Are some people just destined to be alone?

I've never done anything with a girl, I have no confidence, and I'm not attractive. Are some people just destined to be alone and stuck in a sh*tty position?

I didn't mean for this to be all whiny and sad either. I'm actual wondering what people have to say.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, with an attitude like that, you are setting yourself up to be alone. You have to look for your good qualities then accept, own and appreciate them! No one ever got a girl by telling her how much he didn't like himself. Girls like confidence. Some people do end up alone forever but it's because they chose to be. It's all about attitude! You're a great guy and when you realize it, girls will start to as well! Good luck :)

    • Yeah I don't know how to realize it. I've been like this for the past 8 years.

What Girls Said 5

  • i think there is someone out there for everyone.

    That being said however, I don't think those destined people always find each other in this life time.

  • No people aren't desitned to be alone but if you continue to have this poor esteem and woe is me type of "impression" you probably will be.

    Its such a turn off to women.

    • Yeah probably. Oh well.

  • No, for every able and willing person in the world there are at least a couple of people compatible with them. The only people who don't find someone eventually are either handicapped, nuns, or don't want to find anybody. Everyone has a phase where they feel like there is no one for them but then that changes them, and then they become a better version of themselves that is actually ready for someone. Let the right person come to you, don't desperatly look for someone because people can smell desperation and don't like it.

  • Seems to me people are saying to you low self esteem. In my opinion. NO.

    Love is a feeling and we are human. People sometimes come and go but you what was there was love. If no-one has ever found there love yet that is because, either they,

    1. Are unattractive and have low self esteem about themselves

    2. Have an sort of STI's

    3. Up themselves and are take drugs and think they are cool.

    4. And sadly given up.

    Love is out there and if you want it and it hasn't come your way look for it. That's why they invented love dating sites:)


What Guys Said 9

  • If you choose to be the person you are now, than yes probably. Listen, physical appearance isn't everything, I've known some relatively chubby guys that were not all that attractive that have far outdated me (not that I'm any prize, but in comparison I know I look better than them in the classic sense.)

    How did they manage it? Well I'd have to go say sheer force of personality. The guys I'm thinking of were all funny, willing to take part in everything, out going and nice. One in particular I know (let's call him Dan), looks like a total goof. A bit overweight, acne scars and bad hair. He's always the first one to jump in with an idea if we get bored, as well as just a really nice guy. In the past year he's probably gotten laid 5x more than me (granted I've had some issues with an ex, so that has something to do with it). The point is, it's not all looks.

    That said, looks are still important. Getting in shape and at least doing your best to look presentable are important. Protip:Women are much more likely to judge you on your clothes than on your face. I'm not joking. If you're wearing something that shows you just don't care about how you look (say a really baggy tshirt and baggy jeans), you're much more likely to get blown off than if you just look "average".

    However ultimately it really does come down to you. You're not "destined" to be alone unless you choose to be. If you don't want to get in shape, or you're willing to make the effort to look good, than you clearly don't take pride in yourself.

    If however you are willing to make the effort, confidence will come naturally as you start to look better. From someone who was once in a remarkably similar situation, your outside image really does affect your personality.

  • Sometimes, life just happens to never hand you lemons.

  • No one is meant 2 be alone...

  • I am 41 and no woman has ever said yes to me!

  • If you worked out and became attractive, you'd gain confidence and probably end up doing something with a girl (or many girls). Unless you're really just genetically ugly with 20 warts, a crooked nose and purple hair you should be able to get good looking if you work for it.

    • He's too f***ing lazy to do anything about his body.

    • ^That basically, the root cause is that I don't think it will improve my confidence and I don't like feeling sh*tty from exercise.

    • Exercise does feel sh*tty at first if you aren't used to it, but before long it isn't bad, and then after a bit later it actually starts to feel good (crazy, huh). Anyway, you make your own destiny man. Start with small self improvements and then build on that.

  • I would have to say yes

  • Answer is No.

  • What I learned is that if you want people to think you are awesome, YOU have to think that YOU are awesome and you should start acting awesome, it has nothing to do with looks believe me ! your first step is to accept yourself, I have been in your position myself man =) , start by being positive and working on the points which you are good at , Good luck and soon enough you will be getting some ;) take care buddy !

  • If you are ugly you have one option -- be confident and/or successful .

    If you can't be either than get used to masturbating