My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now, we are best friends and in love. He asked me to transfer with him to another college (which is a better move personally for me as well as for us) but I am finding that I can't help but feel like I am putting him under a microscope lately because I... Show More
How can I become more confident in my relationship and myself despite HUGE changes?
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What Girls Said
This could be the way you cope with change. By finding reasons not to.
Think about it, you're moving and making a huge commitment. How much more scarier can it get? Your insecurity about this decision might just be manifesting in paranoia. It's not like you can come right out and say, "This is scary, I'm not 100% sure this is the right thing to do. I don't know what's going to happen if I make this commitment, so I'm scared." Instead you're finding reasons not to go - by thinking he might be cheating.
What you need to do is think about what you're really afraid of, try to get to the bottom of your anxiety about him. It could be you aren't really ready to take such a huge step after only dating a year. Who knows? But if you have irrational responses to rational behavior, it's usually because you're not dealing with the correct problem. I don't think you have a problem with infidelity, you have a problem making such a life changing decision.
Think about what's the real motivation behind your fear - write it out, talk to a friend, whatever it takes for you to be totally honest about this. If you can be honest about your feelings, you can be more confident about your relationship and the decisions you make pertaining to it.