b) suck it up and learn to enjoy my two best friends; my dog and my computer.
c) pretend to have feelings for others (when I don't).
d) go to that website for Thai girls and order me an Asian hottie?
e) none of the above
Thanks to all of you who were generous enough to respond. You all made good points. Being alone and isolated can be a bitch but it's not insurmountable. I hope you all go on to find happiness and endless fulfillment in the relationships you choose.
well, what you could do is get on your computer, download some upbeat music, upload it to an MP3 player, and take your dog for a nice walk at least three days out of the week for half an hour. That'll help you lose weight, if that's bothering you.
balding has two options: just shave it all off and pull off that bald look (which can be very sexy) or you can buy some rogaine and grow some of it back.
idk if you're working or not, but maybe you can get a weekend job or sell some unwanted stuff around your house on Amazon, eBay or half.com. you'll earn some extra cash that way (by the way, we're all heavily in debt my friend, so you don't stand alone lol).
last but not least, feel a little better about yourself. go get a hobby of some sort. try to write or read. go volunteer at an elderly home or a shelter. get to know some people who are volunteering and people who need help. go to church on sundays or at least try and find a place where you can seek solace (I like sitting at the pier or going to the library). don't be so hard on yourself.
You should do f) other...get outta the house and try to break out of your shell! You can't meet anybody if your stuck at home all the time on the computer! Go out, make friends, let them set you up with people. OR go on a dating site and see if you can find someone that way.
i have an issue when white guys look down on Asian girls like this. Even though I'm half Asian, I think it's just horrible how some guys go back to countries like Thailand and do whatever they want to do because the government is so irresponsible there and encourages prostitution. those are some big issues-immoral and looks bad on both parties/ groups of people
and as for your choices, I'm sure there are better ways to spend your time.
1) go on a HEALTHY low carb diet = meat and tons of veggies
2) get rogaine or shave your entire head - this actually looks pretty good on balding guys (or at least buzz it SUPER short so it's less obvious)
3) get more hobbies that make you happy like weightlifting (endorphins) or outdoors things (fresh air and nature) or taking a class (intellectual stimulation) and do them with groups, join more groups that can help you meet women you actually have stuff in common with.
4) most people have at least some debt - see a free/cheap consumer credit counselor so you're at least DOING something about it, which will make you feel better.
i think you should go out to the bar or something an socialize. there has to be something to do where you are. why don't you drive into the city and just find a place to go? or join a forum online and talk to people (kinda like here)
in my opinion you should figure out some way of building your confidence. Whether it's to sort out your financial situation or join a gym and get fit. Once you have that down things should start falling into place. Don't let age or anything else be a factor preventing you from having the life you want.
I know its easier said then done but you have to start somewhere.
If being bald bothers you get that new hair transplant thing. If it doesn't then who cares. If being fat bothers you, lose some weight. Eat better and go running. If not then deal with it. Middle age and white happen, I don't see the problem there. If you're lonely then fix it. Find someone to keep you company, don't string them along though and make them think you care, let them know you enjoy their company but aren't looking for more. Of course some of these things are gonna cost money so you should probably get that in order too. Fix your debt. Fix your credit.
Or sit there and pout and do nothing. It's your life, nobody is gonna fix it for you. If you wanna better yourself than do it.
Just think you're in the typical American movie and get yourself a makeover, it's really not that hard, just diificult to really get up and do it:
Start working out. The endorphins will make you happier, so you won't feel that depressed anyway. You will start to look better. Because you will start to look better you will start to take better care of yourself and pay more attention to your reflection if you look in the mirror.
OK, so what you've accomplished now is that you look better--that means you will get more female attention. Maybe you'll meet someone.
Not guaranteed off course, but you definitly will get more attention (which will make you AGAIN, happier). You will start to feel better about yourself.
You will have more courage to do sit down and think of a solution for your financial issues.
And so on.
Seriously: all you need to do is get up and start to work out.
I know it sucks in the beginning, especially when you're fat, but reallyreally try to think about how many carbs you burn with every move you make. And how happy you're making your body! (I know I sound dumb but just... you know: try to believe in it!)
You will start to feel the difference and be happier in a week or so, just go for it, really.
I was pretty fat too but most of the time I just thought: f*** it, I like pizza and brownies too much. But then, one day, my sister dragged me to the gym and I discovered working out actually CAN help. It's pretty amazing.
I feel much better now, seriously.
Just get out of bed one day and think: I'm going to take controll (actually doing something is not as bad as it seems) and make my mom proud!
Just try to surprise the world. Nothing can beat that glorious feeling.
...I really had a bad day and you made me smile, honestly : )...Be more confident about yourself thank god there aren't only shallow people in the world...accept yourself and you ll see other people will accept you too...Its that difficult!
You know what? Don't do any of those. Get involved in some charity work. It will raise your self esteem and you will feel fantastic about it. It's awesome. I love it... promise me you'll at least try it?
Fat, balding, middle aged...even in tons of debt, you'd be amazed how much of this is a none issue for you not having a woman. Both sexes appreciate the other sex keeping in somewhat of a decent shape, both NONE of the things that you listed are reasons for not having a woman. Even with out your woes, you lack confidence, which is the sexist thing on a man.
1. You don't like being "fat"? Join an exercise group and get out the house. Buy P90X and get off the couch. Do something about it. If I'm doing it, you could be doing it too. Work out before you go to work. You might find that exercise will improve your mood A LOT!
2. Balding? Hey, a lot of chicks dig that and a lot don't. Find someone who is going to love you for you. If you're holding on to the sides...shave it off. It will look better. You may not have money for Bosley but I've heard that rubbing virgin coconut oil on your head will stimulate growth...I'm not sure how it works but its worth a try. I use it for nice, soft silky hair. Have heard of someone growing their hair back using it. A little goes a long way.
3. Middle aged? Oh please! Do you know how many women are out there waiting for you? I know of a 41 year old man who could have me now if our situation was practical.
4. If money can't make you happy, why does it make you this sad? I understand you because I have to pay back student loans and I'm working down 2 credit cards that helped me get into school AND I'm still in school. Looking back, we live we learn.
5. This is life and you only have one. Be confident, content, and assured with yourself because there is plenty of women who share 1 or more issues that you have. You may have a extra pounds ( you CAN lose weight!), balding, middle aged, broke and lonely guy but I assure you that no woman wants a man who is down from these things and lacks confidence. Confidence and the acceptance of one's self is incredibly sexy.
go for what YOU WANT in life; if you don't like losing hair, seek treatment, I know there's a few out there. want to be fit? take your dog for more walks, and get some weights. lonely but don't want to have to be close and care about people? Maybe take group lessons in something you want to do, or have some interest in-take up some new hobbies. Killing yourself is never the answer, since you seem to have had those thoughts, maybe you should start talking with a therapist. the suicide of one person affects at least 5 other people deeply.
You have everything you need to re-invent yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get off your ass and DO something that will change things. Shave your head, get on a diet, go to the gym and in 5 years your whole life will be different.
I'm a fat balding late-twenty-something white-guy that's slightly in debt.
I see a few things should be done here:
1) Seek some therapy. It's extremely helpful to be able to talk to someone, even if you have to pay to do it.
2) Work out. This won't help you (or me) with balding, but the confidence boost is tremendous. It's been helping me. Just understand the changes take time. You should be able to shed 1-2 pounds a week healthily. Get a trainer or join a workout group if the accountability and routine help you to keep going.
3) Change your eating habits. Exercise alone won't help you lose weight and gain confidence. Eating unhealthy foods impacts your emotional state as well. Switch to proper portion sizes or healthy foods. That's not to say you can't have ice cream or cake... but remember to eat them in moderation and only occasionally instead of all the time.
4) There's no guarantee with those "rent a wife" websites that you'll get what you're paying for. They usually end up leaving you after the requisite green card period anyway so your money would have been wasted. Don't do that.
5) There's nothing wrong with not clicking with someone else. Sometimes we go a long time without finding anyone compatible. However, you won't meet anyone you [could] click with if all you do is sit at home on your computer with your dog.
6) Killing yourself isn't really ever a good answer... unless you're Hitler or something. The fact that this was your first choice of items to list is telling. See point #1 for my recommendation here.
Dude, you need to be happy with yourself aight? If it's that big of a deal that you're overweight, go on a diet and start working out. Baldness is hardly a life-ending, bad thing. Some ladies view baldness as sexy ;P.Once you're good with yourself (a state of mind, not necessarily physical appearance), go on Eharmony or something man. There's still that special someone out there waiting for you. The dept thing sucks, but you'll get over it. Really what is, logically, the worst thing that could happen? Declare bankruptcy, and start over. Yeah it would suck sweaty ass, but still not as bad as death. You still have probably double your life ahead of you, if not more. Don't stress it. Good luck man.
If I were you I would choose D. Nothing wrong with a mail order bride, she may not speak English but who the hell cares wouldn't you rather her bitch at you in Thai than in English? All you have to do is shrug your shoulders or nod and then drink a beer and eventually she'll shut up. But then again there's one problem your heavily in debt so how you going to pay for her?
Other people said this, but I want to restate that God can give even the most pitiful people comfort. Even if your current life is in bad shape, by belief in an afterlife you can make yourself feel safe and protected. If you can't rise to the challenges of life, retreating to God is always an option.
Hit the gym, realise that in biological terms a balding male is a sign of "hey look I survived this long, ain't I virile?" or something, middle-aged isn't bad, most women don't like baby-faces and hey, we're all lonely sometimes.
I agree though with the working out sentiment.
It doesn't have to be anything drastic if you don't want it, but find a routine where you can sweat a little and start losing weight.
Once you got the weight down and feel and look fitter you'll be much happier and the rest can be dealt with because those are universal and hard to change (except the debt).
Never think weight is something you can't lose, you weren't born fat, and its doubtful your weight is genetic (the massive rise in obesity is far too rapid to be explained away as hereditary...).
Stick in there mate, just remember how many people are in your position to, and think of how you'll feel knowing your one of the few that proactively made a decision to change.
Option a: I remember riding on a bus one day and the bus was caught in a traffic jam. It turned out there was a funeral convoy went by. I remember the bus driver said, "If this guy created so much trouble for everybody when he is dead, imagine when he was alive!"
Option b: Dogs and computers are by far the best friends a fella can ever hope for. They don't stab you in the back, they don't steal your girlfriend, they don't drink your beer, to name a few of the advantages.
One more thing most people who reply to this are just giving you BS. They are telling you what the socially acceptable thing to say to someone in this situation is, which, unfortunately is not always the right thing to say.
I'm guessing you want some real answers, so I'll give it to straight with not sugar coating or crap just to make you feel better [for 2 minutes] and male sure you won't hurt anyone else.
Here it is:
1) Try all this stuff, something might work.
2) See if you can come up with a few other ideas, try them
3) Set a time limit for yourself, the truth is everyone dies, so there is no reason to kill yourself, you've got your whole life to work out different plans and give them a shot but if after a certain period of time you don't think you're having any luck, the truth is you might never. If you can't stand going through life with not possibility to improve your situation, end it. Why not? It's your life. It's your choice.
Well on the bright side, you're white; so whatever you choose to do no one will think you're strange for doing it, and you have the freedom to express yourself however you see fit without being punished socially.
Except maybe rapping.
All the more reason I think you should start. Become a Fat, balding, middle-aged lonely white-guy rapper and make songs about asian girls online- - if your work is good and you can get it out there you might just find an untapped market to exploit. You could make millions, and change at least some things!
You've just declared yourself an online perv. "Dog and computer". This tells us you probably use the net to forget your problems and perhaps pretend your something or someone else. Without any worries of your reality struggle.
If I'm wrong, and I hope so, then you should stop being depressed and do something about it.