I'm not trying to be sexist but it seems like every guy I've dated or every guy who'll confess will tell me they've been in a relationship or are in a relationship but have like a Plan B girl lined up if things don't work out with the girl they're in a relationship with. Like it's not quite like they're cheating on their girlfriend, because it's only talking but it's still kind of emotionally cheating. Do all guys really do this?
- No, I've never had a side chick but I've considered it/would consider itVote A
- Yes, it's normal to keep open optionsVote B
- No, I'm always faithful and always will be entirelyVote C
- (See Results)Vote D
- Yes, I've done it but I wouldn't do it againVote E
Most Helpful Guy
GENERALLY, the 80/20 rule is in effect here.
The top 20% of guys - the kind most women would find very attractive - almost always talk to other girls, and have "backups" - or just outright have girls on the side. Why? Because THEY CAN. They have so much more opportunity that most will take advantage of it. And it's just as you'd imagine; a guy near the bottom of that 20% may just flirt with other girls and get their number, but not actively engage them, while the guys near the top of the 20% have a girlfriend plus 3 girls they fuck on the side - and are open to hot girls who randomly come along too. Among that top 1% will be your celebrities (actors, rock stars, pro athletes, etc.), models, ultra wealthy, and guys who aren't but could be mistaken for any of those. Such guys will almost ALWAYS cheat - and their girlfriends/wives only stay girlfriends/wives if they can accept that.
Then there's the 80% of guys. Guys, even at the top of the 80%, have trouble getting female attention at all, and needless to say, the further down the scale you go, the harder it is for women to even notice their existence. These guys do NOT have girls on the side.
Of course, almost all girls only want guys in the top 20%, and mostly don't even consider those who aren't, so, yes, it seems like most guys cheat or come close to it, because that's how it is for that top 20%.7
Most Helpful Girl
Oooookay! Not every guy, no. Let's start with questions.
Did you ask to be exclusive? Did you make it known you didn't want him sleeping around? Were you 'seriously' dating?
If you said no to those, then he can and a lot of men will.
Why put all of your eggs in one basket right away? How many relationships are most people in before finding "the right one"?
Don't leave blurry lines in this case. If you want him not to see other people (or talk to other women in a sexual way), speak up and make it known.
Worst thing he can say is no. Even if that "no" is in a different variation of "I don't feel the same" or "I want to keep my options open".
If he wants to keep his options open, then he and I aren't on the same page at that point in time. *Personally* I see it as wasting time and usually label him a friend.
You'll just be moving on and keep looking. If it is meant to be, it will be.