Do you find it easy to forgive? Or do you forgive?
Can you move on, or will you avoid the person forever?
How did you get over it to get on with life?
Okay, sorry to everyone that has answered already. This is a hypothetical question. I'm asking what You do when someone hurts You. It's not because I can't forgive anyone specific. Please answer with that in mind and, if you want, give your examples.
Basically once a guy hurts me, I lose the trust and security in him. It would take many things for him to do to prove that he's worth another chance, emotional and mental things, money or any gifts wouldn't buy me back. However if I notice myself wasting time on him when he isn't trying to recover what he's done, I'd quit forever, because I hate when someone plays with my emotions (it's just when I really like the guy), once his personalty is figured, there's no point to re-figure it. For relationship or any type of friendship to work, trust is number one thing. It's just about the effort second party puts to repay what he/she's done.
This is an excellent question! Hmmm I throw my shoes at them! LOL Nah just kidding! I let myself feel the hurt until it heals and forgiveness speeds up that process. Depending on what they did, I'll move on either way, but just because I forgive them doesn't mean that I'll have anything to do with them. I keep in mind that they don't control me or pay my bills and therefore they can't stop me from getting on with my life, only I can. So that helps me pick up the pieces, put myself back together, and get on with my life.
Because the situation is so vague, there are innumerable ways to combat this question. I'm going to go from personal experience. When I found out my boyfriend cheated on me, I was devastated. I felt lost and betrayed, not to mention angry beyond mention. We are still together so I had to learn to forgive him in order for the relationship to last beyond this event. At first it was really challenging. I would throw his infidelity in his face and it effected our relationship, I resented him and he was stressed due to the fact that I couldn't let the situation go. Over time, I have gotten less angry at the situation and life is back to normal. I think to truly forgive someone who broke your trust, you have to let trust rebuild first, which takes time. Also remember the saying, "Its easier to forgive than to forget"
Well it's always easiest to admit to yourself you're not over that person. I liked a guy a lot even though we didn't go out except one "date". He stopped liking me but didn't tell me so I embarrassed myself by always talking to him and stuff. One day I asked him-even though I knew the answer- to "Do you like me or not? " When he said no it sucked a lot. It's been two months and for awhile it was a real struggle. I got over him by stop talking to him altogether and always trying to never be where I knew he'd be. It was real hard walking by him in the hallway knowing that we went on this "date" and I had a great time but he didn't. I got over him by getting really busy in other things like school and band.
It depends on how they hurt you and how badly it affected you. The easiest thing to do with someone that has hurt you is to forgive and forget. Forgive them and forget them. You have to move on, because if they hurt you they are not worth your time. Don't avoid them forever- maybe down the road you will find a friendship again, but don't try and be best friends today. Just remember, there's many other people out there that won't hurt you and that will make you much happier.
It's really tough to act like nothing happened when someone has really hurt you--and often times, its not a good idea either. When I've been truly hurt in the past, I will usually draw back for a while, and think about what happened between me and the other party. I'll try to understand their actions, and the whole situation. Most of the time, I can usually come to some understanding as to why they chose those actions, even if they wouldn't have been the actions I've taken. If I really don't understand, I might go to them after a week or so and ask them to explain why they did what they did.
Then I try to decide if those actions reflect the kind of person I want to associate with. If the answer is yes, I'll go talk to them, and try to make peace with what happened. If the answer is no, I will go my separate way, because I know no one is benefiting from the friendship/relationship.
I am really sensitive, once I get hurt I won't forget it forever, but the thing is I forgive or act like nothing happened. It's only when I really like the guy. But if it happens too many times I just quit on him.
Because the situation is so vague, there are innumerable ways to combat this question. I'm going to go from personal experience. When I found out my boyfriend cheated on me, I was devastated. I felt lost and betrayed, not to mention angry beyond mention. We are still together so I had to learn to forgive him in order for the relationship to last beyond this event. At first it was really challenging. I would throw his infidelity in his face and it effected our relationship, I resented him and he was stressed due to the fact that I couldn't let the situation go. Over time, I have gotten less angry at the situation and life is back to normal. I think to truly forgive someone who broke your trust, you have to let trust rebuild first, which takes time. Also remember the saying, "Its easier to forgive than two forget"
Moving on is not a problem so much as forgiving the person. Mostly, I just tried to cut the person out of my life thinking maybe that time and distance would allow me to let it go. I've (kind of) forgotten about the whole ordeal but when I do think about it, I still become angry. So it's a no-go on forgiveness, at least for now, if ever. For me, I don't think I'll ever be able to truly offer forgiveness in the form you're talking about. I can only push the pain to the back of my mind and conveniently forget it's there. Not healthy psychologically maybe, but neither is wishing well the person who did this imho.
I'm going to answer this in the form of a breakup.
I have been in 2 breakups in my life which of course are not very happy moments in life, but I just recently broke up with my girlfriend and it sucks nuts. Sadly both break ups for me the girl broke up with me for whatever reason and to get over these things for me was time and just keeping your distance from this person. Don't call, text, or even talk to them because then you will just be constantly reminded of how they hurt you or just everything you might not have anymore. Having awesome friends help a lot with break ups. But bottom line is that distance and just time to heal. I actually talk to my first ex and we have been broken up for a good 4 years now but it took a while for me even talk to her again. You might not even talk to this person ever again but it does happen, not an impossibility. I do not find it easy to forgive but will eventually forgive the other person. As for moving on, I have with my first ex but just breaking up with my current girlfriend about 2 weeks ago, I'll give you an update on how I'm doing when I get over it. Haha.
But life will always go on, there is always something or someone out there, the hardest part is getting yourself to accept this and realize it. Hope this helped somewhat =].
I forgive immediately by choice and try to make amends, even if they are supposed to. But secretly the little grudge may live on to become a monster or otherwise be annihilated by a significant reimbursement or favor by the culprit.