When men act flaky then tell you you're just being needy/paranoid?

OK girls tell me I am not alone.

Have you ever had a guy (be you dating/had dated or in a relationship with, and sometimes even friends maybe)

They act all keen to get you at first, give you loads of attention, then once they get some from you/or get what they can get/ or realize they may have to wait or not get any at all- they suddenly go all "busy" on you. As in suddenly they have no time for you or if they do they have to fit it in a very busy schedule that didn't seem to exist before. OK sometimes people are busy and situations do happen to work out in ways that make people look bad- but when you start seeing it happen over and over I think it is time to take a hint- OR you can confront the guy about it but the normal response will be- "You're just being paranoid- " or "you're just acting needy"

Is it just me who has experienced this? Men are you guilty of such accusations when you feel you may have been a bit flaky? or wanting to hang out on your terms only?


Most Helpful Girl

  • A man who does not value you and is not keen on spending time with you honestly does feel you are needy and paranoid when you want more from him. And, yes, I have experienced this though I have not badgered them to spend more time with me. I will try a few attempts to make sure they know I would like to see them, but after that I simply observe what their rhythm is and if it doesn't work for me, I stop seeing them.

    It is interesting that some people, men included, are uncomfortable saying "I don't want to see you anymore.", so instead they do things like this to drive the other person away. They hope the other person will be the one to pull the plug. Unfortunately, they will continue to act like they weren't trying to do this, you were the one to end things, so any satisfaction you could get from yelling at them and telling them they are a jerk is never seen.

    Other men are perfectly happy leaving a girl on the hook and keeping her as a backup plan while they live their lives, consider dating other girls and otherwise are too busy to talk to you very frequently. Those are the men that are particularly confusing.