I am a fat, balding, middle-aged lonely white-guy (that's heavily in debt), should I:

a) kill myself

b) suck it up and learn to enjoy my two best friends; my dog and my computer.

c) pretend to have feelings for others (when I don't).

d) go to that website for Thai girls and order me an Asian hottie?

e) none of the above

f) other

Thanks to all of you who were generous enough to respond. You all made good points. Being alone and isolated can be a bitch but it's not insurmountable. I hope you all go on to find happiness and endless fulfillment in the relationships you choose.


Most Helpful Girl

  • well, what you could do is get on your computer, download some upbeat music, upload it to an MP3 player, and take your dog for a nice walk at least three days out of the week for half an hour. That'll help you lose weight, if that's bothering you.

    balding has two options: just shave it all off and pull off that bald look (which can be very sexy) or you can buy some rogaine and grow some of it back.

    idk if you're working or not, but maybe you can get a weekend job or sell some unwanted stuff around your house on Amazon, eBay or half.com. you'll earn some extra cash that way (by the way, we're all heavily in debt my friend, so you don't stand alone lol).

    last but not least, feel a little better about yourself. go get a hobby of some sort. try to write or read. go volunteer at an elderly home or a shelter. get to know some people who are volunteering and people who need help. go to church on sundays or at least try and find a place where you can seek solace (I like sitting at the pier or going to the library). don't be so hard on yourself.

    • By the way, suicide is never the answer to anything. nobody wants you to go like that and you shouldn't choose to live or die. let life happen and deal with it as it comes. when life gives you lemons, you don't make suicide threats, you trade them for limes and make mojitos!

What Girls Said 32

  • You should do f) other...get outta the house and try to break out of your shell! You can't meet anybody if your stuck at home all the time on the computer! Go out, make friends, let them set you up with people. OR go on a dating site and see if you can find someone that way.

  • order an asian hottie =D

    --or just put yourself out there and find someone

  • i have an issue when white guys look down on Asian girls like this. Even though I'm half Asian, I think it's just horrible how some guys go back to countries like Thailand and do whatever they want to do because the government is so irresponsible there and encourages prostitution. those are some big issues-immoral and looks bad on both parties/ groups of people

    and as for your choices, I'm sure there are better ways to spend your time.

    • Your story about me is false and hateful.

      Your snide remarks reveal more about you than the story you are attrempting to frame about me.

    • Show All
    • QA - You said you were a fat, balding middle aged man that's heavily in debt then asked if you should find yourself a thai girl. Why a Thai girl? Why not a girl near you? The way you phrased everything was derogatory towards Asian girls. Think about it.

    • For those of us who are humor impaired, I think he was making a light hearted reference to the existence of "mail order brides." they exist. seriously. and it totally isn't this guys fault. stop taking things so seriously just because you have asian ancestry. he wasn't "looking down" on all asians. and before you come back and say I must be a genocidal lunatic, I'll have you know I love most foreign cultures. you must dislike a lot of comedians

  • 1) go on a HEALTHY low carb diet = meat and tons of veggies

    2) get rogaine or shave your entire head - this actually looks pretty good on balding guys (or at least buzz it SUPER short so it's less obvious)

    3) get more hobbies that make you happy like weightlifting (endorphins) or outdoors things (fresh air and nature) or taking a class (intellectual stimulation) and do them with groups, join more groups that can help you meet women you actually have stuff in common with.

    4) most people have at least some debt - see a free/cheap consumer credit counselor so you're at least DOING something about it, which will make you feel better.

    • Low carbohydrate diets starve your brain of the energy providing nutrients it needs most. Remember, everything in moderation.

    • I just mean he should get his carbs from healthy sources like vegetables instead of junk food like white bread and doritos and candy.

  • i think you should go out to the bar or something an socialize. there has to be something to do where you are. why don't you drive into the city and just find a place to go? or join a forum online and talk to people (kinda like here)

  • g) Go see a shrink?

    • Already did that. She thinks I'm a great guy and can't find anything wrong. Pretty sad when you gotta pay someone to be your friend.

    • Wrong, shrinks aren't friends with patients. Don't make that mistake. Then I think, keep a positve mind, and open mind. You gotta stay open for good things to happen.

  • I think D sounds like the most fun :P

  • in my opinion you should figure out some way of building your confidence. Whether it's to sort out your financial situation or join a gym and get fit. Once you have that down things should start falling into place. Don't let age or anything else be a factor preventing you from having the life you want.

    I know its easier said then done but you have to start somewhere.

  • F.

    If being bald bothers you get that new hair transplant thing. If it doesn't then who cares. If being fat bothers you, lose some weight. Eat better and go running. If not then deal with it. Middle age and white happen, I don't see the problem there. If you're lonely then fix it. Find someone to keep you company, don't string them along though and make them think you care, let them know you enjoy their company but aren't looking for more. Of course some of these things are gonna cost money so you should probably get that in order too. Fix your debt. Fix your credit.

    Or sit there and pout and do nothing. It's your life, nobody is gonna fix it for you. If you wanna better yourself than do it.

  • Make the best of what you have, one day a woman is going to fall for you and not give a damn about what you look like and what kind of financial problems you have! Get yourself out there!

  • Anything that will make you feel better, do it.

  • None of the above.

    Just think you're in the typical American movie and get yourself a makeover, it's really not that hard, just diificult to really get up and do it:

    Start working out. The endorphins will make you happier, so you won't feel that depressed anyway. You will start to look better. Because you will start to look better you will start to take better care of yourself and pay more attention to your reflection if you look in the mirror.

    OK, so what you've accomplished now is that you look better--that means you will get more female attention. Maybe you'll meet someone.

    Not guaranteed off course, but you definitly will get more attention (which will make you AGAIN, happier). You will start to feel better about yourself.

    You will have more courage to do sit down and think of a solution for your financial issues.

    And so on.

    Seriously: all you need to do is get up and start to work out.

    I know it sucks in the beginning, especially when you're fat, but reallyreally try to think about how many carbs you burn with every move you make. And how happy you're making your body! (I know I sound dumb but just... you know: try to believe in it!)

    You will start to feel the difference and be happier in a week or so, just go for it, really.

    I was pretty fat too but most of the time I just thought: f*** it, I like pizza and brownies too much. But then, one day, my sister dragged me to the gym and I discovered working out actually CAN help. It's pretty amazing.

    I feel much better now, seriously.

    Just get out of bed one day and think: I'm going to take controll (actually doing something is not as bad as it seems) and make my mom proud!

    Just try to surprise the world. Nothing can beat that glorious feeling.

  • go to church and find god. he will help you with all your problems ;)

    • This is very true

    • Or just try reading some spiritual or inspirational books. if you feel like a loser that's what you are going to be. if you feel good about yourself you will be a winner in your eyes and that's what really matters.

  • ...I really had a bad day and you made me smile, honestly : )...Be more confident about yourself thank god there aren't only shallow people in the world...accept yourself and you ll see other people will accept you too...Its that difficult!


  • & same to you in reply to your update!

  • B. Then read 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers.

  • Find faith!

  • it is hard to be social but some times you just gotta do something differant wen you are not happy with how things are

    and if you want a asian hottie haha go for it

    just make sure unoe what you are getting in to

    i noe a guy who did tat and his mail ordar bride turned out to be a total bitch

  • D!

  • If you are balding, then you should take vitamins for hair growth.

    I heard about Reloxe is good for hair thinning. My friend used it and had given him a great results.

    Maybe you can try that.

  • Agree with Ceesa

  • well ur negatve and we have enough people likee tht in the world so I say a...JK JK JK JK JK JK

    E! none of those things will help!

  • You know what? Don't do any of those. Get involved in some charity work. It will raise your self esteem and you will feel fantastic about it. It's awesome. I love it... promise me you'll at least try it?

  • 1. get a lover

    2.get another pet

    3. travel

    4. take a vacation

    5. take up a sport

    6. vist someone you love

    7.get a new style

    8.suck it up

    9.wright reasons on why you like ur life

    10. go to church

  • Im sure there are women that will like you, but you probably don't like middle age and fat women.

  • Fat, balding, middle aged...even in tons of debt, you'd be amazed how much of this is a none issue for you not having a woman. Both sexes appreciate the other sex keeping in somewhat of a decent shape, both NONE of the things that you listed are reasons for not having a woman. Even with out your woes, you lack confidence, which is the sexist thing on a man.

    1. You don't like being "fat"? Join an exercise group and get out the house. Buy P90X and get off the couch. Do something about it. If I'm doing it, you could be doing it too. Work out before you go to work. You might find that exercise will improve your mood A LOT!

    2. Balding? Hey, a lot of chicks dig that and a lot don't. Find someone who is going to love you for you. If you're holding on to the sides...shave it off. It will look better. You may not have money for Bosley but I've heard that rubbing virgin coconut oil on your head will stimulate growth...I'm not sure how it works but its worth a try. I use it for nice, soft silky hair. Have heard of someone growing their hair back using it. A little goes a long way.

    3. Middle aged? Oh please! Do you know how many women are out there waiting for you? I know of a 41 year old man who could have me now if our situation was practical.

    4. If money can't make you happy, why does it make you this sad? I understand you because I have to pay back student loans and I'm working down 2 credit cards that helped me get into school AND I'm still in school. Looking back, we live we learn.

    5. This is life and you only have one. Be confident, content, and assured with yourself because there is plenty of women who share 1 or more issues that you have. You may have a extra pounds ( you CAN lose weight!), balding, middle aged, broke and lonely guy but I assure you that no woman wants a man who is down from these things and lacks confidence. Confidence and the acceptance of one's self is incredibly sexy.

  • B. feel good to your self.

  • Excellent! Brilliant! Did someone suggest A? Well no kidding. You seems to have such a sense of humor, can't believe there is no woman in your life!

  • I vote for B.

  • go for what YOU WANT in life; if you don't like losing hair, seek treatment, I know there's a few out there. want to be fit? take your dog for more walks, and get some weights. lonely but don't want to have to be close and care about people? Maybe take group lessons in something you want to do, or have some interest in-take up some new hobbies. Killing yourself is never the answer, since you seem to have had those thoughts, maybe you should start talking with a therapist. the suicide of one person affects at least 5 other people deeply.

  • More from Girls

What Guys Said 26

  • 1.

    plug off your computer, cut your nternet provider


    Get a life.

  • Suck it up, and get an Asian hottie

    enjoy your life man. We don't all get what we want out of life but enjoy what youve got because most people have it much worse. such as the asian hotties who are sold to westen men online.

    live life as full as you can iththe resource you have available

  • f) Other

    You have everything you need to re-invent yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get off your ass and DO something that will change things. Shave your head, get on a diet, go to the gym and in 5 years your whole life will be different.

    Keep the dog. :-)

    Good Luck,


  • I'm a fat balding late-twenty-something white-guy that's slightly in debt.

    I see a few things should be done here:

    1) Seek some therapy. It's extremely helpful to be able to talk to someone, even if you have to pay to do it.

    2) Work out. This won't help you (or me) with balding, but the confidence boost is tremendous. It's been helping me. Just understand the changes take time. You should be able to shed 1-2 pounds a week healthily. Get a trainer or join a workout group if the accountability and routine help you to keep going.

    3) Change your eating habits. Exercise alone won't help you lose weight and gain confidence. Eating unhealthy foods impacts your emotional state as well. Switch to proper portion sizes or healthy foods. That's not to say you can't have ice cream or cake... but remember to eat them in moderation and only occasionally instead of all the time.

    4) There's no guarantee with those "rent a wife" websites that you'll get what you're paying for. They usually end up leaving you after the requisite green card period anyway so your money would have been wasted. Don't do that.

    5) There's nothing wrong with not clicking with someone else. Sometimes we go a long time without finding anyone compatible. However, you won't meet anyone you [could] click with if all you do is sit at home on your computer with your dog.

    6) Killing yourself isn't really ever a good answer... unless you're Hitler or something. The fact that this was your first choice of items to list is telling. See point #1 for my recommendation here.

    • Wow. That is awesomely generous that you responded as you did. Thanks. Damn good advice. I have been doing the health/nutrition/gym thing and am very frustrated because, for the first time, it just wasn't working. Didn't lose a damn pound and was bustin my butt.

    • You're probably working out in the wrong energy zone. Be sure your trainer/coach is covering your anaerobic thresholds with you.

      If you're working out in the wrong arobic zone you won't be losing as much weight. Also, be sure you're varying your speed and if possible increase the resistance or incline on the machine you're using, following guidance from your trainer/coach.

      Workign out too hard builds more muscle but burns sugar instead of fat. Keep that in mind.

  • First of all Don't Kill Yourself! Seriously, if your harboring those kind of thoughts you should be getting some therapy if you can afford it as apposed to being on here.

    as far as balding... just shave your head, think Jason Statham.

    as far as fat... fill your fridge up with fresh white meats and leafy greens then hit the gym.

    as far as debt... pick up some books on debt and read read read. Then address the smallest liability first.

    as far as middle aged... We all get old eventually. live with it.

    Don't give up bud, get yourself together and get out there, you'll find someone.

  • Dude, you need to be happy with yourself aight? If it's that big of a deal that you're overweight, go on a diet and start working out. Baldness is hardly a life-ending, bad thing. Some ladies view baldness as sexy ;P.Once you're good with yourself (a state of mind, not necessarily physical appearance), go on Eharmony or something man. There's still that special someone out there waiting for you. The dept thing sucks, but you'll get over it. Really what is, logically, the worst thing that could happen? Declare bankruptcy, and start over. Yeah it would suck sweaty ass, but still not as bad as death. You still have probably double your life ahead of you, if not more. Don't stress it. Good luck man.

  • If I were you I would choose D. Nothing wrong with a mail order bride, she may not speak English but who the hell cares wouldn't you rather her bitch at you in Thai than in English? All you have to do is shrug your shoulders or nod and then drink a beer and eventually she'll shut up. But then again there's one problem your heavily in debt so how you going to pay for her?

  • Other people said this, but I want to restate that God can give even the most pitiful people comfort. Even if your current life is in bad shape, by belief in an afterlife you can make yourself feel safe and protected. If you can't rise to the challenges of life, retreating to God is always an option.

  • Hit the gym, realise that in biological terms a balding male is a sign of "hey look I survived this long, ain't I virile?" or something, middle-aged isn't bad, most women don't like baby-faces and hey, we're all lonely sometimes.

    I agree though with the working out sentiment.

    It doesn't have to be anything drastic if you don't want it, but find a routine where you can sweat a little and start losing weight.

    Once you got the weight down and feel and look fitter you'll be much happier and the rest can be dealt with because those are universal and hard to change (except the debt).

    Never think weight is something you can't lose, you weren't born fat, and its doubtful your weight is genetic (the massive rise in obesity is far too rapid to be explained away as hereditary...).

    Stick in there mate, just remember how many people are in your position to, and think of how you'll feel knowing your one of the few that proactively made a decision to change.

  • LMFAO!

    ignore me, but id probably kill myself.

  • Comments:

    Option a: I remember riding on a bus one day and the bus was caught in a traffic jam. It turned out there was a funeral convoy went by. I remember the bus driver said, "If this guy created so much trouble for everybody when he is dead, imagine when he was alive!"

    Option b: Dogs and computers are by far the best friends a fella can ever hope for. They don't stab you in the back, they don't steal your girlfriend, they don't drink your beer, to name a few of the advantages.

  • 1. Shave your head.

    2. Hit the gym

    3. Hardest one of all. Start being Social!

  • wow , I suggest you get off of here and turn your life around.

  • AWWW...Suck it up princeess...Life could get a lot worse...

  • B. Hang in their soldier. Life is short...and what you make of it...

    • Do you have an opinion on how essential companionship is to being fulfilled/happy?

    • Not really...studies show that men do live longer when they are married or with somebody significant

  • One more thing most people who reply to this are just giving you BS. They are telling you what the socially acceptable thing to say to someone in this situation is, which, unfortunately is not always the right thing to say.

    I'm guessing you want some real answers, so I'll give it to straight with not sugar coating or crap just to make you feel better [for 2 minutes] and male sure you won't hurt anyone else.

    Here it is:

    1) Try all this stuff, something might work.

    2) See if you can come up with a few other ideas, try them

    3) Set a time limit for yourself, the truth is everyone dies, so there is no reason to kill yourself, you've got your whole life to work out different plans and give them a shot but if after a certain period of time you don't think you're having any luck, the truth is you might never. If you can't stand going through life with not possibility to improve your situation, end it. Why not? It's your life. It's your choice.

  • Well on the bright side, you're white; so whatever you choose to do no one will think you're strange for doing it, and you have the freedom to express yourself however you see fit without being punished socially.

    Except maybe rapping.

    All the more reason I think you should start. Become a Fat, balding, middle-aged lonely white-guy rapper and make songs about asian girls online- - if your work is good and you can get it out there you might just find an untapped market to exploit. You could make millions, and change at least some things!

  • B. You only live ONCE. Enjoy it.

  • G) stop spending so much f***in time on a computer, start to workout, loose the weight, get hair products... go out and get girls... don't be a little bitch please...

  • work out a lot, it releases happy juice into your system. (only half joking, it is basically happy juice)

  • wow too negative try to loosen up and enjoy the small things in life. such as the movie zombieland [the guys twinkies was the small enjoyment]

  • send me your email adress please on nicholaswambugu@ymail.com

  • a) does not solve any of those problems

    b) don't you already enjoy them? This is nice option!

    c) no one pays you for acting unless you are professional actor

    d) damn good idea! Works together with plan b)

    e) if there is any better plan f)

  • make changes in your life, like exercising; not to be muscly necessarily, but just to be average weight; you'll look better and feel better (endorphins, etc.).

  • B,C, and D are a must. Others may include the mafia, Government, or Ponzi schemes.

  • You've just declared yourself an online perv. "Dog and computer". This tells us you probably use the net to forget your problems and perhaps pretend your something or someone else. Without any worries of your reality struggle.

    If I'm wrong, and I hope so, then you should stop being depressed and do something about it.

    • Sooo, when you look at porn, it's cool and trendy; when I look at porn, it's pervy? Explain. BTW, "Anonymous", exactly what are your credentials for identifying pervs? You seem to know alot?

    • Show All
    • "Easy of a target"? I'm not the one making depressing questions. If you want a sugar coated response, seek elsewhere. But if you hadn't notice, aggravating or just being plain blunt seems to work for some people. And judging by your responses, I'd say your one of those people.

    • Your judgements, which you apparently make into reality, are extremely sick and hateful. They are an indication of someone who is fearful and has a lot to hide.