If he likes me I don't see why he wouldn't wanna be with me?
so we were talking for a couple months then he said he wanted to be friends cause he doesn't like relationships, but then we kept hooking up and he would take me out and he acted like he likes me so I figured we were somewhat talking again. 4 days ago I asked him what we were and he said he doesn't know what to say right now and he'd talk to me about it tomorrow. the next day I asked him what the deal was and he ignored it and asked me to dinner and a movie for valentines day. last night I decided to end things because if he couldn't give me an answer then why am I wasting my time waiting around. he said he doesn't want a relationship and he liked me just as a friend though, then he said he likes hanging out with me and thinks I'm attractive. my immediate thought was he's using me because he knows he can get stuff from me since he knows I like him. today he said he hates relationships because he's not a complicated guy and he enjoys hanging out with me and the last thing he wants is for me to think he's using me so he just wants to be friends..but then he said he's a guy obv he likes me if he's still hanging out and talking to me. I really do like him but is there something sketchy about this situation I'm not getting? I never asked him for a relationship I don't want one either but does that really make sense that he's not a complicated guy and that's why he doesn't want a relationship? do you think there is anything I can do to change his mind? if he likes me I don't see why he wouldn't wanna be with me?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
He's being a little girl (no offense) about it..
You know the thing some girls go through? When you start dating, both people are into each other, but someone isn't "ready" yet?
Well, this is his guy version of that.
Sure, he likes some aspects of you, but not enough to want you completely. What his actions & words are basically saying is..
"You're fun to hand around with, and not ugly or, pretty enough for sex to be enjoyable with, and maybe we also have great fun sex too, who knows? But I don't see anything more there. That's not to say that there isn't anything more there. It's just to say that "I" don't see it. Or if I do see it, I just don't value it enough to want it; hence why I wouldn't be motivated enough to be in a relationship with you"
It's actually good you found out this way.. if you want to look on the bright side of things..
Think about the alternative..
You guys aren't having sex, or being more emotionally intimate with each other. This goes on for 3-6 months, until you feel you're ready. You both start having sex, and emotionally/romantically intimate. You think, oh yes! Patience has paid off, I'm finally in the great relationship I've always wanted to be in. I didn't do anything too soon, and didn't ruin something good before it had the chance to start.
Months later, after your feelings for him have REALLY developed & grown, his true emotions (or lack thereof) for you become evident. He doesn't feel naturally motivated enough to stay with you anymore, so you guys end up breaking up, (and just imagine the heartbreak & pain then! unless you're a fan of drama & negative attention; then this might be something you're already chasing after)
Not only is there heartbreak. You've just WASTED half a year or more of your life!
At least now, you've had some fun, you've enjoyed some good times together, you've experienced the depth of his emotions, and feelings of affections towards an other person romantically; and you only parted with less than a month of your time on this earth to realize that there was nothing there!
That means, more time for you to find someone who actually either DOES see the value that you have to offer, so that he wants you completely (not just in parts), so that he can naturally want to start, be in, and stay in a relationship with you. Or, someone who sees the value in you, and appreciates it.
Don't let guys like that hurt you.
He's young, he's immature, he has a world of options & potential ahead of him; he just has no idea what he wants in his life right now. Guys like this are bored & confused. A relationship with him would suck anyway, since all he would care about would be himself. Anything that's important to you, what you need & want, would be completely ignored. And if you would try and fight back and ignore what's important to him, he would just leave and find someone else.
It's not a relationship that has any long-term potential; simply because he sounds selfish & can't care for others yet
What Guys Said 3
two reasons why the guy is not making a decision .
First : maybe your man is too shy and unable to tell a girl about his feeling
and he wants you to start things instead of him to...
secondly : your man might be to pround to tell a girl like you he loves you and blablabla
so he would prefer to let you fall in love with him so that he can tell people your dragged
him and not him fell for you .
so be careful
He's got his own issues and reasons and no, as usual, you cannot make him change his mind nor can you influence him. Interestingly enough you don't want a relationship but you wonder why he doesn't want one? You're pretty backwards.
Stay friends, keep him at arms lengths, and hope he sorts his own youthful silliness out.
What Girls Said 12
Guys must chase girls... Bottom Line! Don't call/text him, make him call or text you... Don't be so available when he wants to hang out... Don't say you are seeing other guys just simply make it clear you have plans, don't give details. If you are sleeping with him, don't let him sleep over or you don't stay at his house, just leave. And if he asks why you are acting shady just simply say you don't want a relationship... He should not be allowed to make you feel you are in a relationship without giving you the title
why can you open your legs up and not be in a relationship? lol see what I'm getting at? in that case don't have sex with him whatver you do. he's never going to be with you officialy if you do that.
i know from experience did that with a guy for 9 months but he didn't want to be in a relationship so he was basically f***ing me with no strings attached and I got tired of it and moved on to someone that actually wants a relationship. so you better tell him you're not going to be with him unofficially anymore
good luck! :) but I think you should get away asap he's no good as much as it hurts you gotta do it
If you do not want a relationship, then why would it be waiting around?
Wow, that makes me feel ill lol Not you, just that I have heard those exact same lines &i just never thought I would be a victim of LINES lol
I actually had a guy say those things tome, except I did not ask, & I did not feel like I was waiting, cause I just never expect people to come thru... Not like I am bitter, I just like to depend on myself.. But I am not saying that is the way to be, just me.
Anyways, I heard that crap, & it p*ssed me off because I was not ASKING for anything, not was I OFFERING.
Guys just assume yo are going to give them your kidney or something & all they have to do is say I like you as a person.
Well everyone has a limit. Mine was that he was lying ABOUT ME. How can someone else tell you about you.. He got away with it more then he should have cause I did not want to stoop to his level - I should have stooped & told him that he was not crazy or a liar , & tho he wanted me to think so, I did not even think he was an a- hole- Just was a COWARD.
Yeah, he's just stringing you along. He can continue to hang out with you and hook up with you while not making any commitments and he wants to the get the milk for free without buying the cow. He is just immature and what immature little boys want to do? play with their toys and do whatever they want until they grow up. Move on before this guy can take more advantage of you. You can be friends with him, but don't think that it'll ever be more.
He doesn't want to be with you in a relationship because that would come with responsibilities. For instance, he wouldn't be free to see another girl. Or, you would expect him to do things and treat you a certain way, like all girlfriends expect.
Overall he is being deceptive and sketchy. If the two of you are having sex, well he's trying to find a way to keep you on the hook without going down the road of a relationship. Just the fact that he is not listening to you and not taking your comments seriously is a big problem. Trust me, a guy who doesn't take your concerns seriously now won't get any better later.
I think he doesn't want a relationship , maybe just because of his past experiences. Maybe he's afraid , weird to say since he's a guy but guys have feelings too . Maybe he's afraid of being hurt and heartbroken , even if you didn't ask for a relationship . But he does have feelings for you , and he doesn't want to hurt you since you like him . . Maybe he just wants to slowly walk away , without any commitments and without a heartbreak .
"but then he said he's a guy obv he likes me if he's still hanging out and talking to me" - why does it seem like he's doing you a favor...but on his convenience...stick with your intuition. By the way, there are no lines to read in between because he told you from the beginning, from your own words, he just wants to be friends. When a guy says that...take that to the bank and MOVE ON.