Why do men lie and then try to turn it around on the girl?

I have been dating a guy for 4 months. He moved in, and was always with me and very loving towards me except he was lazy and would lie about the stupidest things. For example, if food from the freezer was missing, he didn't eat it..Even though I knew he did.

One day we got into a BIG fight about this and I asked him why he lied about things like that. He said that if I thought he was a liar, he was leaving...and he left..Over food. Unreal.

Now he has been texting me all night, every night saying that he knew he was wrong and he regrets leaving me. (1 week ago) He wants no one but me and he loves me very much.

Today I had 2 girls from his job contact me and say that I shouldn't fall for his crap because he has been stalking a girl at work since he left me(not before he left but since then) I confronted him about how he said he only wants to be with me and told him I knew about the girl and he's creeping her out.

He started calling me a loser and swearing and me and saying really awful, nasty things. I don't care, I'm done, its over, but why, this is for men and woman, do guys do such things and try to hurt us when we are already hurt about the lies to begin with. Why the insults? Why the name calling and why try to flip the script?

And no he is not overweight, he's actually very skinny.

I apologize I don't want this to be a man thing, why do people lie(male or female) and then get angry at the person they lied to and become very nasty?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The man, or should I say boy, is not able to accept he is wrong for anything. And though when confronted with the truth, he acts like a petulant boy, and thus blames you for his own shortcomings.

    He needs to grow up an accept responsibility for his actions, to tell the truth and to do deal witht he consequences. It is your decision if you continue to mother this boy in the hope he develops into a man, or you leave him to have his tantrums on his own.

    • No, I'm done with him. he has been calling me every night, in the middle of the night. Now I turned my phone off. I don't like to mother anyone. I take people for what they are with no expectation of change. It is what it is, just wondered why people do this. It is definately over.

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    • So, its basically a temper tantrum because they didn't get away with it? Thanks, that's useful information. More useful than the idiot below who answers questions to be nasty and insult people. And he doesn't even answer the question you ask in the first place.

    • Oh absolutely it's a temper tantrum. Have you ever seen a little child misbehaving whilst being out. And someone tries to be nice to them and they turn round and go "I don't like you", and if the person being nice persists the little child then screams and stamps their feet. Basically he really needs to grow up, pretty much like the other idiot you were on about.

What Guys Said 8

  • In most cases, the reason people do this is because they've been sheltered and protected from the consequences of their actions their whole lives. You see it all the time. A kid does something wrong, and the parents, instead of punishing the kid, will instead argue for him and defend what he did. It teaches the kid that they are never wrong, and that someone else is always to blame for anything "bad" that they do.

  • What you describe is the act of someone lying and then becoming very aggressive when someone tells them explicitely that they know they're lying. To me he tries to turns things on you so you back down (for example trying to appeal to your sense of guilt for daring calling him a luar). Once that leads nowhere he gets very aggressive and try that route. Once that has failed, he then comes back all nice and asks for forgiveness and tells you all kind of sweet things and compliments. He basically try to manipulate you in different way until he finds something that works.

    To me these people are expert manipulators and they believe they can do as they please and lie about anything without having anybody daring coming and confronting them about it.

    Watch out for yourself because it seems to me he's just playing with you without caring about you at all.

  • You moved in with someone four months after you met them. That's your problem. Everything else you wrote is unimportant.

    As to men lying, I don't lie, and it's not very attractive to a lot of women. Get over your need for drama and you'll find a guy who doesn't.

    • It was just a question, but I've seen this before, even with my own father..So if you feel the need to insult me, that's inappropriate. I didn't ask what your opinion was on me moving in with him, its useless to me. But thank you for trying to give me an intelligent answer..Seems like your the one that likes drama!

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    • Yes, you do like drama...READ my question. I did not ask for your opinion on anything else. I didn't ask for your insults, I didn't ask for your sarcasm, or you bashing me. I am also not looking for sympathy. You are trying to degrade me just like him. What's the matter, does this profile describe you?No, I don't waste my time with losers, so buh-bye, bother someone else! Leave. Did I spell that correctly?

    • Dude, this is an advise forum, if you're going to insult people for asking questions then I suggest you take your precious ball elsewhere.

  • why do women talk in the absolutely?

  • Because they believe their own lies. That guy sounds like a sh*t head.

  • My wife was a big liar too, tried to pull the same sh*t when caught in her lies. It's not a gender thing, it's a scumbag thing.

    • yeh, that's exactly what I called him too...a scumbag..man or woman, I'm just asking why do people treat us like s**t when they are caught in a lie? I only said guys because that's what I have experienced..

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    • You're faced with a problem here. See you can ask an honest man, but he can't tell you why a liar is so full of crap. You can ask a liar the answer to this, but the problem is, s/he's a liar, so you you can't trust anything they say if they're half the pathological liar, you folks are describing here.

    • true, very true..I never thought about that. I thought maybe someone had more knowledge on behavioral issues. I am discovering that within my answers other people have different types of behavioral issues that I cannot comprehend nor will I try to...

  • Well my dear not all men or women are the same. I've had nothing but bad women my whole life . But that never stopped me from trying to get back into the grove. You deserve a whole lot better anyways . “To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.”


What Girls Said 1

  • I've expereinced something like this too often. That person feels guilty for lieing and kinda feels bad about themselves so then they try to explain what they did by belaming it on another person. Eithier that or they think your stupid enough to believe them. Eithier way it's not good.