How do I get my boyfriend to trust me?
I've suffered from depression and low self-confidence for as long as I can remember, and this summer I found someone unique, loving, and someone that has the ability to make me forget how much pain I am used to feeling on a daily basis. Within the past month or so we have been fighting, or more so, argueing over the smallest things. Mostly because he doesn't trust me. When we met I was living it up and going out every night with friends, basically living like a single girl with no responsibilities. Now we've been living together for a while, and I've resumed what I consider a 'normal life' involving work, nice dinners, and a life which most people consider normal.
I believe most of this has to do with the fact that he has trust issues, but he sends me text messages during the day saying that he doesn't believe I'm going to lunch alone, or that I must be with another guy. I don't know what to make of this. How do I get rid of this unnecessary insecurity? It is pulling us apart, and I have told him this in the past, but I don't know how much more energy and patience I have to keep trying to prove that I really do love him! Not to mention that I feel insecure enough on my own, his added insecurity seems almost unhealthy for me now.
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Most Helpful Opinion
i have this guy,he's a total sweetheart,he is almost as cool as me but the problem is he is insecure.
thats the only problem.he always say I'm a lier when I didnt.at first I plead no and explain my heart out just for him to understand that I did not lie,he always find something to prove I'm lying but I really didnt,like myspace,just about anything I had to cancel my myspace,but still he'd say it doesn't matter because you have other accounts anyway so it will never end.he gets way upset and screams and he gets me to scream back.uhh I know how you feel its just awful.
one time he was bitching about me lying again he said.this time I didn't scream or even show anger even if I was so annoyed.i just said "im not gonna explain myself over and over again,if you don't know how to listen to me then you ain't hearing anything from me anymore,think what you wanna think and make yourself mesireble but not me! I don't have to take your bullshit I didn't have a relationship with you just to be mesirable,you are not my father you are not anybody,you are just my boyfriend,you do not own me!" then I just ignore him the whole time,i didn't walk out I was there looking at him lestining and when I was wasnt asnwering back he just stopped.the more you argue the more they get mad.
so now its been a while since we fight.i learned lessons too.i learned what makes him insecure so I avoid all those stuff.and when he's happy I always tell him its not worth to fight over things that are pointless,we only have one goal is to have a successful happy relationship.and I talk to him as friend would,i listen when he's talking so he listens to me when I do.
we go out and hangout together as couples.its either around his friends or my friends.and do not talk bad stuff about him to your friends behind his back,keep evrything in the house between you and him.thats a respect,if you want him to trust you? earn it.if I able to do it you could to.always reassure him that you love him.call him at work just to say I love you babe can't wait for you to come home.it works! and I'm not saying I haven't been in myspace since then,no I'm still in and talk to my friends there but I make sure he won't find out so I delete history because even if I don't do nothing but just chatting he would think I have guys there and we don't want that.be true to him and some stuff would bother him so he doesn't need to know.no cheating at all.
patience is the key,the guy that trully loves you cannot resist your patience.they would just love you more.
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What Girls Said 2
Well my guy. he is the one who broke my trust. But if you never broke his trust, he is just jeallous because he is insecure. Maybe he had cheaters in the past and can't forget it. People just put their past on present like shadows and it is hard not to do that. Also is about your past, he is maybe thinking too much about it. You can spend more time with him, take care of him a lot, and call often so he knows you are his.