How long do you wait for a guy?

(I think I have a few different questions here.)

If you've clearly expressed interest in a man and he has expressed interest in you, how long do you wait for him to make a move (especially considering that you made the first move and then backed off)? Is it a lost cause after a few months have elapsed?

Do guys take time to heal after a breakup? I think he went through something awful right around the time we met and I always wonder if he's suffering from a broken heart. I've never had my heart broken at the end of a relationship like that so I can't compare it to any of my own experiences.


Most Helpful Guy

  • in response to your first paragraph: while you may have thought you made it clear that you liked him, you have to understand men don't understand subtlety and body language like women do. many men will never see it if it isn't said aloud in plain english. the problem is that what one woman does to flirt another one does who is just being friendly. bottom line: if you haven't straight up told him you like him, don't assume he's aware.

    secondly, yes, guys can take a long time to recover from a breakup but it really varies depending on the person. some guys take days, some take weeks, some take months, some even take years if it was serious.

    why don't you be the one to approach him?


What Guys Said 4

  • Unless the guy is bitter about women after the break up he should respond to flirting. Well, come to think of it, if he is bitter he should also respond, although in a negative way.

    If you find him interesting why do not you make the first move?

    • Well I asked him out for coffee twice back in April and both times he said he was too busy, and I've been scared to ask him again ever since! He's still into me but... I dunno, he's a strange guy. I feel like I'm trying to get a frightened squirrel to approach me, hahaha.

  • Men don't heal, men go for the rebound. Faggy little boys heal.

    • Meh I don't really WANT to be a rebound.

    • Every girl after the first one is a rebound.

  • How long do you wait for him to make a move? I suggest you say something like this to him: "I really like you, and I want to date you. I understand if you're not ready, but on the other hand I can't wait forever. I can't guarantee I'll be single, but I hope you'll contact me sometime." Unless you've been *exactly* that specific, there might be some doubt about where you stand.

    Do guys need time after a breakup to heal? Yes, everyone needs time to recover, especially if it was a rough breakup. But guys usually handle it differently than girls. A few times I've recovered in weeks. Once, I needed 18 months to get over a girl.


What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah I would think it would be a lost cause but if he is still showing interest then he's being a pussy. He's not going to make a move. Sorry, but you're gunna have to do it. Plus, Guys like getting asked out. I mean they always have to do it. They have to propose. They have to ask us to dance. Society says that stuff is all on them so it's nice when they get asked sometimes.

    And if he is suffering from a breakup or something then the best thing you can be is his friend. Be his shoulder to cry on and be there. You'll get close, he'll trust and like you and that usually turns into something. I remember I really liked this guy that I found out had a bad breakup. We were sitting in a bar with mutual friends and me and him went off to talk. I kept it in the friend zone so he would feel comfortable opening up with me. A month later he asked me out. He said that he has enjoed my company and was over being upset about someone "like that". That he wanted to spend time with someone he liked and really loved spending time with. I was like whoo hoo! lol But as far as how long you should wait? I don't know hun because that is different for everyone. How long are you willing to wait?

  • I would only wait like for a couple of weeks for the guy and then give up hope because if they really like you then they will not wait long to ask you out.