't care less if their opinion supports mine. I only care that it's their true opinion, cause that gives me the most insight towards an objective, reasonable answer that most people would agree with.

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    • GAG is in fact a demographic and using it, in turn, makes you apart of that demographic. I'm not saying that's all you are. We generally fall into many demographics and oddly enough they can all contain different traits and characteristics, but you are apart of the GAG demographic. You share many common traits.

    • Don't get me wrong, I do agree there is a demographic. What I don't believe, is that the site's audience is not truly representative to the population it seeks to represent. Or that the users are biasing there own answers to suit what they want to be rather than what they are. Do you have any insight to confirm your claim that people are doing it ? Or is it more of a feeling that you often have, that you believe is a universal feeling?

  • i don't think its that we don't like girls in make up, we just hate being able to see the layers of the make up...thats gross...like if I were to rub my face up against a girl and I got her make up on me...ew

    as for the girls liking nice guys, I'm gonna have to agree with you on that...to me, its all about the approch, being different...you can be nice, its just usually the nice guys are, well, nice...all they have to do, in any situation, is stick out from the rest...after that the girl can decide if she is interested in the nice guy or not...its usually the a holes that win because they are the ones that don't care and the girls are like hmm wtf, here is a challenge...thats just how I see it anyways

    they all want the nice guys, but they want that challenege or "stand out" guy and the problem is the nice guys just want to be a gentlemen...unfortunatly it doesn't really work that way

    good question!

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  • Being a media-student I would have to ask; What's the target-market of this site? Exactly what types of people does this site attract?

    I just can't imagine that these so called tail-chasers and plastic people would be the ones that hang out on this site. People on this site are more likely people who are interested in discussing relationship-issues seriously. People who want genuine advice.

    I can be a bit shy in real life so I haven't shown many people that I like girls that in general aren't like all the rest.

    I don't think people are dishonest on this site simply because reality seems to say otherwise. People on this site are just a minority that's less commonly seen in everyday life. I could be wrong but that's just my opinion.

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  • It's a lot easier to write out what we want. But in real life, we don't have girls/guys lined up to choose from with their personalities on clipboards.

    Now don't forget, the people writing here have all one thing in common- the desire to understand what the opposite gender is thinking, and to help when the opposite gender asks questions. That's the point of this site.

    What happens when most guys/girls don't think past their hormones? They act on impulse. Chasing pretty girls, girls chasing attractive guys.

    Honestly, having been on here a bit, I've noticed a lot of "never having a g/bf before, but ready to have one" that causes me to question the reliability of answers. Guys will often ask questions or answer questions on the basis of, "girls don't know what they want, I'm perfect for them but they're with jerks... etc etc.

    Not all here, but enough to annoy me just a bit.

    I think a lot of people on this site are honest with the way things are in their reality. Just like everyone in life. A few guys friends I have believe you must treat a girl like a perfect princess that must be forgiven always, as well as buying her many many presents... just so she'll stay with him.

    I think they're crazy, and I treat girls in a teasing, pushy around way. Have for awhile now. They think I'm crazy and am "horrible to women."

    Whenever you take a opinion (just like mine here) you MUST ask yourself this.

    WHAT is their response to my question

    WHO are you asking? (Like close friend, stranger off the street, on this site)

    WHY are they responding like this? What's their rationale? If you ask someone the reliability of girls when their girlfriend just cheated on them, think they'll say most girls won't cheat on you? Lol, nope, they'll say all girls are whores.

    Never just take someones word for it. That's the difference between a young girl in love with a player and a girl who's in love with someone who cares. Actions are loud.

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  • Seen many questions like these, Do I look pretty ect. and the girl/boy that asked the question was the ugliest creature I ever seen. and all of the answers were like "aww your beautiful". Yeah you know I mean?

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  • Their opinions aren't that far fetched, its the *people* who ain't realistic

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  • This topic has been ranted many times over, I also have made questions like that and discussed this thing.

    No, the answers here are not realistic, but I always answer honestly and truthfully, even if it may offend someone.

    People here want to get virtual perks, upvotes, positive comments, Best Answers, approval!

    But you won't get those things if you gonna be honest, people can get very upset after hearing the truth.

    They think: what's the point of arguing with some crazy bitch and ruining my mood so I rather lie and tell "no, looks don't really matter and you're actually quite pretty" and you think you've done a good job making someone feel better.

    Though you actually set them up for imminent disappointment, sooner or later!

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    • That exactly what I was thinking. The people who don't take the answers on here with a grain of salt are going to go out there with all these views and beliefs only to realize that its actually not that way at all. I mean its nice to make someone feel good, especially when they are very insecure, but you have to wonder whether its nicer to just tell them the truth

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    • Those are only 2 questions which are months old and they don't reflect what's going around here now, plus many of those answers are sugarcoated and very vague.

      I don't know why do you think everyone's here honest and truthful, why do you try to rationalize it but the way I see it here lies are tossed around all the time!

    • Well since you denied my proof on the basis of it's age, I asked the question again. link

      Hopefully this isn't too old of a reference for you.

      I don't know why you think everyone on here is a liar. Perhaps it's because you feel like you're more honest than the rest of the world? I assure you, the average person is surprisingly more honest than you perceive.

  • Very True, I think that is because people here have too many issues or don't have dating experience. I mean if you were busy screwing girls or a girlfriend, do you think you would be here? No I don't think so you would be too busy to be on here and honestly you would think this site its full of people who can't get laid or a relationship.

    Funny but true.

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  • Considering the fact that like almost all the guys on here are virgins.. no, lol. Don't mean to offend anyone btw

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    • That's only because most guys on here are under age. Virginity doesn't define someone as representative of the norm or not. Virgin or not, you can decide whether you like make-up or a more natural look. Your virginity shouldn't affect that.

    • Well a lot of them have never even had girlfriends. A guy whos never dated is going to have a different opinion than someone that has.

  • most people on here our being honest...but probably don't really have any actual experience in what theyre talking about.

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  • 10 million voices can't be wrong. There are at least a few cynical/skeptic/realists in this crowd who aren't afraid to speak their mind... or use the anonymous button THEN speak their mind haha. I believe at least half of it is realistic.

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  • Well I prefer a girl to wear minimal makeup, but some do benefit by wearing more. Depends on the girl really.

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  • Well in my case..don't think like the "rest of the world" at least in some respects...so if you follow my answers you will notice that the mesh sometimes and sometimes not...I really do prefer little or no make up & small breasts. The "rest of the world"? Not my day to watch them...(:

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  • Yes and no. Some people aren't afraid to speak their mind, voice their opinion, and some just say the nearest thing to BS. It's unlike the real world in a lot of ways, and then, it's just the internet.

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  • I think it's you noticing what the wrong guys are after. I can quite genuinely say I don't want a "plastic". (Yes, I've seen Mean Girls...great film)

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    • I've just noticed the people on this site don't give very realistic advice. They are able to separate themselves from the situation because they aren't experiencing it. They can tell an unattractive guy that its not about looks, etc. but in reality, do any of them actually think that, or are they just trying to make people feel better? That's my point.

  • In other words. "no honesty"

    There are some people who are honest and some who aren't but the vast majority just tell you want you want to hear.

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  • Yes they're realistic. What would anyone have to gain by lying?

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    • Except for the girls like nice guys part, that's BS.

  • Are you giving -1's to people that don't agree with you?

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  • I think lots of people on this site have very little life experience overall and very idealistic views. I also believe most people want to be nice and liked by others so they try to be conciliatory.

    There is also a lot of laziness in the answers, people just repeating what they heard like monkeys, just because it's easier than thinking on their own.

    I don't think most people are bad, but I think most answers are worthless and as you say very far from reality. Fortunately, there are some people with experience and intelligence, with the willingness to speak their mind, and with the desire to help others by sharing their views. That's what I look for, the worthy answers in the minestrone of insipid lazy bs.

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  • Many girls IRL will go with the first guy that asks them out (called, not having a type) if they do have a type, some go for the "hot" ones even if they treat them badly (which is actually found in girls who have sort of become tolerant to it). That's just how it goes.

    Also, IRL how many of the guys you see chasing "fake plastic girls" are guys who you'd think never have a shot with. Girls like that rarely get approached and when they do, it's usually by a**holes, so they go for them (see above).

    You have to keep in mind that sometimes, what you see is what you get. Whether it's online, or IRL

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  • Well, first off, where do you live? Gimme a country and possibly a state if you're American if you're not comfortable telling me your city.

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    • Why would that matter? I'm Australian btw

    • Because people can be a lot more vain and shallow depending on the place. California for example.

What Girls Said 11

  • It can be both. It varies.

    I think people just say a bunch of sh*t.. Even if it doesn't make any sense.. After all, there are SOME insensitive virgins on here.

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  • Definitely not. Like the pattern in the guys' opinions on "natural looking women," it is more like their real ideals for a woman, but they don't necessarily need to be met for them. And I'm sorry but that whole nice guys thing is a load of BS. Sometimes it seems like a lot of the girls on here say things like "looks don't matter" just to make the QA feel better about themselves or say things like "everyone's beautiful in their own way" that make them seem less shallow. Honestly, who cares if you sound mean/superficial, people need a reality check sometimes. So basically, I feel that people answer in a way to make themselves appear less fake and they (for the most part) tell people what they want to hear, IMO.

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  • Well it depends, I agree that a lot of the answers are cliche but you have to think about it more. A guy will go after the fake looking girls but how many times do they fall in love with them and want to marry them? Not often unless they have an amazing personality to go a long with it. When it comes to the nice guys, a lot of times these guys don't approach the girls. Or they do and the girl is already superficial. You really have to look at the ages and where they are in their lives. Of course if they're younger and care more about looks then they're going to go for the good looking person.

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  • What I think -

    It would be nice having a nice guy as a boyfriend if they didn't get offended / upset easily.

    I can be moody at times. Being moody, I wouldn't be able to have a nice guy at my side to live with if they can't take all my emotions. I need a guy with a strong mind who can put up with it lol.

    So that's one reason why most girls probs wouldn't pick a nice guy, we're emotional and moody at times. You have to be careful what you say sometimes with nice guys. You can't have a proper fight with most nice guys without them getting offended. They're too nice. That's why theyre usually in the friend zone with me.

    Looks do matter to me. How do you think I get attracted to someone if I don't know them? Their appearance counts.

    But if I know them long enough and see them for who they really are but are average looking, it's their personality that is more important.

    It depends how I meet the person you happen to go out with, and how long I have known them for.

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  • Noooo

    a lot of these mothereffas are living in an alternate reality, I don't think they leave their houses much and interact amongst normal people because the things they say sometimes are like not matching up to reality at all

    They just tell others what they want to hear and a lot of the more truthful answers get downrated and showered with crazy comments

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  • i totally agree with you its like they say this type of girl but in in reality they go off with the fake chicks and it leaves me wondering...this site is supposed to be helping other out to be truthful and not just be nice and say what they want to hear..if I just wanted to hear the answer I want to hear I would just ask my best friend..im the type of girl who wants the truth no matter what and I think people beat around that damn bush

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  • no I don't think so...

    example:

    guys on here say they prefer the natural girl but in real life they all want the p*rnstar-style girl with tons of make up lol

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  • I agree with the first half, and somewhat with the second. I see plenty of attractive girls with less attractive guys. I think it's cos there are, in general, more attractive women than there are men.

    But yes, I think that people here give PC answers that are idealistic, unrealistic and rather misleading. Or maybe it's just because the people here are different from most of the people you encounter IRL, and that disparity shows itself in the difference of opinions. *shrugs* On the other hand, you have some people with little to no experience with the opposite gender, so they "guess" how they'd feel in a certain situation or whatever - sometimes this can breed incredibly insightful answers, other times it's just what "should" be said.

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  • I have just joined this site like a week ago and yeah some people I think write what they think people want to hear and not in their own opinion. I give people my own opinions and ways I would handle the situations they ask about :).

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  • no way, too many straight edge, narrow minded, goodie goodies, "I would never cheat" "I date good guys" they act like they are perfect which gives them the right to JUDGE. The guys are a single losers, who got dumped by one grl and are now bitter for the rest of their life, "I'm a good guy, why don't girls like me, Waaaah!"

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  • I think it goes half and half, sometimes people give really different answers because they don't know the whole story behind the question asker's situation. We merely answer based on details we read. I'd like to think most answers are realistic, at least that's what I try to be when I answer someone's question.

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