Is my girlfriend depressed/sad "on the inside"?

Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for a few months now, and after listen to the things she says, and how she acts, I've been wondering if she is sad on the inside, and if so, what I can do to help.

Anyways, a summary of what she has told me/acts around me:

She told me that when she was younger, she was always the "sad and lonely girl" that would cry everyday she came home from school, because she had no close friends, no guys ever asked her out, and her one crush treated her like crap. In high school, she said she was a much happier person, because she had a boyfriend, but still hated school. Now that high school is long over; her first boyfriend lied and cheated on her, and her subsequent boyfriends turned out to treat her like crap.

She claims that she "transformed" in high school, and I would say that by her looks and clothing, she did. Despite what she said, I think she was beautiful even back in the days when guys said she was ugly.

Now to our relationship, she says I am the greatest person to ever come into her life, and she loves me very much (she claims she is severely attached to me). She claims that I am better than any boyfriend she has ever had in the past, especially at how I remember her. She admits she would do anything to spend time with me, and she enjoys everything that I do for/with her. And when I have to leave on business trips, she breaks down in tears and hugs me tightly, once saying that she loves me and told me not to leave her (I have no intention of doing so). She also tells me how she absolutely loves to cuddle and snuggle with me, and there isn't anything in the world that she would want to do more.

As for her life, she just recently got a job, but she often stays at home and watches TV alone when she's not working. She "occasionally" hangs out with friends, and often hangs out with family. Compared to her childhood, her parents now vacation without her. However, she at least seems like she is happy and everything around her sister and sister's children (my girlfriend loves children).

So after reading this, what do you think? Personally, I believe that despite what she claims about having transformed, I gather that she is still a sad and lonely person on the inside. If so, what can I do to help her, or am I already doing it?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I think you're feeding her insecurities by saying it's a-ok when she's really not. We girls get dependent if you let us. She seems to be in the process of "finding herself" but not knowing how... but she is getting there, because people will take a good look at their lives when they're at their lowest point and reassess. I know because I did this back when I was 17 and on the verge of not graduating hs. I started focusing on myself more, because once you learn to love yourself then you can start learning to love others. Now I am the happiest and nicest 20-yr old you will ever find. I'm attending a university and applying to a pharmacy school soon... and my life cannot be any sweeter.

    When I was trying to "find myself," my boyfriend left me alone for a couple days and told me I was smart enough to know what I should do. Lol and that's obvious, because only the PERSON knows what is actually wrong and to find ways to SOLVE them.

    I was failing my honor classes, so what did I have to do to graduate? Put in the effort every night to go to adult school - and I graduated hs on time. I was broke because I went out so much - so I spent more time working instead of going out to save money. My parents were always mad at me - I swallowed my pride and apologized for my rebellious nature.

    You have a problem.. you find a solution. Easy as that.

    If she likes kids... get a tutoring job or whatever, maybe she will find her passion. That's sad that her parents vacation without her; tell her to come visit them more often and patch up the bond (bc there is no greater bond than family). You get the idea. Hope it helps..