He wants to have sex but I'm not ready. What will I do?

Hey, ok so iv been seeing this guy for a while now,and he keeps bringin up sex, saying how much he wants me etc. I'm actually a virgin,but he doset know this yet. We get on really well and always have a laugh, but I'm afraid if I tell him ''it's'' not going to happen for a while he will get bored and find someoe else.

please help, Thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him , its true sexual chemistry is important in a long term or lasting relationship but there are avenues to discover far before that area needs to be explored. Another part of a lasting relationship is honesty be honest with him , tell him the truth less you live and have your love become and be based off of a lie. Also if he gets bored with you and leaves him is not the one for you, relationship, love all of that is about understanding compromise, setting a pace that is good for both people. Also think to yourself do you know him , really know him like all about him, I am not against sex before marriage I think its needed but you are still a virgin a gift and a thing many men actually like, its an honor at least I think and a well trusted right for one to take something so sacred. IF he doesn’t feel this way I don’t think he is worthy the choice who you give yourself to be always your own make sure it’s for the right reasons, to keep someone around before your ready def is not one.


What Guys Said 9

  • If this man can't respect your wishes on this matter, then you shouldn't stay with him. Tell him you aren't going to have sex for a while, and if he runs, then good, you've weeded out the bad.

  • Well ya that would be the logical thing to do. It seems the two of you are not compatible sexually. He wants it, you don't. Why not let him move on and look for someone who feels the same way you do? Why try to hold him if you are not ready for a full relationship?

  • What's the problem if he does leave?

    Seriously . you'll know exactly why he is with you . and presumably you'd like that to be for other reasons.

    Live a life of honesty. If he is important to you, stop hiding and be yourself and tell him a) you are a virgin, and why and b) tell him that there is no sex yet.

    Simple huh . then you'll nt regret something that you can NEVER go back on.

    The Infotainer

  • well don't give up your virginity if your not ready but there are other ways to give him a good time. try oral or hand jobs but just make sure your ready to have sex if you choice too.

  • ok basically best way to keep him around if he's that worried about sex tell him ur a virgin and ur not ready to go all the way yet that doesn't mean you can't do oral or handjob at least because I mean no sexual activity at all will most likely make some sexual tension for him if him and by only doing oral or watever it shows if he really cares like if he sticks around without trying to preasure you to have sex all the time you got a keeper =]

  • if he'll get bored that easy he's not worth it .

  • dont have sex until You think You are ready

    cause if ur not you will regret it and never get past it

    always think extremely hard about it b4 you do have sex

    and when you do have sex make sure ur safe and think of ALL the necessary precautions!

  • Well no one should force you to do something you don't want to do. Dump him and find someone who cares about you and who doesn't care on what you give.


What Girls Said 3

  • Well, you don't necessarily need to tell him. The guy I was with never knew that he was my first.

    I'm sure people will tell you he'll wait if he's the right one, but I don't completely agree. Sex is really an important part of a relationship, and you might want to have some kind of sex with him until you're ready for the whole package.

    I'm NOT saying you shouldn't do something you're not ready for, but maybe it's time for you to stretch your boundaries? You can keep most guys pretty happy without actual intercourse, so maybe this is an option. If you tell him that sex is really a big deal for you, and you do other things to keep him happy, he'll probably wait if he likes you.

    Some guys secretly prefer blowjobs anyway. (Less work & can feel better for them, and can be really fun for you if you have the right attitude. I used to pretend I really wanted, more than anything, to give the best blowjob ever. It was like I was an actress, and eventually I really started to love giving them to a guy I like.)

    I would also urge you to start asking yourself why you aren't ready yet. You're getting to an age where you should be emotionally mature and ready for it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't wait for the right time with the right person, but maybe you're just letting yourself be scared away or holding on to some notion of childhood. There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right situation, just don't let it pass you by because you're too scared to take the plunge. But do make sure it's with someone you trust and who makes you feel truly special.

    If you're waiting for marriage, you need to talk to him about this, and be prepared that he may not be willing to wait. In this case, if he won't then you probably want someone else.

  • Honey, I won't have sex until I'm married. My past boyfriends did not understand that. They wanted more to the point to one even tried to take advantage of me. Talk about emotional turmoil. Finally, I fell in love with my best friend who was not a virgin and has had pretty physical relationships in the past, but he loved me and respected me for who I am and would not pressure me or force me to do anything I didn't feel comfortable doing. It's not that I don't want to ya know? It's just. I just simply cannot do it because of the vow I made to myself.

    If he doesn't respect your decisions then he doesn't deserve to be with you. But, you need to tell him flat out that you're a virgin. It's NOTHING to be ashamed of. In fact, you should be proud of yourself for not being someone that just throws it out there to whomever wants it. He should be proud of you for that too, I know my boyfriend is. It hasn't killed him at all and we've been together for a year and a half.

    Just tell him. If he doesn't respect you then it's a full proof way to know he's not the one for you.

    Good luck, honey!

  • omg please please please don't have sex with him. regretting sex, especially your first os HORRIBLE. don't do it unless you are way more than ready for it. also I wouldn't take that guys adivce about doing other things., they lead to sex pretty damn quickly.