the ones that are always in control of the situation and tell me what to do...nothing controlling or mean. some of my girlfriends say I should leave those guys alone. but I don't know why I can't resist "that guy" any insight is appreciated...
Most Helpful Guy
I think you're the norm, not the exception. Most women, even if they won't admit it, like that sort of guy. Sometimes to a fault. We've all heard (especially on this site) about guys who try to win the affection of some lovely lady only to have her push him aside for some "bad boy" type guy.
Women will, no doubt, understand and sympathize with the lovely lady, being able to identify with her character but the "nice guy" vs. "bad boy" issue is one that causes many men a lot of emotional pain. I'm no exception and I used to be the guy that was just too nice. And like many other guys I went through a period of bitterness and hatred of women because of it. Not every guy is naturally dominant and confident and it's harder to change that than you might think.
Personally, it's recently occurred to me that the reason that men have such a hard time wrapping our head around this concept is that the same behavior that turns women on turns me off. While women see a bold sexy guy, I see an arrogant guy that thinks he's better than me. The dominant, in control, telling you what to do attitude creates attraction in a woman's mind, in mine it breeds resentment.
Naturally, you see why I (and many other guys) become the "nice guy". They shower you with attention and compliments because they would like to be treated that way and not pushed around. Guys know the other side of "that guy". The arrogant, childish, stupid guy. Apparently your gfs do too, hence their warnings.
Now I'm not trying to lambaste you over who you're attracted to. We're attracted to who we're attracted to and we can't just change it. I don't blame you for being attracted to them. Guys are attracted to feminine women and girls love masculine men. They're interesting, they keep you on your toes, they make you feel safe. It's all too common. What your girlfriends are saying is that your attraction may attract you to some unsavory people.